should i speak out about suicidal thoughts to family?

Question

i feel dreadfull and need support i have come out about depression but not gone into full detail, i am worried about upsetting my mum even more, but i cant live like this no longer, i am worried that i wont get the help and support i need and also it wil upset people

i have felt dreadfull for years and there are few other skeletons i have not talked about either which coulod cause distress to my mother.

my mother and father are divorced and i dont have much to do with him but my mum has already said she wants to get him in on the situation and let him take some of the burden.

i am worried about there reaction, maybe i need to do this though to get the help i need. once and for all.

any advice anyone?

Answer 1

Hello again, I answered your other question too. I wouldn't share anything with your family before you have talked to your counsellor/vicar/priest. I would think it best to speak to someone who isn't close to you. Once words are spoken they cannot be undone and you may hurt them. Please see your doc.

Answer 2

yes

I did. Right decision.

nothing galvanises support quite like the S word - and not just support, also reappraisal - people suddenly have to think about their own role in your life, and how they affected it.

But really, the best person to say this to is your GP. That is your gateway to the help you need.

What you're looking for is the right combination of pills and therapy for you.

Don't be resistant to meds - inform yourself and make sure the doc knows you want to be in control of what you take and for how long. Personally I'm a prozac guy (fluoxetine) and I'm now down to half the smallest dose that the pharmacies sell. At that level it almost has no effect. But I was taking eight times as much at one point. It was necessary, and I didn't go mad or turn into an axe-murderer.

It did take a couple of weeks to kick in though, and during that time I felt sick as a parrot.

Therapy is the long term answer. I'm not a big fan of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - you're not scared of spiders and you're not obsessive compulsive - you need grown up therapy of the trad sort - shallow-end psychodynamic was good for me.

those are the things that got me through - that and coming clean with my family and writing some really bad poetry.

Good luck

By the way, I think they're going to rename this site Yahoo!Depressives cos there's so many of us on here...

Answer 3

I suppose it depends on how close you are to your family and how you expect them to react. I could never tell my parents anything and when i had a serious problem it was a close friend i turned to, however she quickly turned and told others so it quickly spiralled and i found myself having to go through endless conversations with strangers and family explaining in great detail my situation.

do you have someone you feel comfortable talking to in confidence like a close friend or family member, otherwise you could try your doctor or a helpline like samaritans. The first step to getting over this is talking about it. and getting some help with your feelings I once felt the same as you and i only felt better once i had talked enough about it to accept what ihad been through and find a way to deal with it.

everyone has their own way, but remember you don't have to be alone, simply talking on here to others may be of slight comfort so don't hide away. I am a strong believer anyway that problems and worries only make good families stronger. Do what you feel comfortable with but families should be there for each other so maybe give them a chance to help you.
I hope you find the strength to share your problems with someone, i'm sure it will relieve some of the pressure from your shoulders
take care

Answer 4

Its important that you tell someone how you feel. That could be your GP or a friend or family. Thats up to you but you've started the ball rolling by asking this question. Now other people know how terrible you feel and hopefully the answers you get will be positive. Its a really brave question to have put out there so please find the same courage to tell someone you trust. If you live in the UK then there are a couple of numbers you should know when you need to talk to someone but no-one is around.
Samaritans 08457 909090
Breathing Space 0800 838587
I hope you are able to get some help to work through things, You'll be in my prayers in any case x

Answer 5

Speaking as someone who has had to come to terms with having a Terminal Illness, I would suggest going to your GP rather than talking to your family first.

While your family no doubt love you very much, sometimes its best to see a professional.
The Doctor can refer you to counsellors or a Psychoanalyst who is fully trained to help you.
Perhaps choose 1 family member who you think would be understanding and talk to them about the way you feel.

I always thought that 'Shrinks' were basically a waste of space that just asked what you wanted and how you felt and nothing else. Now I know that they are very very good at what they do and can help you!

Get help before it all gets too much. I got very close to suicide at first until a friend gave me this same advice, Please use it!

If nothing else, there are freephone numbers that you could just talk to somebody on. The Samaritans is just one, they are there to try and help even if it's only to LISTEN to your problems. You never know, perhaps talking about it in detail will relieve some of the intense feelings you have!

Good luck with everything and hopefully you'll see that you have much more to live for than you have to die for!

:~}

Answer 6

I totally empathise with the way you are feeling and thining because I was just like this last year. Afraid to talk about it to anyone for tfear of them thinking your a "nutter" or whatever. Indeed when you do eventually talk to those who love you about it, things can - to be absolutely honest- get slightly worse before they get better because.... especially if they do consider themselves to be very close to you.... they feel guilty, unloved and -partly- responsible for the way you are feeling.

My advice is to seek medical help FIRST. Go to see your doctor who will decide on the best approach of either talking or drug therapy. For my part my doctor put me on a course of SSRI's which have worked wonders for me. In fact it's only looking back from the point of good health that I can fully realise just how sick I was.

Coming to the self realisation that you do have a problem is a ginat leap forwards- I was in denial and it was only an astute doctor who realised I had a problem when I was seeing him for something else who picked up my VERY SERIOUS problem. Don't be like I was and think that you can "be strong" and work your way through it alone. Talk to someone, get help and seek support wherever you can. If your family truly love you they will - given time- understand and rally to your cause.

Answer 7

Yes of course you should, she is your mum and regardless of your age she will always love you and want to protect you. I understand that you have a fear of upsetting other people but you must realise that you cannot contemplate suicide because of this. You are ill. plain and simple. You cannot deal with the severity of your depression by yourself, your first port of call should be your GP, who will refer you to a relevant mental health team who will also provide you and your family with support services which are available to suit your needs. Your mum would be more devastated if you were to commit suicide, she would wonder why you did it, why did'nt you speak to her, it would break her heart to think that you felt there was no way out. Please don't suffer in silence and on your own, you need to get better, I promise there is support out there for you, but no one can help unless you help yourself. Dont worry about other peoples reactions, if you thought about other peoples opinions everytime you did something, where would you be? Talk to your mum if you still feel a little scared go to your GP. I hope you get better soon.

Answer 8

i'm no longer able to assume your mom might say that understanding what you went via! there is not any approach you are going to be a humiliation - you carried out your rattling friendly regardless of being ill, you nonetheless tried at a time numerous distinctive persons might have maximum ordinarily the two given up or did no longer try as plenty. now no longer lots of persons have that kind of rigidity while they may well be these days pointed out with ANY condition, enable on my very very own one that motives extreme actual suffering. which you will desire to commonly attempt back with the A-stages as you have stated you're finding to, it isn't the top of the international and that i wish your mom realizes that. it rather is unfair if her to place that kind of rigidity and guilt on you despite if it wasn't your fault. yet hun, suicide isn't guard it. that's an eternal answer to a non everlasting concern - issues can consistently get greater effective, no rely how risky they seem now i've got been there. i've got tried a pair of circumstances to this element and actual.. It makes you assume worse in case you don't prevail. have you ever had a historic previous of those sort of concepts, or are they a sparkling ingredient? in case you ever choose all people to talk to approximately all this, who knows it, which you've gotten the skill to message me. many times a guy or woman you do no longer recognize is the large ingredient in terms of those concepts; a stranger could desire to no longer get as emotional as they do no longer choose any inner maximum ties with you and could supply you greater independent advice. i wish you will have the skill to be ok besides the actuality that, even regardless of the indisputable fact which you do no longer take me up on the furnish of conversing.

Answer 9

If this is very hard for you these feelings your having I say be honest whatever it is get it out in the open. Speak to your parents if you feel more confortable with your mom tell her. And have her tell your dad. After that if your still having great trouble try to seek some form of therapy. I have a child and I would want my child to come to me if they feel they are struggling with something so bad that they have thoughts of ending it all. Talk it over with her she can advise you and help you make mends with your father.

Answer 10

You really need to talk to someone about this. Do you have a person that you trust? How about a priest or a teacher or counselor? Listen, if need be , you can go the E.R. of a hospital and tell them you are suicidal. They should be able to help you. Life can be so beautiful..Once you get your depression under control you'll see. Don't hurt yourself. It is so not worth it. Please talk to a professional of some sort. Good luck to you and God Bless you.

Answer 11

Well personally i wouldnt tell your family. I think getting family involved makes it a lot worse and people automatically do everything against ur wishes because they find it hard to understand you. When they dnt understand it makes u feel even more like crap, ive learnt from experience. I think u shud see a counsellor and if ur mum asks how u are jus say uv been better and ur on the mend. What the point in tellin her because it isnt gunna help. gud Luck x