what are your limits with your teens/kids?

Question

wat do u let them do? wat dont u let them do? do you care about the clothes they wear? do you let them watch rated r movies? how old are they if you let them? wat are the limits with your teens/kids? do you let them do watever they want? do they have to wash the dishes?and chores? stuff like that wud help me alot . thanks.

Answer 1

My husband and I have raised two teens to adulthood...we have 3 still at home.
We do not, never have, never will let them do whatever they want. We have rules, guidelines, chores, and they are expected to live within those boundaries.
Our teens do not watch rated R movies, as these are intended for those over age 17. They may see PG13 films after they have been approved by my husband or myself.
Our TV has parental controls, and anything rated PG13 and above is locked out (we also have very young children still at home, so this protects their sensitive eyes and ears.)
Video games rated M are not allowed, and those rated T are prescreened for content before permission is granted.
Chores they are expected to do include cleaning their rooms, taking out the trash, sweeping the kitchen floor, loading/unloading the dishwasher, wiping down the kitchen counters, shoveling the porch in the winter, and cleaning the bathroom they use. They often time will make a meal for the family once a week as well. Each child is also expect to do his/her own laundry. Our children are very capable, and will have no problems when it comes to living on their own.
The teens are also expected to inform us when going out...where they are going, who they will be with, a phone number for contact purposes, the other teen's parents' names, a time when they will return, etc.
Thankfully we have never had any issues regarding clothing. Our daughters have been taught to dress modestly, and our sons aren't interested in much more than jeans and tees. We would not allow piercings (other than ears for the girls - 2 holes only) nor would we allow tattoos...but none of this has ever come up. None of them have ever asked to dye their hair an odd shade of blue, etc. So we have been very blessed in the area of dress.
Our teens have occasionally tested the boundary lines in our home, but in general they accept and abide by our rules.

Answer 2

Seeing as I don't have kids but I do have a brother and I constantly think about what if I did have a kid and how I would change how my brother is brought up this is what I think:
I wouldn't care about there clothes as long as girls didnt show there c u Next Tuesday or there cleave, my boys could look like anything because I dont' think boys walk around with there junk hanging out. I think rated R movies should be watched then view ed to them depending on the content some are rated R because of language, some because of violence and some because of sex. And it also all depends on the maturity level of the individual child. But I also don't think that you should hold them back too much or they are only going to want to rebel and you don't want that because they will do worse things. Don't let them do whatever they want you should set limits but like I said not too much or they will find it constraining. Yes make them do chores not too many and always tell them that you appreciate it make it as if it was their suggestion not yours. ie "Well thank you Johnny for doing the laundry it was a good idea because I didn't have any more clean underoos."

Answer 3

I do not have teens, but I was one not long ago (I am twenty). But I know that there are something that will help your teen become a better person. First, create an enivorment that promotes communication. When your teen talks to you, listen. They are not talking for advice, they are talking to have someone listen to them. Be open when they talk about things that may uncomfortable, like sex. If they bring something like that, do not be judgmental, be informative. I think as it goes for what they can wear, what they can watch, it really depends on the child. For example, my mother let me wear and watch what I want since i was thirteen but I was also very mature. If you are unsure about a movie for example, watch it with your child. If they are unsure about certain content, then explain it with them, or research it together. Also, make sure the child has responsibilities. School should come first, but then they should be responsible for chores and they need to havfe guidelines. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I have an 11yr old son & 5yr old daug., & yes there are limits & reposibilities. My son does dishes, take out garbage, & clean his area which consists of every part of the apartment. You have to have rules or they will run over you. My son started washing dishes in the fall of last year, & he's been taking out the garbarge since he was about 6. I give him responsibilities based on how fast he mature in a area & based on what he says he's ready for. Like cooking I was cooking chicken, fries, bacon, hotdogs, walking to & from school by myself & I was a latch key kid, I was washing dishes, & going to the laundry, when I was his age & I was doing these things without any help but I was a little more mature than he my son is. I think he does pretty well because he lets me know when he's ready for new responsibilities& we gradually move him toward his goals together! I allow him his opinion but I have the last say, I try not to be like my mother because I didn't like all of her rules nor did I agree with them, so somethings I stand by & because I am the parent now I make my own rules. As for the clothes he wears I don't have a problem with his clothes except for wearing hoodies like the thugs or star do which looks like he's up to no good like the gangs & the rappers, so I have to conctantly be on him about the hoodies because I don't want him to be a target for any reason, otherwise what my children wear is not a big issue right now until my daughter gets older. R Rated movies like scarey movies is ok but not sex movies if there may be one seen that show kissing & leading to sex that is one thing but a entire movie of sex is totally out of the question & any movie with a lot of cursing is not exceptable. Just think your children are subjected too the world on a day to day basis & you can't be everywhere but they have to live by your rules & abide by them or there should be punishments. I don't let my son do alot of hanging out in the neighborhood because I really don't know anyone but I don't keep him trapped in & for the most part I know the block he be on & have met one of the parents that he plays with on a regular, so you have to familiarize yourself with your chldrens friends & everything that they do. You have to be one step ahead of them, think like they do you were a kid once & nothing has changed, stay on them they will appreciate it once their older I did!!! Oh yeah try being there parent & not there friend!!!!!

Answer 5

Well honestly that is the million dollar question isn't it. I have a teen daughter and son quickly approaching. I have taken a parenting class called Love and Logic and honestly it made alot of sense, best advice it depends on your morals and your child's maturity level. Take my daughter I refuse to let her wear revealing clothes but I have let her get her nose pierced and her ears several times. As far as movies that like I said is what you feel is best for you kids. Chores, yes all kids need chores I'm sorry if some don't agree with me but if you let your kids sit around like lumps and wait on them hand and foot they will not feel valued as a vital part of your household one and two they will never learn to become self sufficient and move out on their own.

Answer 6

I say, don't let ur guard down and get them involved in sports they will do as they want no matter how you love them or feel you can't trust them.I'm a mother of 3 girls 20,18,16 and i've been divorced from their father for 13 years and it's been tough!My oldest didn't end up graduating but is a good kid and never been in trouble.My 18 was a senior in high school she ended up pregnant i took her out and till she had my grandaughter sighned her back up and she's pregnant with my grandson by the same dad.But I trusted her as she swore she was a virgin and now shes a dropout with 2 kids.I knew better w/my 16 yr old shes on the shot.But I've done the best I could do with working and taking care of my family.Good luck!!!!!!

Answer 7

Good questions , in my opion alot off kids are getting the wrong type of parenting these days its hard ofcource but the outcome is much harder if we dont try and instill good values in our kids so to answer your questions .They can hang with there freinds if i know there parents and aprove .ofcource that only tells you so much but its lettting your child know your going to be active and question there choices in who they pick as freinds.they have a curfew i think a good time is 13-15yrs 10pm 16-18yrs 12-1230 .i have to watch what they wear its harder for girls but no short sqirts or shorts a lil tummy showing is ok .i try to stay away from gang related atire but it depends on the area you leave in .rated r movies are a no no you cant go anywear without sex being thrown in your face i cant stop what the see out in public but i have a say so in tv and movies i just think sometimes watching those r movies sometimes just adds to they wants and desires and whatever i can do to slow it down or help ill try.as far as chores go they maintain there room and have three big chores they have to do befor the weeks end in order to have fun on the weekends and that is 2loads of laundry 2stacks of dishes and depending on the age one night of cooking dinner nothing big just a simple meal ofcourse this would change depending on the age of the teens but that is what i do any more advice feel free to ask.

Answer 8

Yes my teenagers, boy and girl plus 11 years old boy do house chores. How else are they going to learn and know about life's skills. I started off by doing things around them so they can watch and learn. I made sure the things they see are positive things because children's mind are still forming and any negative impact is unhealthy to their well being. When children can do things for themselves they are more confident, positive in their behavior,are generally happy with their life and in harmony with the world around them.

Their clothes are pressed and in order in their ward ropes, their shoes are polished to a shine, they are clean. They have suitable clothing for all occasions. They don't watch rubbish on TV, they don't have the time for that. They are very busy with homework, writing stories poems, reading, and any other things that teenagers and children like to do.I have been involve more as they were younger but as they grow I can move slowly away and only intervined when they need me or when they need to be reminded gently that they are going beyond their limits. They enjoy outdoor activities, going out with friends occasionally, family outings to instill in them about social etiquette. Hope this gives you the idea and good luck.

Answer 9

As teens, my kids did not get an allowance. They lived in my house, ate my food and used my electricity so their part was to do the chores I had assigned. I gave them money only when they had a function: going to the movies, going skating, etc. Now how often they attended functions and went out with friends was based on if their chores were complete, homework had been done without prodding & coaxing, and how well their attitudes were during the week. On school nights they are to be home by 9:00 and on the weekends the older one is home by midnight and the younger one is home by 10:00. I do evaluate each situation incase an adjustment needs to be made based on the activity. Believe me, if they come home late one time that is it for one month. I have two girls so yes clothes were monitired. Anything too tight and too revealing was not allowed, only two piercings per ear, no nose ring, tongue piercings, belly button piercings and no tattoos and etc. My youngest is fascinated by the punk/goth thing and some of it is okay but she is not allowed to dress all in black unless she is attending my funeral and certain bands are not allowed to be listened to. I try to give them the necessary room to grow, mature and explore but do set boundries. It is easier to let the run wild and not teach them morals, repsect and self appreciation than to enforce these on them. Don't do it and you can spend later years visiting them in prison or the graveyard.

Answer 10

i think it important kids have rules and chores around the house to teach them responsibility from a early age and also put a time on when they have to be in but would let a 16 year old watch a 18 year old film for example. its about give and take i guess but they gotta know whos boss and how far to go!