Have you ever heard from an ex that hurt you very badly?

Question

My ex hurt me emotionally and mentally. He betrayed me in many ways. And we had exchanged hurtful word and I found out things about him in which I was completely shocked about. Anyhow, I helped him through so much and he acted as though we were aquaintances??!! Like we were never "together". I was with him for almost two years. Is he in denial?? Even though we told each other we dont ever want to speak to each other, I'm hurt very much. Its been a month and we have not contacted each other. I dont want to be the one to ever contact him, because I did before and he walked all over my forgiveness. This time, though I meant it, that I wish I never met him & have not attempted to contact him at all. I suppose what I want is a real apology for what he did and said to me. Do you think I will ever hear from him. I feel hurt and Im still sad, I have moved on, but that feeling of what he did to me, still hurts. Can anyone relate? Anyone ever get that apology? Thanks

Answer 1

I was in a bad relationship when I was younger and totally naive about it. Looking back now that I'm older, I think "What was I thinking!" He was older then me by a few years and he knew what to say and do to have me wrapped around his fingers. He played me bad. But I was in "Love" So I thought. I would buy him things, I even had to bail him out of jail once. he said it was for an unpaid ticket, and I believed him. Ya right who knows what he was in jail for! He saw other girls behind my back, I chose not to see it. I finally said enough is enough, He broken one to many promises. So one day decided not to call him anymore after he stood me up one to many times. And to my surprise he never once called me. never stopped by, nothing. I was heart broken, crushed. We saw each other for two whole years! And he never once tried to contact me. I felt like I needed closure, But I knew that If I called him, he would try to get me to come over or something. and I knew that if he asked me to come over I probably would. So I never called him, he never called me. That was the end of that, I still to this day (5 years later) Have so many unanswered questions. I have no idea where he is or what has become of him. I look him up everyonce in a while on myspace, just to see if he's there. I think about him a lot. But time heals all, I was hurt but I did what I thought was best for me. I have moved on, it turned out to be for the best. I beleive that everything happens for a reason. I never got an apology, But I forgave him. I think that's what matters most.

Answer 2

Don't feel bad, I'm still can feel the hurt and anger about some of the nasty things x boyfriends did and that was like 26 years ago.One apologized and the other will get a swift kick in the nutz when or if I ever see him! I'm happily married now to a terrific person and that's because I finally admitted to myself that I deserved better, so I got it.Sure,you'll eventually get over it and it'll hurt less,but maybe we're not really supposed to forget things like that. We remember them so that next time it happens we'll be smarter and do things better. You won't get fooled by schmucks like that again. Maybe some day when he's older and has had a chance to reflect back on his life he might get it and apologize but don't look for it.You could end up waiting forever.Just be the best person that you can be ( so you'll attract someone fabulous into your own life.)Take comfort in knowing that whatever he's done wrong to you will come back to haunt him when someone does it to him!Keep a journal of your feelings. Its a great place to dump out all that frustration and unresolved feelings.You'll find that it can help you to let go of stuff quicker which means you'll feel better sooner.

Answer 3

I understand.

May I suggest, that what You focus on , determines your reality.

Do not feel like you Need an apology from anyone, for if you do, then You stop Yourself from being happy and moving on, cause you are waiting for your ex to act. And that could be forever.

By doing that, you are having Him controll You.

You decide here and Now, who is controlling you, yourself or others?

If you choose yourself, then know that you either move on or you don t.

The feeling s won t change instantly about the past. The hurt won t go away quick. Yet if you do things, Anything, and completly cut contact with your ex, then you and your ex will heal.

Do anything. Even if it s walking in a park or going to the movies a billion times. Or reading a book, or getting a part time job, or volunteering for somthing you enjoy , like taking care of animals. I m certain a petshop , (even if they pay there employee's) , if you talk only with the manager, and let them know you want to volunteer to take care of your favorite kind of animal, they will let you.

I am getting over a break up with my ex-wife. I try and do things to get my mind off of the past, of the pain. And it still linger s inside, yet it hasn t been that long either.

Yet, even though every day , i find it hard to find even the Will to get up , with no reason to get up. I decide to get up and go out for a walk. Sometimes I walk all day long.

It s doing somthing that helps one survive.

Answer 4

The exact same thing happened to me 2 years ago. Except it is the guy I lost my virginity to!!! We said some pretty nasty things to each other at the end and we have not spoken to each other since. I felt like you, that I was not going to contact him and that he should make the first move to apologize. If not, I would not bother either. He never did...
2 years later whenever something reminds me of him, I feel the anger rise in me. I think I get more upset that I was able to be fooled by him. However I have moved on and I feel that I'm less blinded by love now.
Good luck to you :)

Answer 5

Yes, I did in a manner of speaking. I left a relationship with my ex after 17 years and 2 children. During that time I was continuously emotionally abused. The anger and resentment when I left were unbelievable. One day about 5 years after we had spilt up, he called and told me that he wished the best for me. That if I needed anything to give him a call. That he really meant it. Today, we still don't talk very much except where it involves the children. But the anger and resentments are gone.

Answer 6

I got an apology from a guy who would go back and forth with me. He would like me, then act like we never dated and he couldnt care less about him. He finally apologized but it didnt help and by that time I didnt care much. I tried to be his friend but again he became a jerk again. So cut your losses now. Dont call him and if he calls you just say you are busy and hang up. If you want to spare yourself the hurt and headaches stop thinking about him. Know that because you met him you are changed now. It was good that you met him only because now it has made you the way you are now. We all learn from our past relationships, like what we really do want and dont want from our future loves. Bad past relationships help you make wiser choices in the future.
So just throw out his number and start dating new guys.

Answer 7

I can relate to what you said. My advice to you is to forgive and forget.

I've been with my ex over 28 years and he treated me as though I was his enemy. The only time he tried to reach me was to tell me off and to get what he needed. He took advantage of my kindness and vulnerability.

I thank God for getting me out of this relationship.

Move on and never look back. You're still young and you'll find someone better. Hug.

God bless!

Answer 8

More often than not...relationships turn sour! Mostly cause one person has made a new agenda! They are just not honest enough to say it! Whatever the case is here...just keep telling yourself that he isn't your true soul-mate and think about other things. Contacting him will only prolong the hurt and make it worse for you. Just except the fact IT"S OVER and move on! I know it's easier said than done...but its got to be done!

Answer 9

im going through the exact same thing right now! I wish i knew why.. All i can say is stay strong and don't call. He is the one who needs to apologize. Even if it takes forever he will look back one day and realize what he did and it will be too late. You will get stronger. It sux right now but it'll get better.

Answer 10

Been there dear. Don't expect an apology. Treat the matter as over and move on with your life. He is not worth thinking about. So be cool.