What if your 1st serious relationship was a nightmare ?

Question

what if your 1st relationship was a real nightmare full of contradiction and which steps you backward instead of helping you grow ...!! when someone asks after 4 months that I am out of now of my 1 year relationship, I said I'm not ready yet , because I want to heal 1st and retrieve myself before envisionning to be in a new relationship ....!! Iám really emotionally drain and don't feel ready to give my love and trust anybody anymore ...!! is that right to wait , huh? and if that 1st one, was a nightmare would you always think that will be the same also ...?

Answer 1

It is perfectly okay to wait a while before getting back into any serious dating. You'll know when the time is right for you. Take the time in the interim to reacquaint yourself with who you are because I realize that, especially with the first serious relationship, it is easy to loose yourself in it. When its over, it takes a little time to center yourself because you spent so long envisioning a future with this other person it kind of throws you for a loop when it ends, even if it wasn't that great of a relationship. Believe me, they won't all be like this past one. Just look at it as a learning experience. You'll find as you get older and have other relationships that even if they end, they were at least good for teaching you a few more life lessons. My last one was rediculously bad. I found out in the end how much he had lied to and decieved me. It sucked and it hurt, but in the end I was kind of releived it was over because honestly for all the effort I put into it, I never really got much effort in return. I cried, then I was angry, then I was relieved. I decided that it all I could do was look at it as a lesson to be learned and march forward with my life. I took some time and just dated around a bit, had some fun, took some time to figure out who I was and where I wanted to go. Nine months later, I ended up meeting the man I would marry. That was 2 years ago. Now I have been happily married for 9 months.When the time is right, you'll find that perfect mate and you'll find that balance between being part of a couple and also keeping in touch with who you are as a person.

Answer 2

I think you are doing the right thing by waiting because you want to get over the situation and move forward in a positive way. See the best thing you can do after this situation is be thankful that you had the chance to make it work out, understand that for whatever reason it did not work, learn from it and try and start a new relationship. You do not want to bring in any baggage into your new relationship when it happens and by waiting, you understand that. Your next girlfriend deserves a clean slate and by waiting you are simply waiting until you can provide that.

Answer 3

if you arent ready, you aren't ready, plain and simple.
that said, you do need to give yourself a chance to see that not all relationships are 'nightmare'...you can go out with someone without starting a relationship. so, if someone asks you out, go...just make sure they understand you aren't looking for something serious...but you never know, you may end up surprising yourself!

Answer 4

Bottom line: If you aren't ready, you aren't ready.

You can't move on and be with other people openly and wholly, if you're still hung up with issues from your past. That's not fair to your future girl/guy and it isn't fair to you.

Answer 5

yes, its okay to wait a while until you are ready to date again. but not all relationship is like that. you have to find someone that will give you the best of him. and respect. good luck and take your time if you need to.

Answer 6

Not every relationship will be the same, you learn from each one and move on...