The right decision to put our cat to sleep?

Question

2 days ago I inspected out cats bottom after I noticed she was bleeding from that region. After ringing the vet I booked her an appointment for that afternoon. The vet sited a number of possible causes but kept her in over night in order to examine her properly, while under sedation, in the morning. Yesterday she rang me to confirm my worst fears, that she had a tumor growing on one side of her rectum. We were then given the option of prolonging her life via pain killers and laxatives as she was obviously having trouble going to the toilet, despite appearing happy otherwise, or putting her to sleep. I chose to put her to sleep as I thought this was the only fair thing to do. However, although people tell me this was the right thing to do I cant help but feel I made the wrong decision and find it hard to forgive myself. Has anyone else had a situation like this, and how do you get over the loss?

Thank you all for your responces, it has helped me come to terms a little. I find talking with my family about the good times we shared with fluffy also helps, even if it does make us all somewhat tearful. She was a stray cat, but we had her for 14 years so I think we can be thankful she lived such a long and hopefuly enjoyable life with us. I know its selfish but I just want her back though...

Answer 1

I had to deal with the same thing only 2 months ago.
My cat was 14, and she wasn't eating so I took her to the vet and they told me she was in serious pain. She could give us painkillers for her, and steroids, or put her to sleep.
I was shocked she was in so much pain, I had wrapped her in cotton wool her whole life, and had no idea she was in suffering.
I choose the option to put her to sleep to, and felt unbelievably guilty for weeks after.
Eventually everyones kind words help me to deal with it.
After 14 years of caring for her it wouldn't be right to let her suffer for the last months of her life. Vets work with animals all day, and hate to have to put them down, she would never have suggested it if it wasn't the best decision.
Try not to bet yourself up, you did the right thing, it just takes time to get over it, but you will eventually, trust me x

Answer 2

I am so sorry for your loss, and I know how heartbreaking it is to have to make that decision.

Two years ago I had to have my 19 year old cat put to sleep. Though I knew at the time it was the right decision to make, the events leading up to it were very traumatic. I had recently moved to a new country and the first vet that I took my cat to over-sedated her in order to take a blood test. When I called the vet a few hours later to explain that my cat did not appear to be coming round properly, they refused to see her and I had to quickly find another vet who diagnosed that my beloved cat was in the final stages of kidney failure. I knew that I had to put my cat's welfare first, so I agreed with the vet that it was the kindest thing to have her put to sleep. However, the guilt that I suffered from feeling that if only I had not gone to the original vet in the first place was overwhelming. I believed that my cat's final 12 hours were miserable and that I was responsible because it was I who chose a poor vet. I cried a lot and not a day went by that I didn't blame myself. Two years and two newly adopted cats later, I still felt this way and was considering counselling when I came across an article that really helped me

http://rainbowsbridge.com/stories/Lynn-BreakingThePowerofGuilt-632963483160948750.aspx

Rainbows Bridge is a really good web site for all pet lovers and provides lots of support and advice to people who have suffered a loss. I hope that it will help you find comfort as it did for me.

Answer 3

First of all I just want to say I am sorry about your loss. My cat has just died, and I posted a question about it yesterday. I know how you must be feeling right now. Check some of the useful answers given to me regarding practical advice.

Regarding guilt, don't feel guilty.You obviously did what you thought was best. Virtually all pet owners face this dilemma at some point. If the animal has serious trouble with eating, grooming and toileting plus has medical ailments causing pain, then you are right to question its quality of life. The vet will often say, as he did to us, it is your choice as to whether to keep the pet alive, and he wasn't swayed either way, and couldn't really help us draw the line. Some people find this a very difficult decision, and would almost rather the vet decided for them.

My cat was almost 19 years old when she died, it shouldn't really have come as a surprise. In her last 18 months, she was housebound due to old age, and in her last few weeks became increasingly confused and disorientated. We didn't know what to do, so I can really understand where you are coming from.

Answer 4

:( i think u made the right decision, 2 years ago my cat phil was very ill as he had lost so much weight ( he was a fat cat i loved him so much) soon as he lost weight we knew something was wrong we took him to the vets and straight away the vet said she could feel a huge tumour and even with treatment he would most likely die.....i didnt wanna let him go but i knew it was the right thing to do i didnt want him to suffer he was 13 yrs old i still miss him now he was a wonderful cat always liked cuddles :( some people r different and can get on with loss of a loved one or animal i still hav a little pic of phil in a frame so i'll never forget him...it's so sad when u have to let them go :( i stayed with phil for an hour before they took him off to be put down I cried my heart out and his sister at home was so lost without him around. Im sorry for ur loss :(

Answer 5

You're dealing with two problems, your grief over the loss of your pet, and your guilt.
Its sad that you feel guilt, because you did all the right things for your pet. You noticed she was ill, and you took her to the vet. But its normal to feel that way when a pet dies. We have responsibility for them, and sometimes we have to make decisions that aren't pleasant.
If you feel it would help to talk it over, there are pet bereavement services. You can talk to people online or in person, you can make a memorial for your pet on some websites. If you just go and take a look, you'll find loads of other people who feel the same way.
Time will help you deal with the loss of a pet, hopefully you have some nice photos of her, and can try to remember the pleasure she gave you. At the moment its all to sudden to take in, you didn't get much warning she was ill. It must have come as a shock. As time passes that will fade.

Answer 6

it's a really hard decision to have to make, i had to make the same decision 4 months ago. my snowy had a blood clot, the vet said the same thing, they could prolong he's life with painkillers or put him to sleep. well i chose to put him to sleep, it broke my heart to do so but it wouldn't have been fair to let him spend the rest of his life dosed up on painkillers. afterwards i kept wondering if i had made the right decision and also felt guilty but i had to keep reminding my self that he wasn't suffering anymore. it's making me well up just thinking about it. he was my baby and i miss him so much but i know deep in my heart that i did the right thing for my boy. i had an individual cremation and have he's ashes in a little cat casket, that has also really helped me as i will always have him with me. i got a kitten as well, my other cat was so lonely on her own and it helped me too. im really sorry for your loss and wish you all the best.

Answer 7

You did the right thing, the other alternative of painkillers & laxatives would just have made the situation more distressing for your cat to deal with & when they finally were not enough you would have felt guilty that she suffered for longer. Guilt always goes with losing an animal, I feel guilty that I didn't get to say goodbye to my cat as he had an accident while I was in hospital giving birth to my daughter, irrational, yes, but I will always feel like this . Remember you loved your cat & treated her as well as possible, don't 'try to get over it', you have only just lost her, just try to live with it.

Answer 8

You did make the right decision, unfortunately animal can not tell us of there pain so we have to help them.
I doubt you would have wanted to see you cat suffer anymore. Enjoy the good memory's you had with her. I have suffered these feelings more than once over the years and the pain does go away in time.
Feel free to email me if you want to. I know what you are going through.

Answer 9

you did right. what kind of life would it be for your cat having pills forced down her neck? every cat i've had over the years absolutely hated having to get pills. your cat's at peace now & waiting for you. do your grieving & home another cat when the time is right. hold your head up. you made the hard call & came through for your animal. well done.

Answer 10

Hiya, I write this with tears in my eyes, please don't reproach yourself for having your cat put to sleep, i know what this is like you gave your cat the best quality of life and you came to the right decision. I had to have my cat put to sleep last year he had cancer. I went through the same emotions as you. Time will help, you will never forget her. God Bless you Take Care. x