how do you tell your children (7and 4) that their grandmother was murdered by their grandfather....?

Question

i don't have any children, but my younger sister is dealing with this right now.... our mom was killed 7 years ago, and her kids (especially the oldest) is realizing that he doesn't have grandparents like his friends....
she doesn't want to lie, but how do you explain this to a child? and to make matters worse, our father (who killed her) is free, so the kids need to know to never contact him.... please, only serious answers... thanks

kaitlyn... i'm so happy to know that my freaking nightmare provided you with a forum for you to show your sense of humor,compassion and ignorance...

Answer 1

My seven year old asks a lot of questions, and I find that often times I give much more answer than she needed. I would suggest that when they ask, you honestly tell them that she's passed, gone to heaven, whatever you believe. If they ask about grandpa, I would admit that he's alive, but indicate that he's not a part of your family anymore.

As they get older, you all may have to explain that he hurt grandma, and that's why she died, and that's why he's not allowed to be a part of your family. I wish you guys the very best in working through this tragedy, and I am sorry for your loss.

Answer 2

7bridges: Ouch. Please go over this with a qualified therapist before you try to tell the kids, but I think a productive way would be to say that there are different ways to be ill, some people are not well mentally, their grandfather is one of them; and he is ill enough that he sees things very differently from the way they see them. I'm not sure I would add the information about the murder until they are a little older; perhaps you could say for the time being that some people do mean things when they are mentally ill; and they need to be protected from Grandpa's meanness.

Another factor to consider is whether Grandpa is free because he has completed a sentence for manslaughter, was found not guilty by reason of (temporary or permanent) insanity, or was never apprehended in order to pursue a trial.

Answer 3

At 7 & 4 they are truly too young to understand the circumstances surrounding their Grandmother's death. I think you would be better off just explaining that Grandma is in heaven (or what ever your family believes). Maybe the best way to address the Grandpa issue right now is that he is gone. You have to be carefull about how much info you give out until they are truly old enought to understand how serious the situation really is. Talking to a professional counsilor in preperation for that discussion would be the smartest thing to do. My heart goes out to you, Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 4

You don't tell them that. They do not need to know this information. They will live better and happier lives NOT knowing this information.

Why would they contact him? If you and your sister are no longer in contact with them, then the kids won't have reason to. at 4 and 7 it's not like they are picking up the phone and dialing grandpa.

If he asks about them, just say that they are no longer with us. Technically you will not be lying. Grandma is in heaven (or where ever you and your sister tell your children people go when they die) and Grandpa is no longer with us. I am sure that will be enough to satisfy them.

Answer 5

First off, at 7 and 4 there is no way they could comprehend what happened, so telling them the truth or trying to explain it would never make sense to them at such a young age. The best idea is to state it very simply. Grandma died 7 years ago, and Grandpa is a very bad and evil man, and we don't talk to him anymore. BEYOND that, you wait till they are old enough to make sense of it, because I'm sure even at your age, it's hard to make sense of it.

Answer 6

I would say that grandma died a long time ago and grandpa went to live someplace else. I would tell them whole the truth when they are older. When they can truly take it, and comprehend the seriousness of it. At these ages they would not get it, they also shouldn't know things like that either, just to protect them. But, I would tell them, just not yet.

I feel so sorry for you and your family.

Answer 7

The Lord had this to assert to the prophet Jeremiah: "formerly I shaped you in the womb I knew you, beforeyou have been born I set you aside; I appointed you as a prophet to the countries." Jeremiah a million:5 The Lord suggested that even formerly he shaped Jeremiah in the womb he knew what variety of guy he grew to become into. once you're in the womb God knows you, he already has plans for you in this Earth, he created you with love and care. no one has a real to take that faraway from somebody. people who take a existence unjustly will face the wrath of God at their judgement. "however the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, people who prepare magic arts, the idolaters and liars, their place would be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. it particularly is the 2nd death." Revelation 21:8

Answer 8

No way. You do not tell thos kids that ****. You want to scar them for life? Give them nightmares? Tell her to make up some ****, like Grandma died of natural causes, and Grandpa did too (that way they will never contact him, and as soon as he is caught by the cops, he will be in jail for the rest of his life).

Answer 9

oh my heavens! Im sorry. i know the children will be asking a lot of curious questions of their grandparents,but to be honest, I would wait until they are a lot older to tell them what happened. go about it in a manner that they can grasp and understand easily.I will say a prayer for the family that things for you run smoothly once again. rubberstampr

Answer 10

I would sit the children down and explain to them what has happened, but in a way not to scare them. Reassure them that their Grandfather wont hurt them in any way. Tell them that their Grandfather is a bad person and it's in their best interest not to contact him.