How do you explain to a child that his father left us?

Question

His father left us at 4 months old, When he gets older what is it that I should tell him

Yes, I know about child support and filing that is not my question

Answer 1

The best thing to do is be honest, but be very careful to not convey any negative feelings you may have. Chances are, your son will come to you - perhaps when he starts day care or school and notices other dads. Something like "Your dad and I had problems getting along together, and I guess he felt he couldn't stay here. His leaving had nothing to do with you; he loved you very much." Then when your sons asks (if this is the case) why Daddy doesn't call/visit/whatever, you can honestly say that you don't know why, you hope that changes in time; but for now he should remember that YOU love him, and that YOU will never leave and will always be there for him. I've been in your shoes, and I sympathize. It won't be easy, but keep it honest and keep any mud-slinging out of it. Whatever type of man/father he is, your son will eventually see the truth and he will appreciate your honestly later. Good luck to you. :)

Answer 2

You should tell him the truth, but don't talk hateful about his father since it wouldn't do you any good. Both of my sisters are in the same situation... they both have a son and the father's left them while the girls were pregnant. My younger sis has gotten married since then, so her husband acts as her son's father and my older sister did attempt to get back with the douche bag after she had my nephew, but the guy was still a d*mbass and ended up stealing her checks and committing fraud, but anyhoot... just tell him the truth. It could be as simple as "I love you very much, but your father wasn't mature enough to be a good daddy to you."... something like that, but you'll figure it out when the time comes. Just try not to sound hateful.

Answer 3

If you take your ques from the child and wait until he or she is questioning this u will know the right way to handle it. The most important thing to remember is that the problem had nothing to do with the child reinforce that and NEVER bad mouth his or her father to the child or allow anyone else to . This child has the right to form his or her own opinion of their father and no one has the right to influence that opinion. This is experience talking the child will respect u for it in the long run things have a way of working themselves out if we allow them to.

Answer 4

When he reaches that age tell him anything that he wants to know about his dad. That includes the good and the bad. Have him understand the circumstances for his dad's leaving and that, as his child, he was never the cause for his dad to leave.You can explain that at sometime in your lives you both had enough love for each other for him to be born into this world. There is no need to be judgmental or critical when telling him about his dad. Just portray him as a man; a person who, like the rest of us, makes mistakes and who missed out on the best thing that ever happened to you.

Answer 5

Are you asking in the experience that your husband to be could undertake your 3 babies or are you asking in case you may undertake a youthful baby jointly and make a finished of four? In the two case I say definite. your babies have time-commemorated this guy as a father parent for an prolonged time so for him to formally undertake them now may be a surprising difficulty. in case you're asking approximately adopting a splash one i do no longer think of your babies are too previous to have yet another baby in the domicile. i grew to become into 18 while my a million/2 brother grew to become into born.

Answer 6

the truth as to WHY he left.
the truth is best...do not strech it or put it out of context.
remember it is not the childs fault.
if he left because he did not want a child...tell the child that is why he left.
the child will grow to understand and will deal with it accordingly when the time is right.
again...tell the TRUTH...the child deserves that much.
sorry and good luck.

Answer 7

well, my daughter's father left when i was 3 mos. pregnant with her. when she asked about him around age 5, i told her we just didn't get along and he decided he wanted to live with so and so (he left me for his ex) i didn't say anything bad about him to her, i gave her the choice to think what she wanted about him. i figured he would show her himself what kind of person he really was and he did. just tell your son that sometimes mommies and daddies just don't get along and he didn't leave him, you two split up. but you love him and will always be there. if it helps, i bought my daughter a book called "I promise I'll always find you" about if anything ever happened that split you two up you would go to the ends of the earth to find him cause you love him so much. hope this helps.

Answer 8

SAY:

"Normally people who get married don't stay together. They have a tremendous amount of learning to do that can't take place while we are together. I hope you understand this kids.
The same thing may happen to you when you are married, and have children. Oh yes, even your kids are going to feel the pain because I married the wrong man." They won't have a grandfather.

Answer 9

you should tell him the truth in a soft way or hunt the father down and sue him for leaving his child.

Answer 10

You tell him that daddy decided that he didn't love mommy so he left because he didn't love mom not because he didn't love him. Grown ups are complicated, and can't live together if they don't love one another because it hurts too much. When he is bigger and has g/f's he will understand that you can't stay with someone you don't love because its too hard. You have to be with the people who love you in order to be strong. Take care Heather