What's So Wrong With A 15 year old girl being with a 19 year old guy?

Question

Ok I'm 19 and my future wife is 15 and I don't understand why people think that's wrong? Ok I haven't had sex with her and it would be ok when she turns 16 (That's the law in Florida) but I could careless about sex! I love her with all my heart and soul and sex isn't what love is all about. She has a really racist Father and Sister's who hate me. I'm the only positive support she has in her life. Ok I'm the only one who cares if she goes to school or not, eats and etc. I will and do everything for her, but people seem to think it's wrong for me to be with her.Why is it so wrong for me to be with the person I love even if she is four years younger then me? There aren't any laws saying that we can't be together but everyone I talk to gives me the same Idiotic answer "Oh she's to young to know what love is." But does love have an age. So old people can love but young people cannot. It was ok in our parent's generation but not ok in ours. Why are older people such hypocrites.

I've Known Her, her whole life,and she is the most kind caring person in the world, who cannot do anything wrong,she can forgive any mistake no matter how large and that's why I love her

I'm the only positive thing in her life since her mother died.

Answer 1

You sound really mature for 19 and very much in love. I am one of those "older' people who went through something similiar many years ago. I am 3 yrs and 2 months older then my husband who I met a long time ago (we were in H.S.). We are still very much in love even though everyone hated the idea of us being together so many years ago. Everyone has been cool with it for years now but even if someone did have a problem with it-oh well it's not their lives so it is really none of their business If someone has a problem with your relationship, remember. it's Their problem,not yours. Don't back down on the love of your life just because others don't approve or like it. We didn't and soooooo many people are envious of our wonderful relationship after soooooooo many years. I wish the same for both of you!!!!

Answer 2

I can tell you that I would not let my 15 year old be with a 19 year old guy. There's just a huge age difference there. You are done with high school - she is just in her first or second year. You are going to be ready to settle down LONG before she is done with her schooling.

You say you are not interested in sex - but in the next sentence you're practically counting the days until it will be legal. Parents almost NEVER believe teenagers are not interested in sex. Your hormones are raging. And 15 is NO AGE to have a baby. And - unless you DON'T have sex - there is a chance that a baby will come along. And then the two of you will be in a position of having to make a decision about raising a baby, giving a baby away or killing a baby. Which would you choose? Would you agree on the choice? 15 is very young to make a decision like that. And - NOT having sex is the only way to make SURE a girl does not get pregnant and have to choose one of those things. None of them are very appealing. Don't you agree?

You talk about how you are the only positive support for this girl - and how you care if she goes to school or not - or eats. And that you'll do everything for her. Seems to me - a 19 year old girl would be able to do these things for herself. Is that why you are with a 15 year old? You want the control? I'll tell you - that is probably what her parents are thinking. Relationships are not about one person taking care of the other. They are about each of the people reaching out and bringing something to the relationship. You said over and over again that you love her - but you never said WHY. What does this woman give to you - other than the chance to be the "big man" and take care of her? Relationships should be on equal footing.

Love doesn't have to have an age. And when she's 19 and you're 23 - their probably won't be much said about it. But she's just 15 - and you are legal to vote and old enough to be drafted - and play the lotto - and all of that. There's just too much of a difference in your ages for her parents to accept it.

Maybe - if you talk to her parents - you will win their respect. But I do understand their way of thinking. They want what's best for their daughter, and because you are so much older - with a different lifestyle - they don't think that's you.

Good luck.

Answer 3

It sounds like there are more problems with the family than just your age, since you stated that you are the only positive support in her life.

The trouble with a 15 year old girl is that she is simply not matured enough to really understand what she needs out of life. It's great that you're holding and guiding her and making her go to school and eat, but the chances of a marriage undertaken at age 16 lasting are minute. That is because as people get older, they develop their interests and you might discover that her love was more dependency on your support than actual adult independent love. Unfortunately, the worse her family treats her the more she needs your support, and that will drive her to marriage as a form of escape from the problems of living at home. That is really not an adult decision but one of desperation.

Maybe you can put marriage off until after you're both finished college or trade school and both have your careers established. You can still help her to gain independence from her unhelpful family without resorting to eloping at such a young age... think about your options and maybe get some counseling. Then the relationship is a great deal more likely to last for years to come.

Answer 4

I said the same thing before when I was with a girl for a year. She was two years younger. The problem is that relationships that last more than 20 years usually begin when the partners are both past high school. It's just too hard for the relationship to truly grow when everyone around you says that the relationship won't work. If you're the only one who cares about her, don't you think that's a bigger problem in her life than you two being together? Other people don't care about passion or feelings. They only care about what is "proper" and mainstream. You can try to fight it, but it is a fight that doesn't end.

Answer 5

Under the law, your girlfriend is still technically a legal accessory to her parents (no matter how negligent they may be) and their consent is still required on many major actions she may take (marriage, financial matters, etc)

This is all because it is a scientific fact that the brain of a 15 year old still has a way to go before it is fully developed, and from my personal experience, a 15 year old girl (especially one who is in love) is just not prepared to make a decision as large as marriage.

I think it is great that you two love each other, if that love can last 3 more years of her adolesence (a true test of love if I've ever seen one), then go on right ahead and get married.

Answer 6

Thats not bad at all i know some one who was 24 that was dating a 16 year old and they ended up getting married years later.

Theres abosoloutely nothing wrong, your 19 your still a teen.
People are just ignorant.
AGE IS JUST A NUMBER!
As long as your not there for the sex, in the old days people got married at 15, and how can a 15 year old not know love, SHE DOES!
Don't listen to people, listen to your heart

Answer 7

It might turn out OK. You never know. But, remember what you were like at 15 years old, the crushes you had and how it seemed like true love at the time. That's what her mind is like right now. How long have you been together now? Make sure you date 2-4 years before getting married. You'll know whether you can stand the test of time. It won't be easy, but nothing worth it ever is. Good luck

Answer 8

there is not anything wrong with it. i think people just do not want young people to feel that strongly about each other. and they are probably worried about the stereo type of all teenage boys wanting only sex. if the two of you are realy in love then you should be able to be strong thru all of the crap everone will say. i do recomend waiting untill she is out of school until you do any talking about marriage or children if that is where the relationship is headed though. if the feeling are as strong as you say then they will still be there in 2 or three years.

Answer 9

Ok well first of all your 19 that is a BIG difference for her being 15. She is TOO young for you and your TOO old for her. I mean come on she is not even 18 years old she is still living with her parents and they make decisions for her STILL!!.....if you really love her then you will wait for her. I know how you feel because i loved someone who was older then me but it is wrong. To you it may seem like a relationship because you love her. But to other's it may seem like all you want is SEX!! do you get what im saying..?...im just saying if you love her like you say you do....YOU WILL WAIT FOR HER...!!

Answer 10

I would have to say that if it is how you say it is then there is nothing wrong with it, but if you are just waiting for the law to say it is okay to sleep with her then you might need to reevaluate the basis which you claim your relationship is built on. My guess is you are just waiting for the physical part of the relationship to be legally okay before you do have sex with her and you do have to realize that she is just 15. Some people will say given certain circumstances she might be more mature then her age but I would be very careful as to what you do.