3 year old cleaning her own room?

Question

Is it wrong to make your 3 1/2 year old daughter clean her own room? By that I mean pick the toys shes drags out, before she brings out any more, help me hang up her clothes. I dont mean deep clean all be her self. Just to pick her stuff she drags out. I worked a 8 hour shift at work today and I come home, and she wants me to open up one of her games, so I go in her bedroom to do that, and I notice the room I spot cleaned yesterday, is destroyed. Thats typical 3 year old stuff. But when I told her she had to pick her the other stuff before I opened her game. She sat and cried, then calls me every 5 minutes and proceeds to ask me again. We have been playing this game for about an hour now.

Answer 1

Wow, I swear I could have written this myself.
My 3 1/2 year old is at this point too. I tell her that if her room is destroyed and she isn't going to clean up her toys- they are going to get put up. And I do.
If she doesnt put her toys away after I ask, and instruct- I pick them up, place them in a big clear tub and put them in the top of her closet. She knows they are there... she can even see them- and she knows she can't play with them, because she didn't pick them up when she was finished.

Persistence is the key! My daughter throws a fit too... do not give in. You can do it girlie!

Answer 2

I don't see anything wrong with having your child clean her room; no matter what the age is. At 3 1/2, she may not do an excellent job but at least the behaviors will be established. You can work on the specifics later. At least you are raising her to be responsible for what she does. Good for you. Helping Mommy clean the house is a good habit to get into. Stick to your guns. You're doing a great job with her. If you continue to go through a song and dance every time it is "clean-up time"; maybe you can change the rule from clean up each toy before you play with the next to: About an hour before bedtime, have clean-up time. She'll have to put away everything she played with that day. That way you are only fighting the battle once a day instead of several times.

Answer 3

No it is not wrong. This is a good age to start teaching responsibility. That if she messes something up, she must help clean up. If she does not help or want to then have a naughty mat to sit on, especially if there are tantrums. Let her know nothing goes forth until the room is cleaned. No games, no goodies, no other toys. You have to stick to your guns, mean what you say and always carry out the threat of punishment, with the punishment. Otherwise she will think it is a game and you are playing with her. She will then learn how to play you for a fool.
So it starts now. If you do well now, she will learn how to keep her things neat and the rest of the house later, and be a big help to you as she gets older.

Good luck.

Answer 4

ABSOLUTELY she should pick up her things. It's simply respectful. I have a 3 1/2 year old son who most definately cleans his room before bed every night. At first it was a chore but now he just does it because he knows if he wants to continue to get nice toys he needs to take care of what he gets. This includes cleaning up. Do I make him make the bed...NO but he does keep his toys up and the laundry part I do, he generally doesn't get the clothes out but I know girls can be a little different with that since they like to play dress up. Keep working towards it.

Answer 5

No, whats it going to teach her if you pick up everything for her? That she can tear things up but not take any responsibility for cleaning things up. My thing is 'Help Me' pick these things up, because a whole room full of toys can be overwhelming to do all by themselves. But dont back down, make sure she puts the things away shes not playing with, before you open the game. Let her cry, then she wont get to play the game at all. Like my mom always said "too bad"

Answer 6

My daughter is 3 as well and she just learned to clean up after herself. It was a struggle at first because just like your daughter, she screamed cried and protested. But when I walked her throught the process (toys go in the toy box, clothes go is the basket) she was fine. In the beginning, when I told her to put her toys away, I dont think she quite understood what I meant by it. Now my daughter knows, before she starts playing with a new game or a new toy- she needs to put one back first. That certainly helps to prevent the overwhelming clutter.
We even have a sticker chart with all her daily activities and she knows if she cleans up without a fuss- she will get a sticker. And when she gets 15 stickers- she gets a dollar (which she usually spends on m&msor a toy from the dollar store). It makes chores fun.
It worked for me- I hope it works for you

Answer 7

I make my son (4) clean his room only once a week but any toys he drags out into the rest of the house has to be cleaned up that day. I figure if an unexpected guest comes by that I don't want seeing my house messy, I can close the door to his room and, I don't feel like I nag him all the time about keeping picked up.

Answer 8

We've found that one of the problems in our house is that the kids don't know exactly where things belong. When we labeled each bin and drawer with a picture of what types of things belong inside, it was much easier on the kids. It's hard enough for me to clean up after myself when I can't think of the best place to put something and kids can't reason at this level at that age. We helped the first several times, but now expect them to do it themselves. If this doesn't work, put a great majority of the toys in the garage/basement/storage and tell you daughter that when she learns to put away the few toys that she has, then you can trust her with more of them. If they don't learn to discipline themselves now, it will be that much more difficult when they get older. Hope that helps. Good luck and enjoy these years while they last. :)

Answer 9

The younger your child is when they learn responsibility the better. My two year old already helps pick up her toys every night before going to bed. I didn't expect my son to clean up after himself until he was older and he is still at disaster at almost 8 years old. You are teaching your daughter to be organized and to take care of her things. This will be better for both of you in the long run. I only wish I had done it with my older child. Good luck and stay with it, it may take a week or two to adjust to the routine.

Answer 10

No it's not unreasonable. My 3 year old daughter will put away her toys (after I ask her to) before pulling out another toy. If she refuses, I give her a warning what I will do if I have to clean it up by myself (time-out for the toy, meaning she cannot play with it). Now, if she refuses to listen when I ask her to put something away, all I have to do is ask her "Do you want Mommy to put it away?" and she knows exactly what will happen if she still refuses. Do NOT back down, if you do she will learn that nagging and whining will get her what she wants. Be consistent, if you tell her you will do something (like timeout for her toy), then do it. Be FAIR, give her warning what the consequence will be for not listening (when I first started this at the beginning, I give her several warnings, now I only give her one). Since she is only 3, I usually help her put things away. As she gets older, I will expect her to put more things away. Eventually, I will expect her to put everything away by herself.

My suggestion would also be to have a place for everything (if you don't have it already). That will make it easier to put things away. Three year olds can be stubborn, but if you are firm and fair (and reasonable in your expectations), you will be OK. Good luck!