Why Am I Still Fantasizing About Death?

Question

Right now my life is not a total rollercoasting piece of living hell...I've found a bright patch. Why is it that I still find comfort in death? I'm not all crazy suicidal or anything like I have been in the past, but I do find comfort in fantasizing about acquiring a fatal disease and given six weeks to live or some scenario like that. Suicidal thoughts have been with me for 3 decades, everyday, will they ever end? Do others feel this way? Thanks, you guys are bros.. :)

Answer 1

"Our two minds .... One is an act of the emotional
mind, the other of the rational mind. In a very real
sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that
feels" (Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence,
Bloomsbury Publishing, London, 1996, page 8). This
rational mind is also called the faculty of logic and
reason.

The Upanishads say that these two minds are opposite
in nature. Modern psychologist also have observed it, but
they are not very sure about it:

"At the same time, reason sometimes clearly seems to
come into conflict with some desires (even while not
being in conflict with others) giving us the impression
that reason is separate from emotion".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reason

The emotional mind is connected with suicidal thoughts.
Your emotional mind is working more dominantly than
your rational mind. But it has given some rare qualities
or mental traits for you. Check this list for your self:

In Upanishads, Chitta is the component connected with
intuition and emotion. Modern psychologists say that
passions have the same limitations of senses as they
tend toward immediate emotional discharge. Chitta is
the quick acting component of the mind which can be
termed as leftist or negative thinking part. It is
called negative because some psychologists felt that it
separates the received information into pieces,
contains unintentional and contradictory ideas, and
lacks internal organisation, inner consistency, and
concrete solutions. On the contrary, some philosophers
thought that this is the 'idealistic view' of thinking
about a problem. Chitta is connected with instincts,
urges, impulses, desires, imagination, sentiments,
passions, caring, pleasure, exploration, unconventional
ideas, moods, insight, superstitions, immodesty,
analysis of details, concern about particular features,
capacity to find novel relationships, unrestrained
expressions connected with body or mind, molding of
past experiences into new constellations of meanings,
creation of artistic, poetic and musical works and the
like. Seeing a good work of painting or listening to
music of one's liking will set waves of emotion in
Chitta. It helps us to imagine things in new ways. It
is known that lighter side of life like fun may contain
silly and ridiculous situations. We know that it is not
harmful in any way.

Humans are the highest in creation. The lower beings
also have souls like ours. After birth through many
lower level beings, this highest human life was given
to us. Every thing in creation has purpose because
Infinite Divinity has created them. In the years to come,
you will learn how your dominantly working emotional
mind can help in a unique way. You will be surprized!

Answer 2

It's nice to know that you've still been able to find some bright patches.
If you think that the ultimate turn-on is fantacizing about death, man, you haven't tried fantacizing about REALLY LIVING.
Dying is only the last part of a process and I agree, it can be beautiful. I say this because I've have a near-death experience when I was much younger and it was a very pleasant experience. It also made me aware of the very things that made my life so darn wonderful.
Try a 20 minute relaxation during which you think about all those things that you love about life and the people you admire and hold dear. Then take them along with you on a guided imagery of the most splendiferous scenic tour--any place you want to be and can imagine.
Use every possible prop to make the scenery real.
On this tour, everything is available for your use to enhance the experience. If you want to energize yourself, I'd suggest trying to Not just fantacize LIVING...I'D LIVE !!!

Answer 3

Maybe it's more of a quiet escape from whatever is bothering you, without the drama of a suicide and the guilt trips it leaves for other people. Suicide is very cruel to the living. However, wanting to "not be there" through a guilt-free death like the fatal disease you fantasize about isn't the same as wanting to kill yourself. Even so, most people dream of a better life, not death. You should see a professional. Good luck.

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with fantasizing about death. It's just simple thoughts, and as long as there are no plans of suicide, it is perfectly alright. I dream of coming down with cancer sometimes and then writing one last paper that changes my best friend's life so that her parents finally care about her. *laughs* Like that will ever happen. But don't worry about it. As for any suicidal thoughts you may have, just look at the bright side of things and remind yourself you still have a life and hope.

Answer 5

They may never totally go away, the difference is in how they effect you, wanting to act on these things and still having a part of you that was such a crutch in the past is different, for example i cut, the urge is still there, but i don't actually cut any more, i find other things to do, my thoughts about death are just a reminder to me of someplace that i never want to be again

Answer 6

This is normal, believe it a lot of people do become fixated & it does pass. Its only when we become obsessed to the point of acting on it. Like with any mental health issue if concerned or in doubt check it out. Remember though it may just be imagination, so dont be harsh on yourself unless you feel despondent then get help. Good luck.

Answer 7

any sort of depression can be tide over by faith in GOD and sincere prayer.

Your prayer is from your heart. Further You must have to understood the fact that God is present in our heart. This can be realised in meditation. Further we are the creation of our own destiny. As per Hindu sacred religion, we carry all good and bad deeds life after life. There is no end unless we pray for unification of self with the divineliness.
Hence there is always a possible way to complete mergence with God in this life by a simple and wonderful meditation

Answer 8

It is possible that you have a chemical imbalance which psychiatric medication would help.