My boyfriend is planning on asking me to marry him formally in June, he just got so excited that he couldn't keep it from me that long and wanted to be sure that I'd say yes as well. Now that he's got a yes, he's a nervous wreck about talking to my father. We both live 2-2.5 hours away(I'm 30 min away from my boyfriend) and we actually went to visit my parents with the intention of my boyfriend having "the talk" but he chickened out. I'm very close with my father, definitely daddy's little girl, as I am the only girl in a family with three boys. My boyfriend wants to do the right thing and ask for his blessing but can't seem to come up with a game plan. We're both fairly young, but the same age that my parents are when they married and they will be celebrating 25 years this November. My parents are very traditional, the kind of people that don't like people who live together before they are married or anything of the like, so I think they will support our decision. Any tips for him?
2007-03-11 15:34:42 · 10 answers · asked by justpeachee22 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Any slight mention of an engagement before has made my mom ready to go buy books and magazines about weddings...if he asked her too, she'd have the wedding planned before I was ever formally engaged, lol...I'd prefer if this was kept as a man to man sort of discussion.
2007-03-11 15:48:59 · update #1
I'm loving all the different angles you guys are coming up with (asking on the day my dad asked my mom, talking to my brothers, etc.)...keep up the good work!
2007-03-11 16:37:42 · update #2
yes.
Tell bf to buy dad a token gift he can present when he meets with him. If he going to visit at your house when he asks for your hand, he should also present a gift for your mom,(doesn't have to be more than $30 per person( maybe just flowers for your mom)).
or he could take him to lunch at a
decent restaurant, a hotel restaurant might be nice b/c they are typically relatively quiet.
Tell bf to list his accomplishments and what he has in mind for the future.
He should indicate his beliefs ie. a man should always provide, he would never hit a female...his religious afffiliation..etc,etc..
He should indicate how much he loves you, how he believes your dad and mom have raised a lovely daughter.
He should relay how much he wants to live the rest of his life with you and thus he wants to ask for his blessing to marry you..
I think that is so sweet.
I am reminded of the scene from "Roots, the Next Generation" when just the above was done.
2007-03-11 15:55:23 · answer #1 · answered by creole lady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't agree that his parents speaking to his parents is better at all. It smacks a bit of plotting between parents to get rid of their child!
It wouldl be wonderful if he asked him personally. My fiancé was very nervous about asking my Dad, and we too don't live locally to each other. We booked a restaurant and invited my mum and dad for a meal. While we were there, I made sure my fiancé was relaxed enough to enjoy the meal (I told him to ask my Dad after he'd had his meal-and probably a few drinks!), and then he asked in his own time, looking a bit bashful, but it was a lovely moment that I'll remember forever.
Personally, I'm glad I was there. I wouldn't make a huge thing of it though, because it'll stress him out even more. Try to calm him down by reminding him that a) Your Dad likes him (otherwise he would have certainly voiced his opinion) and b) Your Dad will think very highly of him for asking, especially if he sees you as his little princess (as mine does!) and if he is a traditional bloke.
Keep it simple, because coming up with a detailed plan means more things could go 'wrong' to put your boyfriend off asking!
2007-03-12 06:53:02 · answer #2 · answered by potterfaerie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should dress up, and ask for his blessing before hand. He should be Strong, Confedent in his choice, but not overbearing, or cocky at all. Humble because it helps if the father think he's realy asking, and not just following the actions you need to do to marry. If your father cant respect him as a man then he will probably say no. Asking on the day that they were engaged may be benificial, because of the similar aging. I wish you the best of luck, and a happy ending.
2007-03-11 15:42:50 · answer #3 · answered by sasukechaos 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Keep it between him and you father at first. Eye contact is important. Stand up straight and don't beat around the bush too much. Be straight forward. Be honest. He must be himself. Your father more than likely will see right through it if he doesn't. Parents have that tendancy see through it if your not being who you are and that's not a good thing. But if you want the best advice, go to your brothers (if possible - depends on age and maturity, upon other things)
2007-03-11 16:31:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to show a strong and positive attitude. And it wouldn't hurt if he talked to both your parents. This will gain him some respect from your mom. It should be her decision too. Just don't let them see his nervous that will make him look as if his not so sure he can take care of you like they would want. Also, when he sees them he needs to shake your fathers hand as if he where at a business meeting. A strong and firm handshake and looking him in the eye will give a good impression.
2007-03-11 15:45:38 · answer #5 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I feel that you both should go to dinner at your parent's home and after dinner your B/F should go into the living room alone with your Dad and have a heart to heart. He should tell him that he loves you very much and he wants to marry you and he wants to ask for his blessing. If you Dad likes your B/F, he will surely approve. Just tell your B/F to be sincere and look him in the eye when he speaks to him. Also he should shake hands with him after his speech is overwith. Good Luck
2007-03-11 16:37:52 · answer #6 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he might go an ask mom first if he feels more at ease to ask mom an she might have an idea or go out to eat an have him ask him for your hand i think it is very romantic not many guys will do that
2007-03-11 15:41:43 · answer #7 · answered by rodeogirl 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be involved at all! He should be a man, and just do this on his own, go see them without you there.
2007-03-12 01:20:37 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him to just be himself. Tell him to express to your father that he loves you so much and he wants a future with you and tell him to just say that he wants to make it forever.
2007-03-11 15:39:52 · answer #9 · answered by sweethonesty1699 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
if ur parents are traditional, they will like it more if ur bfs parents talk to them instead.
2007-03-11 15:39:32 · answer #10 · answered by pinkie 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋