How do I tell my dad.....?

Question

That I would rather have another father figure in my life to walk me down when I get married??? I have been married before and he walked me down then. I don't want to upset my dad but there is another man who has treated me like his own from day one and has welcomed me and my children into his family.


I don't want to do each on one arm or half and half....I want just him and no one else...HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!

Ok..let me clarify..I did not know my dad until I was 12...we talk maybe once a year..I am not close to my father at all..he is too busy working and hunting or fishing. I am not trying to be a ***** but....

Answer 1

YOU choose who you want to walk you down the aisle.

If you want the person who was your father figure, then choose that person.

Answer 2

I don't think this is a very confusing dilema, rather than one you're making to be confusing. Your father is your father - end of story. Grow up and stop with the sob story "oh i didn't know him till I was 12, he's too busy to tuck me in". You're an adult, act like it. I understand that there may be another 'father figure' in your life, but you've already got a Dad. You do what you wish, but you will absolutely break your father's heart. Even if you arn't close. He will take it as your not appreciating him, and thinking that he is expendable, that there is someone else you would rather have as a father. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if your father didn't want to go to your wedding. You will be doing yourself, your family and him a huge injustice. I have no idea if your parents are still together or what not, as you did not mention your Mom, but why don't you start with her. If they are divorced, not sure what you should do. Really give it some thought seriously. I'd say your Dad, or walk on your own.

Answer 3

I think it's okay for you to have another man walk you down the aisle, especially if you love him and you feel like you are closest to him. Since your father walked you down the aisle already, tell him you want so-and-so to do it this time because you want to thank him for all he's done and let him know you care... if your father (who wasn't even around for the first 12 years of your life) doesn't understand that, then he will eventually get over it... if he doesn't, well, his loss.... Just explain it to him as nicely as possible so that his feeling won't be hurt... if he isn't totally selfish he should understand how you feel...

Answer 4

I think you need to answer one question...how would you feel if your father pulled away from you because of this? If you are ok with that, seriously, then I think you should sit him down and talk to him. BUT if you aren't ready for something like that, and I strongly feel that could happen, then if I were you I would consider some other way to honor that special man you want to walk you down the aisle. Perhaps a special dance with some special intro?

If you are willing to risk alienating your birth dad, I would tell him how you were so happy he gave you away the first time, but how so and so has also been an important role in your life and you would like him to do it this time. I still feel it is a risk, as I can't see many men being ok with this.

Just consider the big picture and see what makes the most sense for you in your entire life, not just for a few minutes out of it. Best of luck!

Answer 5

I would be afraid to do this. When I got married many years ago my biological father stopped speaking to me because he thought he was the only one who had to right to walk me down the aisle. He was not in my life till I was 15 years old. Left when I was 6 mos. My stepdad aka daddy came into my life when I was 1. I suggested they both walk me down but sperm donar said no. I have often thought if I were put in a situation where I had gotten married a second time who would walk me down the aisle cuz dad had done it and it would be my oldest child who would give me away. Just a suggestion!!! He is your dad and whether he spends alot of time with you or not you should try your best to see how he feels. If it bothers him that badly then maybe you could have a special dance with your father figure and just walk your self down the aisle or your child escort you down.

Answer 6

My parents got divorced when I was 2. My mom got remarried to a great guy when I was 14, and he took me in like a daughter since day one too. The relationship with my real father was sketchy at best. When I announced I was getting married, my real father wanted offered to walk me down the aisle and I tried my best and politely decline it. My father still came--that was 12 years ago--but we haven't really spoken since then.

The bottom line is, it's your wedding. You need to do it your way. If your father doesn't understand, it's his problem.

Answer 7

I think that who ever that you feel the closest to then have them walk you down the aisle. If you want the other man to do it just explain it to your father. He should understand and if he doesn't then he is kind of childish. It is your wedding and he should be happy with whatever you decide. By the way Congrats on the engagement.

Answer 8

another suggestion here
ask your MOTHER to do the honours - I imagine that she ahs been around for you ALL the time; OR dont have anyone walk with you;
you have after all done it all before
HOWEVER as others have said """ IT is YOUR day - do what you want"" BEST WISHES
something more to think about - how much emphasis are you putting on the ""wedding"' in realtion to the marriage
wedding === a few hours
marriage----- meant to be life time

Answer 9

Simply tell him how you feel. It appears that you all are not that close so he should not have a problem not walking you down the isle

Answer 10

that's hard, just explain he has already done it once, and that u would like to have someone else do it this time, it is not as important i feel as the first one, and he has done that. I have been married 2 times and only asked for mine to do it the 2nd time.