i know this is pretty immature, but issues with fiance...?

Question

alright.. i realize i could be reverting to middle school days, but i'm rather upset with my fiance right now, and need some advice.
background: we've been together for two years. we've had our share of fights, but we're always able to talk it out, especially since i absolutely adore him, and can't stay mad at him for too long
today, we were at dinner in the cafeteria (we're in college) and he told a dumb joke from the movie Airplane, trying to make me realize how funny the movie is, even though he knows i don't like it. so i sarcastically said.. 'ha.. haha.. haha.. Ha.' and then he looked at me and told me i was fired. (meaning, fired as his fiance) now, i know he was kidding, but that kind of stuff bothers me a lot. and so i just gave him a look, and jokingly said that he should probably apologize or i'd be mad at him for a day. so he looks at his watch, says 'it's 5:18. i'll see you tomm night.' and now i'm a little upset with him. do i stick out the day, or talk to him about it?

Answer 1

You need to talk to him. After all, you said you adore him so much. You probably hurt him a little bit with your sarcastic comment. He obviously likes the movie Airplane, and it's something important to him. He was trying to show you a little bit more about him and trying to get you to understand a little more about what he thinks is funny. His comment was on the same level that yours was on. He figured that if he said that you were "fired" that you would understand due to the fact that you just made a sarcastic comment right before that. You probalby hurt him more than he will let you know.

You should call him up and apologize for your best and let him know that he hurt you when he didn't meant to as well. It was a silly thing, yes. But you need to talk to him before it gets bigger. Also, ask yourself why something like that bothers you. Are you afraid he WOULD leave you? That is an issue you should talk to him about as well.

Answer 2

I don't think that you are the one that is the immature one here. He knows that you don't care for the movie, he seems to be trying your patience for some reason. Is he abusive in other aspects of the relationship. If he is run the other way! It will only get worse.

Does he do this often, Irritate you on purpose? You need to set limits as to what you will accept for "fun" otherwise he will continue to irritate you and you will begin to resent it over the years. How will your children handle this attitude? Will they emulate it? Be crushed by it?

Humor is fun when all enjoy the joke but when your intended purposely tries your patience it isn't something that is enjoyable by both sides.

Stick out the day and maybe even more- are midterms coming up? Finals? Be busy with other stuff for awhile. Let him know you are offended.

I've been married for +30 years to my second husband. My first was an abuser and I stuck around for about 1 year with him.

Answer 3

Ahh, sometimes truth is often spoken in jest. It sounds like you both need to clear the air about a few things, namely this immature way of dealing with how you talk to each other. It is never a good idea to "fire" ones' fiance, whether in jest or in anger. Words like that can cut right to the heart. And, sometimes, there is an element of truth in those words. Obviously, you were hurt by what he said!
I wouldn't wait until tomorrow night to talk to him. Ask him why he insists on trying so hard to make you like something you don't and never will. Just because he likes the movie Airplane doesn't mean that you have to like. You are allowed to have differences of opinions, even when you are engaged and married.
It is when one of the partners uses threats, such as he did, that tells you something isn't right with your relationship and you need to fix it.
Go in with an open mind and stay cool headed. That way you'll be more likely to work things out. I wish you both lots of luck and a happy future together.

Answer 4

I laughed through the end of your story. My fiance and I are just like that. That is what keeps us together. You know, those smarta$$ comments you make to each other. It is like we do it to see if we can make the other one laugh. Because we know deep down inside that we don't really mean any of those "mean" things. They are just funny little comments. It is good to know that other people do the same thing. You just can't let it get to you even if you are in a bad mood. If the other person "really" does get aggravated they should let you know and that is when you let up. But for the most part, just enjoy the goofy little comments and get on with life. Because when it is all said and done, you two are the only ones that will be there for each other in the end.

Answer 5

Talk to him about it!!!!

I'd avoid giving ultimatums like saying you'll be mad for a day. It's much more sensible to state you're mad and explain why. That's a more mature response that gives you both the opportunity to resolve the problem through discussion, rather than seeking to punish him with a fixed penalty.

It does sound like your fiance needs to grow up a bit and learn to appreciate you and your differences. The best way to help him to do that is to pull him up when he bugs you, and explain what your problem is. You're setting out in a partnership for life and if you don't iron out these bumps now they'll only get worse. I'd also be asking him if he's up for that grown-up commitment or if he's going to 'fire' you everytime he disagree with you!

Good luck!

Answer 6

Can you say "hypersensitive". If you're going to be that uptight every time he makes a comment, you guys might want to consider looking elsewhere. If this is "normal" for you two, then you are in for a lot of long nights (and a pretty short marriage) if you stay together. Learn to get over the small stuff or you're doomed!!

Answer 7

I think that if you really want to teach him a lesson then you should stick out the day but if you decide that it will bother you even more. I think you might want to talk to him about it because he needs to know how this makes you feel. Besides you will have many more times to teach him a lesson once you two are married but now I think he needs to know for your sake and his too.

Answer 8

U should sit him down when u see him next time and tell him exactly how u feel. I don't think he took you serious when u said that he should apologise as he was telling a joke. Once he realises that he actually upset u i'm sure he will apologise. Good luck to both of u

Answer 9

Well, you kind of started that one by being sarcastic. He was just talking about something that he likes. He said something back and you expected him to apologize. Us females always want to be right but we aren't always. Just forget about it and move on with your relationship.

I am always right!!!
You should be too!!!

Answer 10

Shirley, you must be joking.


ANYONE that doesn't think "Airplane!" is funny really isn't worth marrying. Which joke from that movie did you not get? Maybe I could explain to you why it's funny.