If someone asked you this would you be offended?

Question

My partner and I got engaged on a romantic weekend away 2 weeks ago! I'm so happy!

I have just caught up with my best friend to giggle and plan my wedding. (I am 31 she is 34).

Anyway, when she saw my ring she blurted out "oh my god, it that real? It looks fake, can I see the valuation certificate"

I am rather hurt and annoyed because:

a) It is a REAL 1.25 carat diamond
b) How rude of her to even ask!

Would anyone else feel the same? Especially after knowing that my lovely fiance spent $12.5K on the ring!

Oh, and yes, my partner was mortified that she was so rude.

Answer 1

Sounds like your girlfriend is either single with no prospects or has a chip of a ring and is jealous. If she has the chip of a ring or has no ring she has nothing to compare your ring to. Especially if it was a 12.5K ring. It probably has amazing clarity that she has never seen or could imagine on her hand. I am not sure why she would think a 1.25 carat diamond looked fake...I am sure yours is amazing (as is your fiance), but diamonds that big are hardly scarce.
She sounds ignorant of diamonds and etiquette in general and while I wouldn't necessarily drop her as a friend because of this, I certainly would be careful about adding her to your wedding party, as this time in your life will be easier if you include etiquette minded people.
And-- for the record Lester...I am not sure why you think her fiance spent too much on her ring. You have no idea of their financial capabilities now or in the future.
Take good care of that yummy ring!!!

Congrats!

Answer 2

I mostly think it's a very weird reaction from a close friend. Would she really think it's fake? Would she really be that jealous? Was it a joke that miss-fired? Did she ever get scammed in a big way either by a boyfriend or by a jeweler? Did she have a good reason to be extremely surprised, like do you and your fiance live very frugally so a real diamond ring is waaaaaaaaay off the wall to someone who knows you? Those kinda questions come to my mind when I hear this, more than indignation or such.... but I must add I personally am not easily insulted and especially not about financial matters.

Answer 3

I would be very offended and angry with her (but I'd let it go). I bet she was jealous that you have found a man and are settling down while she's getting older and is still single. She is jealous. I think it's more than just the ring...she is more jealous about your lifestyle although I'm sure she's also jealous about him (your fiancee spending such a large sum of money on an engagement ring for you). She must be quite immature and is older than you so she is probably wondering if she will find a guy before she gets too old (and not be able to have kids, look older and possibly less attractive etc). Don't worry about it. Good luck with the wedding.

Answer 4

It shows how little class and tact most people have, doesn't it? Whether it's .50 carats or 4 carats there are people that are going to think it's fake no matter what. Your friend has no manners and I would show her my bare behind before I show her the valuation certificate.

Before I have an aneurysm I have to say that you referred to your fiancee as "partner" twice. Please stop using that word for the love of god. If you are a heterosexual woman marrying a man, he is your fiancee. He will be the groom at the wedding. After the wedding he will be your husband.

Answer 5

My God, how rude!!!!! One should never ask if someone's diamond is fake or real. If they ask this, even if you say it is real, there is a chance they won't believe you. So it's really a very bad thing to ask. If she thinks it's fake then she should keep the thought to herself and not say it. It shows she doesn't believe that your fiance can afford it and she is also the type who wants to find the negative in your happiness. She might not know it, but she herself is not a truthful person. She thinks that she can lie about such things, why not others.

Answer 6

Yes it was rude of her to say it looks fake and ask to see the valuation certificate. To be honest 12.5K for only a 1.25 carat diamond is a huge rip-off.

Answer 7

Well it's really rude. She should know as your friend that it would get you either a: really pissed if it was actually real or b: make you extremely uncomfortable if it was not.
Next time you see her, just say you didn't appreciate her asking like that. It'd have been nicer to either keep it to herself, or ask politely how many carats it was, but even that question is rude unless you're very close.

Answer 8

Don't be offended.
I've said silly things like that and meant no harm.

When she first saw the ring it must have taken her breath away. Then feeling silly and embarrassed about what she said, she tried to say something sensible. Then want happens it makes things worse.

I'm sure you can relate to that, When I say something stupid like that. My friends call me a "bid dag" or you should have seen the look on your face, then we all have a big laugh.

You know your friend better than anyone. If it not in her nature to offend you, then she honestly didn't mean to.

Now go and call your friend and start having fun planing your wedding.

PS congratulations on your engagement.
.

Answer 9

Congratulations: :)

Yes, I would be totally offended. That was plain rude and tactless. But, you stated that she's your best friend. You probably know her way better than anyone else. Does she normally blurt out stuff like this unexpectedly? I mean, she probably thinks that you were both pretty tight to be able to say something like that? Well...are you? Try to talk it out with her, and since she is your best friend, I'm sure or I hope I'm sure she will understand how hurt you were when she said that. I do hope you both of you will laugh this off later.

Best wishes!! :)

Answer 10

Yes you would think how rude! because it is rude
but she may really think you & your guy may have been cheated
or she is just plain jealous
some people have a problem & do just blurting out things without thinking first
but don't lose your friendship over it just tell her it is real & try to leave it at that