My 21mo old girl listens fairly well at home. If I tell her to stay out of the kitchen, she will. If I tell her to take her PJ's and pull-up to the bathroom and put her toys in the tub, she will. When we go out to say, a book store, she runs off as soon as I set her down and won't listen to me when I tell her to "stop" or "stay close". She gets mad when I try to hold her hand and just starts pulling away and getting grumpy. When I pick her back up, she fusses and gets mad because she wants to run around.
I never set her down in a very busy place because I know she could hurt herself or someone else. I'm trying to teach her to walk and stay close to me in places I know won't be crowded- like our local book/entertaiment store that has a cafe. Any suggestions?
I want to teach her in a safe way now so I won't have any problems as she gets older and can no longer be carried all the time. Also, is she too young to learn to stay away from strangers?
2007-03-11 14:11:50 · 25 answers · asked by Erin H 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
by stay close I mean stay within about 10 feet of me. I know the dangers of kidnapping and would never let her more than a couple strides away.
2007-03-11 14:13:35 · update #1
Take a storller with you and tell her to hold your hand or she will have to sit in the stroller till she understand that she needs to stay close to you. Also explain to her that bad people may want to take her away from mommy and you don't want that to happen and that you are not trying to be mean but that you love her to much to let something bad happen to her. Children are smart and they understand more then most give them creadit for. I hope this helps good luck.
2007-03-11 14:19:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
She runs away because she is excited and curious about everything going on. She is having fun.
Now she needs to learn that having that fun and exploring the world by walking is a privledge. If she cannot listen and be obedient that she loses her privledge.
I would give her one warning to stop and if she continues scoop her up and strap her into a stroller or the cart. She will throw a fit. She will think that if she is loud enough that you will let her down. Stay strong. Immediately leave if you can't stand the tantrum in the store. Take her home and if you have the option tell her that you are taking her home to stay with Daddy and that you are going back to the store alone. Show her the bags when you go home and tell her how sad you were that she couldn't listen.
After losing her privledge a few times in a row she'll learn.
Consistency is key. SD
2007-03-11 19:04:16 · answer #2 · answered by SD 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem with my daughter (she's 2 1/2 now). I would always bring our umbrella stroller (it need to have a seatbelt she can't open) and it was her time out should she walk away (or run) from us in the stores.
The stroller also makes it nice to carry jackets and purses when not in use. It has been very effective and we still bring the stroller for convenience and as a visual reminder for her. With time though, and not giving in she will stop. It's an age thing and she's testing her boundaries with you.
If she still does not stop, they make a nifty gadget for around $20-$30 that you can clip to her shirt and will alert the unit attached to you when she gets so many feet away from you. It is available through onestepahead.com
2007-03-12 07:30:51 · answer #3 · answered by Kimberly W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a harness that you can use on her if she won't stay with you. Some people have mixed feelings about them, but it's just an idea.
Does she stay in a stroller?
Those are the only two ways I know that could contain her.
2007-03-14 16:18:00 · answer #4 · answered by Amber Eyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bungee cords ??? OK, sorry. Stroller, shoppingcart seat, anything that keeps them contained controlled and under constant observation. If little ones don't like it, remember who the parent is. If they're ready to cooperate and stay near you all of the time, then you'll be inclined to make allowances for granting them more freedom to move about while you're shopping.
2007-03-11 22:38:32 · answer #5 · answered by Blue Hyena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best solution for you is to go to walmart and find the backpack buddies. it's like a harness buddy, either a monkey or a puppy, with a leash attached to it. i've used that for my son and of course at first it was a hassle to have him get used to it. we had to find different ways for him to associate good, with this backpack buddy. so when ever we put it on him, we would start barking like a puppy. so after a while, he'd grab this backpack buddy to put it on. it was a joy to know that he liked having this on and it was very safe. knowing that i could be looking at something, holding on to him and when he takes off i'll feel a tug. so he can't go too far away from me. the one thing that i worried about is what others were thinking of me. some ppl looked at me weird, like how could i do that to my child. although a lot of parents, would look at me and say "wow that's a good idea".
there's that safety tape, that is being sold on tv, i don't remember the exact name. i've thought about buying that and just letting my son watch it every now and then. my son is only two years old and i know he won't get the concept of the tape right off the back. at least over time he'd learn, at his own pace. so yes, your child may be a bit young to start learning to stay away from strangers. it doesn't hurt to try though, sometimes what she does will surprise you.
2007-03-11 14:37:10 · answer #6 · answered by cekret77 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
One time when she runs off, hide but be watching her closely. Let her scream for you but don't appear. If you can, plan it with other people around to watch and let them pretend to be worried. More people in on your game in a crowded area makes it safer for everyone.
Once she realizes that she can be separated from you easier than she thinks, she will stay close. She is just playing chase with you but you change the game to hide and seek and she will quit playing as she realizes the situation is serious and dangerous.
Only do this if you are very sure that she knows you LOVE her. Abandonment and separation are a child's worst fear and the reality of the possibility hasn't registered with her yet.
2007-03-11 14:20:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Ok, the leash idea is a good one, if you can get them to walk with one on. I got one for my son and tried to put it on him in the shop. Everytime I fastened it he would get down on all fours and start barking and crawling around (much to the amusement of everyone around... he thought it was a game)
A stroller is another good idea but not always practical as some shops don't have enough aisle space for strollers.
One thing I used to do was to get something (packet of cereal, etc) and tell my son to hold one side of it and help mummy carry it because it was soooo heavy... worked a treat.
2007-03-12 04:02:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Personally, I am against the leash idea. I will not put my child in a leash. My daughter is extremly independent and she too runs off when we go shopping, and I just pull her off put her in her stroller that explain to her in a tone that she know she did something wrong and tell her mommy is going to put you in the stroller if you run away... and I have toy loops on the side of the stroller and have her hold on to it when we talk... in the begining I would still hold her hand , in case she let go....then eventually let walk by and keep my eye on her.
Good luck
2007-03-11 16:17:49 · answer #9 · answered by fernma 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
10 feet is too far away, she needs to be BY YOUR SIDE at all times. I LOVE the harness I bought for my daughter. They have one that looks like a monkey backpack and one that looks like a doggie backpack! You should get it, my dauhgter LOVES it and she will bring it to me when she knows we are going for a walk to the park or going shopping!
She needs to be BY YOUR SIDE to KEEP HER SAFE!!!!!
If you don't like the harness then your only option is a stroller or keeping her in the shopping cart.
She isn't too young to learn to stay away from strangers, but she will have a hard time determining WHO is a stranger and who isn't.
2007-03-11 14:58:00 · answer #10 · answered by Crazy Mama 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋