my dad molested my sister,(long time now) she is hurt obviously, she confronted him about it to get some closure, it is a situation u can never forget about. However, i was not a victim of my dad, but she wants me to ask him y he did it too. should i ask him? i think it would be awkward to ask him.
do u think i should hate him a little for what he did to her?
2007-03-11 17:16:14 · 19 answers · asked by upgrade u 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have dealt with being molested alone for 17 years I'm glad that your sister has you to help her get through it,but she cant expect you to confront you dad if your not comfortable with that. you should do it on your own terms.It would be easy to hate him for it but in my opinion forgiving him and getting him some help would help you and your sister to heal.Hating someone causes you to hold on to the pain.You do however need to tell someone so that this doesn't happen to some other little girl.what if you have a little girl someday? Protect her now.
2007-03-11 17:58:18 · answer #1 · answered by goodgirl5567 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Obviously your father is a sick man, just admitting that he had molested your sister as a child is enough to warrant concern.
I can understand though because he never touched you that you can still love him, but you should understand how your sister even though they may have talked will never feel the way you do towards him.
As a sister who is aware of what your father did I would be more apt to chose my sister. I hope that you have not given him grandchildren yet and if you have boy or girl you do not allow him to spend time with them, boy or girl.
The likely hood of him having molesting your sister is small just as the likely hood of him not molesting any other child is small, meaning he would if the chance where given him molest again.
Molestation is not something that a person just does once, and as long as you support him knowing that he did this to your sister, you are allowing him to harm more children.
Best of Luck I do not envy the choices you need to make
2007-03-11 19:13:36 · answer #2 · answered by Marla D 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your Dad and sister needs to talk to someone in order to get any closure out of this and get the hate out and he may need to get some help because one day there will be grand kids to think about.
2007-03-11 17:20:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your sister has not had closure. In order for her to move on she needs to close all ties to this man. If she was a child, you should understand that he is a sex offender. I don't think it is any of your business to confront your father or "hate" him. However, if you love your sister and want to help her, make sure she doesn't know you carry on a relationship with a man who committed a crime.
2007-03-11 17:28:24 · answer #4 · answered by kayakyen 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No one can tell you if you should hate him, that's something only you can answer. No matter what, he's sick & needs help. I can't believe some of the responses on here either but my own family can't seem to wake up to this reality either. Stand by your sister, if you can, she needs you & she needs to get to someone professional that can help her deal with this so that it doesn't ruin her life, maybe you too should go with her, can't hurt. So sorry this happened.
2007-03-12 15:10:06 · answer #5 · answered by "Raine" 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been on the side of the sis getting hurt by my father and it hurt me but i was not there.i have also been molested and had my daughter molested now my grandaughter.it is a sick diseise ur father has.it will take a long time for ur sis to deal with this truma.to trust men ,even when we r abuse by the one's we love it is hard to hate.your sis just wants to understand y she was the victim.let her know she is not at fault.and for god's sake's keep ur children away from this man.let ur sis know it does happen and cousling will help her come to terms with her misfortune.
2007-03-11 17:40:43 · answer #6 · answered by t w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for what happened to your sister, and for you because of the predicament you have been forced into. There is no simple answer to your question. This is a very complicated situation no one here is qualified to answer. You need to talk to your family about seeing a family therapist. There you will find the help you need.
2007-03-11 17:22:11 · answer #7 · answered by YouGotTold 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is between your sister and father. This is not for you to try and fix. Continue to support her and try to encourage her to seek counselling.
How you feel towards your father, is entirely up to you. I don't think you "should have" to hate him. You might benefit from some counselling yourself to help you with any feelings you might be going through as far as your Dad is concerned.
2007-03-12 02:16:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
a little. i would hate him a lot. i don't think u should ask him, i would say she should but be there for her, she is leaning on u and counting on u. if she ask him u can stand there with her just so that she can feel safe. always help her cause she needs it no matter how long ago it was.
2007-03-11 20:48:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry very weird question. not in ewww,freaky weird but, as in unusual. i would't ask. your sis thinks that knowing this will bring closure, but it won't . she feels that if she knows why she'll feel better. though she may be mad at you for not asking , it's probably the best thing for both of you. hope everything works out,man. peace!God Bless!
2007-03-11 17:22:58 · answer #10 · answered by veg3rdchair 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋