before we met for a few months but he says it wasn't serious with her as my sister is a single mother and that my ex can't raise a child that's not his. He says he loves me and want us to get married but I just can't trust him now as I don't know who he was thinking of when we were in bed together.Me or my sister? Plus It took him so long to tell me the truth as my sister had told me a month after I started dating him that they slept together but my ex kept denying it. Apart from that he is a good man, never mistreated me in any way throughout our relationship.Should i go back with him or just forget him? Please help me.
2007-03-11 11:20:48 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First of all (I realize this is going to sound harsh, but I feel it necessary that you at least acknowledge this possiblity), it will never be the same, because in the back of your mind you will always feel like you were his second choice. Secondly, it's pretty much unwritten code that if you date a girl, or sleep with her, or she has feelings for you (emotional or sexual), you can NEVER date her sister. The fact that he lied to you about it is even worse. What else has he lied to you about? You can't really say, "Apart from that he is a good man and never mistreated me," because he mistreated you in the worst way possible: he took advantage of your trust. It is one thing to make a mistake, it is quite another to try and cover that mistake up, rather than admit that you were wrong. Forget him... he's a waste of your time.
2007-03-11 11:27:17 · answer #1 · answered by Godfather76 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has already mistreated you if he slept with your sister. Don't forget that.
Sex is a very personal intimate part of a relationship, and if he can give it away so easily to just anyone, I have serious problems with it.
Require that he or the 2 of you attend counseling for a while, do not commit to marry someone who cannot be faithful to you sexually, until they have obtained help and you see it is actually working.
You deserve a husband who respects you and doesn't go giving things like that away.
2007-03-11 11:25:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him behind. He lied to you for so long about some thing that happened in the past so how can you trust him, you are in two mind when you two are in the bed room. You should enjoy the bedroom action and not worry every time you are there. I would forget him and move on to some one who is not going to lie to you and also treat you right. You need trust in a relationship and you just dont have it with him.
2007-03-11 11:52:18 · answer #3 · answered by Pinkflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he never told you because he was worried that it would make you want to end things. Tricky one. You must feel really weird at moment. If you still love him and this was his only 'mistake' - (to not be honest with you or the fact he went out with your sister?) and you feel that you could move on then maybe you should give it another go. If you think that you'll always have it in the back of your mind, as hard as it may be, maybe you should just continue to be apart from him. Good luck x
2007-03-11 12:04:55 · answer #4 · answered by keeley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget it. Guys like that dont change. He wasn't honest from the beginning and he even lied to you when you already knew. He may never have mistreated you, but its only a matter of time. He has some deep rooted issues and you don't want to be the one to carry his crap in the future. Be strong and move on...there are plenty of great guys out there that will treat you like a princess and not bang your sister.
2007-03-11 11:28:23 · answer #5 · answered by france12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety if you have to ask that question I think you already know the answer. You should let that loser go! If he's going to stoop so low and sleep with your sister (who's your family) what's going to keep him from sleeping with any girl off of the street. Do you want to marry someone that slept with your sister? You'll always have questions in the back of your mind and you'll never fully trust him or her alone. Make a wise decision and get rid of this buster.
2007-03-11 11:26:59 · answer #6 · answered by step b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lying and withholding the truth is a form of mistreating you. Don't be fooled by his charm and charisma. He is taking advantage of you. He certainly doesn't have your best interest at heart. Why would you want to be in an unstable relationship? Don't settle with someone who is deceitful. You deserve better move on. Word of advice the moment your sister told you she slept with him you should have ended your relationship. Someone a family member or friend dates or sleep with is off limits.
2007-03-11 11:33:16 · answer #7 · answered by Aphreakywuman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater, always a cheater. I think that you should sit down with both and your sister and your ex and ask how they could do such a thing to you. Once he's broken trust, and especially in a way as serious as this, it's very hard and nearly impossible for a person to gain it back. It will always stick hard in your mind, even if you do decide to get back together and marry, so always remember that no matter what you decide to do. <3
2007-03-11 11:27:46 · answer #8 · answered by The Prep 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That he saw your sister before you started dating shouldn't be an issue with your seeing him now. The issue is that he lied about it. If you feel it is that big a lie and you can't live with that, then I guess you have to move on. If you love him and he is that good of a man and that is all that stands in your way with this relationship, then maybe you should forgive him and put it behind you. Only you can decide this.
2007-03-11 11:31:20 · answer #9 · answered by Pierre Patelin Longshanks 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well it must not have bothered you too much if you knew 2 month after you started dating him and didnt brake up for 2 years.Dont be silly...You would know by now if he wanted your sister...I married my sisters ex husband and I have never been happier in the 30 years we have been married..
2007-03-11 11:29:26 · answer #10 · answered by Dixie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋