ok i have a friend she has been my friend for 3 yrs my daughter just had a birthday party i invited both of her kids...now her daughter is having a birthday party which i am invited to but the catch is...i am the only one invited she flat out told me my husband of my daughter who is one can not come her child is 13 i know that my daughter is not going for the party but it is the point that her kids were invited to my baby's party...the reason she said that they can not come is because she is doing this party at the beach by herself and she needs me to help...so therefore my baby or her father are not allowed to be there...also this is not the first time she has said this to only it is just my husband is not allowed most of the time how would you feel if this happend to you or what do you say? i never leave her kids or her husband out??!!
2007-03-11 10:26:52 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i did tell her how i felt and she kept saying is it really that serious? there are boys at the party, she is not gay and my husband always says she is just using me i help her out a lot at her house and i do favors for but i thought i was just being a friend to her it really hurts my feelings that my baby cant go more than my husband
2007-03-11 10:39:28 · update #1
I think you just need to be honest with her and tell her how you feel. You guys have been friends for 3 years...long enough to be honest with each other. Why can't your husband go and watch your little one? I understand that she wants you to help her....but that's what your hubby would be there for to free you up with your little one so you can help her. Will there be other men at this party? If so..there is no reason your hubby shouldn't be allowed to come. I think I'd ask you friend what she has against your husband and child? If she gets rude I'd tell her that your family is a part of who you are...there is no separation.
2007-03-11 10:38:26 · answer #1 · answered by fromthecabbagepatch 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A party at the beach with a bunch of pre-teens?!? She is going to have a hand full there. I see your point about being offended that your daughter and your husband not being invited. But right now she needs you as a friend to help her through what will surely be the most work she probably will have in the whole year combined. She needs you right now. If she truly is a friend, I would give her the help she needs. And after the party is over (not before -- don't add more stress on top of this already stressful event), tell her that you were hurt that your family wasn't included. Maybe next year, she can have all three of you over for a small family party. Do you remember when you were 13? Do you think your friends would have made fun of you if you had a one year old at your party?
2007-03-11 17:37:31 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle Moy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can see your point. But I can also see her's. Her child is 13 and if you bring your 1 yr old the child will be needing your attention. You on the other hand would be there to help out with the party and if your taking care of a 1yr old how can you help her? Discuss this with her and seriously would your husband care if he's not invited to a 13yr old's party mine wouldnt mind one bit. Or is the real problem your husband cant take care of the baby so your not comfortable leaving him w the baby that long. My husband is great w our 9month old but I wouldnt leave him for an extended amount of time either.
2007-03-11 18:34:52 · answer #3 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just don't go, and stop being so giving to her. Stop helping her out, and don't include her in any activities that you do. When she asks why, tell her you have a family, and they should not be excluded, and if she can not accept your husband or your daughter then she isn't much of a friend. My friend has older kids, and she includes my husband, and my baby in all the parties, and such. She would never exclude them. She sounds like she is using you, and you should tell her flat out that you do not appreciate that.
2007-03-11 19:10:01 · answer #4 · answered by Proud Mother 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're offended, don't go. OR let your hubby have some one on one time with his daughter - time like that will be even more rare when the "one on the way" arrives (as your ID says). Honestly, if your daughter was a few years older, I would worry that she will be exposed to activities reserved for teenagers... you don't want her growing up too fast. Just go alone. This is the 13 year old's party, not yours. Maybe the mom has said "no boys" and meant it - across the board, no boys, no men. Girls at that age act different around boys, men, etc. - like it or not.
2007-03-11 17:34:04 · answer #5 · answered by brassinpocket 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her that you would be happy to help her out but you and your family are a package deal. I mean, I am sure this beach has plenty of room for your family. Your husband and daughter do not necessarily have to be actively involved with the party but I am sure they would both enjoy going to the beach and unless it is a private beach she can't really stop them.
2007-03-11 19:01:58 · answer #6 · answered by VMSS 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to her first. But I would not go if your whole family is not invited. You invited her family to your parties and she is not extending that to your family. Also your husband would be at party to keep your daughter occupied so you would still be able to help her out. But I say don't go if your whole family is not invited, I find that rude to not invite all of you.
2007-03-11 17:44:38 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband may be correct; there is something definitely inappropriate with her desire to consistently exclude your family when she invites you to events/functions. Perhaps she simply does not like your husband, perhaps she is using you. I don't have enough information to know.
However, her response of "is it really that serious" indicates to me that she doesn' t respect your feelings. This should tell you all that you need to know about your friendship with her. You have every right to feel how you feel, and if you are offended, then yes, it's that serious.
If it were me, I would respectfully decline the invite, perhaps with a comment about having a "family" function to attend that day. :) Good luck to you.
2007-03-11 19:55:52 · answer #8 · answered by ~Biz~ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go. I also wounldn't make a big deal out of it. she has the right to say 'no kids or man' (now if other kids and men are going.. and yours are 'not allowed' that would be rude). But if it is no little kids and no men, then she has the right to say what she wants, just like you have the right to say 'no, I am spending that day with my family'. If she makes requests, you have the right to say no. She has no right to be upset.. if she asserts herself, so can you. (this does sound like she is abit controlling though, not just assertive if this is something she does alot despite you telling her how you feel). I woulnd't go or else she learns that works for her in your relationship
2007-03-11 17:44:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't like my family being excluded. I would just tell her that you won't be able to come and help because you and your husband haven't had enough time together. Then maybe she will start including him.
2007-03-11 17:37:06 · answer #10 · answered by iceemama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋