Why is my dad so intent on making me feel miserable?

Question

I'm 17 years old and this past year has been one of the worst in my entire life ... it started a few days after my birthday, he beat me mercilessly because he was stressed from my mom and work so I called social service and he realized the errors of his ways so I forgave him & he told me he'd start treating me like an adult, not some stress relief doll .. the family moved to saudi arabia where my dad was intent to "start a new life" because he thinks it's a spiritual place for our arab background ... i'm pretty miserable here and have no friends, stay at home all day, cause that's the culture life of this place ... so I most likely will be able to get into UVA this may & want to attend, since I already have a lot of college credits so I have a huge head start and our instate tuition would be just as cheap as a school overseas ... but he lashed out on me the other day cause of something my brother did ... and my mom doesn't try to calm him down or offer any support, so once again, I'm

his stress relief ... and him and my mother make me pretty much feel like crap, always criticizing me, and I already have ocd perfectionist issues ... and he said he doesn't want me to go to uva and will pay for a much more expensive/less prestigious/foreign college just so I can't go back to the place I grew up in and made childhood friends, basically he wants me to be in this freaking house all day under his control, where i can't leave or grow or have any mind or life of my own ... and i'm really sick of it and feel like I just need to get out, but I have no idea how to do this ... i have a huge splitting headache right now and feel soo depressed ... any tips? >=(

Answer 1

UVA? Is that Virginia?

Um, I went through abuse when I was your age. It was scary. I felt trapped. But you know what? Make it your life goal to become as self-sufficient as possible so you don't need your father around you. If you can get away and go to college, take advantage of that. If he beat you, make sure you get away and stay away from him. I would advise also getting counseling while you're in college. Why? You were raised in an abusive family, so all you know is abuse. It's a tough road to find the correct way to live. There are a lot of abusive men out there and you have to be careful not to have relationships with other abusive men that remind you of your father.

So:
1. Get away from him (college, or whatever other means)
2. Get counseling and learn that you don't ever have to tolerate any emotional or physical abuse from anyone ever.

What a horrible man. I'm so sorry you had to endure that. On the bright side, my family is weak and now cannot support themselves. Now they kiss my butt because I worked so hard to be self sufficient. You can do it too.

PS---Paul Y. is an idiot. He probably abuses his children. Ignore everything he said. You have every right to feel safe in your own home without abuse.

Answer 2

You are one year away from making your own decisions but if your father is beating you and you can not get help for this
non-acceptable behavior,you need to make plans as soon as possible for a new place to live.He could accidentally mar
you for life,or worse.You are in a bad situation,can you stay away from home on a job plus finishing school so you're away most of the time.If you have a friend willing to help you get out of there.Do anything to stop abusive life you are subjected to.

Answer 3

my dad was similar (but different - they isn't a mold to be broken).

I spent my time when at home mainly in my room - my mum understood and got me a sterio and a tv.
I signed up for every evening class i could find to stay away and keep busy.
I studied like crazy to get into university - which meant i lived away from home.
Cos we were poor - I had to work part-time too to save for my education.

I read loads of books too - there is a book list on my 360.

I now live on the opposite side of the world from him - and i still get stressed out by his ways when i visit.

Best of luck - if you are feeling bad - drop me a message on my 360 - I can't do anything to help but listen - but that may help - I hope.

Answer 4

I feel for your pain sweetie. For now - just don't say anything that may provoke him. Bite your tongue and just do what he said since you're at a place that have no respect for women. This is not a way to treat your own child or anyone. This is pure evil - not love.

Are you a US citizen? See if you can get help at the embassy or any human right place; show them your scar and find out if you can get out of this horrible place. God bless!

Answer 5

I dont know the details of your situation but if you were born in the USA and are a citizen I advise you to go to the US embassy and tell them your story and that you want to go back to the USA.

If you decide to do this do not tell anyone your plans. And tell the US embassy you cannot go home or you will be beaten badly.

Answer 6

If I were you and if you have relatives in the USA, Then I'd see about going to stay with them for awhile for your safety. Try to stay in the usa, if you go to Arabia you just might end up as a slave that your father may want to trade for. This is what they do in Arabia. So if you can stay in america.

Answer 7

first of all he is the man
don't you have to obey him?
when you grow up you will appreciate
this man more then you will ever know
if he has issues with you ...then just wait
until you are out of his house
this is still his house and right or wrong he rules.
being a dad is a thankless job...
children always blame their dads for every little
thing..its not easy to be a DADDY