Im in love with a married man who happens to be my boss and 30 yrs older than me.?

Question

He has never promised to leave his wife and has never promised me anything long term. It is very hard to break things off with him becuase I really have it made at my job. I get paid very well and I have a lot of perks and freedom. He is always doing nice things for me and he has never, ever mistreated me or even raised his voice. He pampers me and babies me silly and always lifts my spirits. I have never experienced love like this before, he is my mentor, my best friend, my father figure, and so much more, even though I know it is wrong I am miserable without him. I try to date but no one ever seems to measure up to him. Am I going to have to quit my job in order to move on with my life and get over this man? Please help...any advise you can offer will be appreciated.

Answer 1

I can assure you that you will never know a love as good as this. You are pampered and desired all the time. You are permanently in the 'in love' phase of a relationship which in most relationships only lasts for a year or two.
Unfortunately, you will not know the other side of relationships where you share your life, have arguments, struggle, and have kids. This is often a deeper kind of love, or it may be a disaster. You just don't know.
As he is 30 years older than you, the relationship will not go on forever as he will probably die or become incapacitated while you are relatively young. Many women have spent a portion of their lives in this type of relationship and then moved on to a normal relationship when the time came. You may then be too old to have children.
It depends on what is important to you. Many people will tell you to run or leave, but it's not as simple as that. Take your time and decide on what you think is best for you.

Answer 2

Of course this guy seems like he care about you. You are 30 years younger than him. The sex is awesome for him. And you are probably not used to being showered with so much attention and so many gifts. I had the same exact thing happen to me a few years ago. I made the mistake of getting involved also. He left his wife and 3 kids to be with me. Things didn't work out. He did divorce his wife and he did remarry shortly thereafter because they had been having problems for a long time. I came to realize that I never cared for this man at all really. I just liked having the attention and the money spent on me. This happened around 4 years ago or so. I regret doing it. I will never make the mistake of getting involved with a married man again. I was a slut for doing it to begin with. Also, what you are going through is actually sexual harassment. You need to break things off right away. Stay away from him. If you have to get another job, then do so. Don't be a homewrecker. Believe me, the guilt NEVER goes away. It stays with you for the rest of your life.

Answer 3

Having a relationship at work is never a good idea, even a "booty call" or "friends with benefits" thing. There is nothing good that will come out of it, and somewhere down the line, someone WILL get hurt. Whether it be you, him, or his wife and family. If you are having sex........stop. If you haven't had sex, then don't start. You don't have to quit your job, but you can't have a personal relationship at work without it affecting your work. My companies have recognized this, and made policy against this. This is something you're gonna have to decide in your mind and your heart. Just remember one thing, the decisions you make today, will affect you tomorrow. Best of luck to you.

Answer 4

Wake the $%#@ up will ya !!! There is a reason he's never promised those things to you and never will, because he has his own Girl Friday and pays her very well. I can guarantee you he has no intention of leaving his wife for you, that would cost him to much financially.

I know you just love your job, well because he doesn't require you to do anything to hard, except him. You already admit that you feel cheap, if you feel that bad about it and know it's wrong, the thing to do would be leave and start over. Earn your pay with some dignity woman !!! Geez Louise .. lol

Answer 5

if you are happy with the situation you would not be asking the question. you are not totally happy. you are miserable without him and almost happy with him. in the meantime you are not developing a relationship for yourself for the long term that could include marriage, children etc. yes, you probably have to get a different job when you are ready to make the break. you might have to get stronger before you are ready. take up yoga or some personal, spiritual discipline to get stronger so you can go get the life you really want. very few women are totally satisfied forever with a mistress role.

Answer 6

Leaving your job may be the only solution. How can you heal yourself if you must see and work with him all day. Your right, it is wrong, it is very wrong, but we don't always chose who we will fall in love with. I would suggest you tell him for your sanity, that you must end things. Start to date other men and stop comparing them to this man, give the new guys a chance. If this fails, then I would say start searching for new work.
Good luck, I know this is a hard thing to be going thru.
And it really stinks to be in love with someone and always be alone.

Answer 7

What a situation.

First ask yourself, if you tell him you want to end it, how will he respond? It sounds as if he is happy with the arrangement as it is, and would not be keen to end this relationship. You might threaten his job if you end it and remain his subordinate, but if you both remain involved he shares the blame with you if someone finds out.

For future reference, never get involved with a married man. Ever. It never ends well.

In any case you are probably going to have to leave your job, and definitely end this relationship somehow. The hard cold truth is that regardless of what you decide, you will have to kill your feelings for him. Look at your situation objectively and do what is in your best interest. This relationship is not in your best interest.

I am so sorry you are in this situation, it is really a difficult one. Good luck.

Answer 8

You should definitely NOT get involved with this guy.
The way he treats you sounds like he wants to have an affair with you but not leave his marriage. Kinda like messing with a younger girl while no one in his family knows about it.

If he is THAT great of a guy, then WHY is he married AND trying to have an affair? Obviously, he isnt. Some types of guys can seem really kind and wonderful to ONLY the person they like and just treats others (like crap) differently.

I'm sure there are MUCH better guys out there. They might not seem like it at first, but definitely, you dont want a guy like him. One who will just end up cheating on you when you grow old.

Answer 9

First, I would confront the man you are seeing and tell him how you feel. I know this can be hard, but it has to be done. You DON'T want to be home wrecker, as Gretchen Wilson would say. That feeling will stay in conscious forever. If i were you, I would confront him, break it off, and see how work goes. If he tries to make work harder for you, he could get in serious trouble for that. If it gets to be too bad, i would try looking for another job, but don't let this one man ruin your career and your love life!

Answer 10

If you feel this relationship is wrong, then yes, you will have to quit your job. You will have to have no contact, and move on with your life. Time will heal the loss, and real love will always find a good heart...but you have to leave room for it, by keeping your heart open, and healthy. Good luck