We recently discovered that our 22 year old son has been helping himself to cash that we keep in the house during college breaks. Some of the cash is loose but he has actually opened our safe. Without hard proof we did not confront him, but left a note in the safe on top of the cash stating "this is not your money." He just left to go back to school and we found another $600 missing from the safe...even with the note. Honesty and ethics are at the top of our virtues list. We are mortified that our son obviously has a serious problem. I am getting ready to confront him and demand a confession and apology and get him to agree to some counseling. Any suggestions are most appreciated.
2007-03-11 10:06:41 · 9 answers · asked by Concerned Parent 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well first talk to him about school you know just kind of avoid it. Then ask if he knows what's happening to the money in the safe. And maybe he didn't take it maybe one of his friends does but don't immediately blame him without proof.
If someone blamed me without proof and I didn't do it I would get pissed so make sure it's not someone else.
2007-03-11 10:18:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very careful! This could be a huge drug problem! Is he having problems sleeping at night and then sleeping for days to catch up? Find out if he has a credit card that you don't know about. Does he go out in the middle of the night? Anything else missing from the house? Take an inventory of your expensive items, he could start to pawn them when the cash runs out. Buy a drug test, which is usually found where they sell drug perifinalia, such as pipes, etc., and test him, soon! You could be saving yourself a lot of money and heartache in the long run. Good luck!
2007-03-11 23:27:40 · answer #2 · answered by destiny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you dont know what his motavation was be it drugs gambling ect if its drugs hes going to lie like a rug what i would do is tell him that you know its him and you have proof of a viedo tape and you are ready to go to the cops and press charges to the fullest extent of the law which if he has half a brain he will know there goeg school and also throw in that he will be banished from your home or to be able to contact any one that lives there let dad or who ever is seen as the mean parent( good cop bad cop) and the easy going one stands around and does nothing but back the other you could even have the cop ther at the time they cant do any thing unless you ok cause look at it like this anything of value over 300 bucks is a felony and if he would do it to you he would slit my throat some one out side your home would hurt very bad for this so stop it now good luck it work for me he is a county sheriff's police 5years now, make him get a 10 panle drug screen
2007-03-11 18:03:58 · answer #3 · answered by FROSTY DA GREATFUL 1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you ask him what he uses the money for, after all he may be forced into steal ling, or have a gambling problem. But confronting him would be the best a talk between you two could sort out the problem and make it alright, and it should resolve in a civilized matter. After all he is your son, I hope this helps
2007-03-11 17:37:04 · answer #4 · answered by Martaaan__=] 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would certainly confront him and then right in front of him I would call the police and have his butt arrested. Stealing from anyone is serious and my goodness, if he steals from you, imagine who else he is stealing from. I would certainly change the combination to the safe or move all monies out of the house. If your statement that honesty and ethics are at the top of your virtues then send a huge message to him and send him to jail. If you let this slide then what message are you sending? I know this sounds rather harsh, but this is called tough love. I would hate to think what my Daddy would have done to me or one of my siblings for something like this. I don't think I would be typing this if something like this had occurred, he would have beat us to death. He had a code of conduct and stealing was something we better not do, so I cannot even imagine your son doing such a thing.
2007-03-11 17:26:02 · answer #5 · answered by Cindy Roo 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well....kinda get him to confess it himself...like start tlking about things...and then start tlking about the safe....if he doesnt come out and say it...u have to tell him...u think its him or some of his friends....if doesnt really have firends over there....then its obvious its him. and if he just skipped over the note....then he knows ur gonna confront him. i mean cmon! thats ur money! hes 22...he should be more responsible! he doesnt need counseling...what he needs are morals. just cuz someone is stealing doesnt mean they automatically need counseling...but im not the parent...its ur son...so u do what u think is best for ur son. he MIGHT not agree to the counseling if he doesnt feel bad for stealing or he just doesnt think he needs it. but i think u need to confront him..and hes 22 now...not 16....he should have a job. he should be able to pay u back. he better pay u back...hes in college with a job....he can pay u back...he needs to learn honesty, and responsibility. he should really learn not to spend all his money...cuz he should be saving it up to pay u guys back. im not saying it should all be in one time....but u know.
i hope i helped some!
2007-03-11 17:29:52 · answer #6 · answered by Teenager 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him about it and then let him know there will never be any cash in the house when he is there again. Put your money in the bank, he obviously thinks he is intitled to it, note or no note.
2007-03-11 17:25:08 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he must really be in some kind of trouble, to steal from your own family. wow that is the lowest of the low, and believe me i was no angel growing up, but i never stole or lied to my family, you need to confront him he must need help with something, drugs, gambling, something, these are the two first things and the most common things that come to mind when a person in the family starts stealing from other members. and remember not all addicts look like street people, you may not want to think he is in trouble, but it's either that or he is just a bad person, some people really are just bad people. they lie steal cheat and deceit and never even think twice about it. you need to be Stearn and make him tell what kind of trouble he is in, if he refuses to tell you let him know he won't be welcome in the house if this continues!
2007-03-11 17:28:00 · answer #8 · answered by Sir Hard & Thick 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
kick him out (all kids should be kicked out by the time they are 19 anyway)
2007-03-11 17:14:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋