My boyfriend has just had beans on toast for his tea- he stinks!! how do i protect myself from the smell?

Answer 1

don't think about sleeping in the same bed tonight! big mistake! i'd certainly keep clear of him till tomorrow!

Answer 2

If your boyfriend has "just" had beans on toast - I take it that "just" means recently, then the beans are not to blame. When one eats, initial digestion takes place in the mouth, the food then proceeds down the oesophagus (gullet) to the stomach, where hyrdrochloric acid is released to start the breakdown process proper. Food is then passed through the pylorus (a kind of non-return valve in the lower stomach) in to the intestine , wher absorption of nutrients begins to take place. In general, mouth to lower intestine takes 4 - 5 hours, and mouth to anus is generally in the region of 24-36 hours.

It seems to me that your boyfriend has got sluggish guts. What happens in this case is that food consumed hangs around in the intestines for longer than it should, and begins to decompose. This releases methane and sulphur, which gives intestinal gas (flatus or farting) its characteristic odour. A diet rich in meat and fats, without sufficient fibre from vegetables, wholewheat bread and fruit, will cause food to stagnate in the gut, and decay.

When one eats, a signal is sent from the brain to the digestive tract to prepare for action. The intestines operate a pulsing motion that propels their contents towards the rectum and anus (arsehole) and this action will impel gases that are resident within the gut towards the rectal outlet at greater speed than the chyle and chyme (partially digested and absorbed food) can move, hence the phenomenon of farting soon after eating. The stomach and lower tracts speed up, to make room for the new nosh, and the gas has to go somewhere.

Everyone passes enough intestinal gas per day to fill a party baloon or two, either during the act of defecation (having a ****), in sleep, or generally during the day - no-one, not even the Queen, Tony Blair or the President of the United States is immune. We all fart.

Baked beans are notorious for being the producers of farts, probably because sugar is added to the tomato sauce in which they are canned. The sugar will break the bean down more rapidly in digestion than would be the case if the bean was sugarless, but this does not account for your boyfriends current flatulance. It is probably last nights' McDonalds, Curry or Chinese, plus x pints of lager or bitter that have rotted a bit in the guts and are now emanating strongly frfom the dirt-box.

Answer 3

Send him to the pub for an hour, & in the meantime, spray some air freshener round the house!

Answer 4

He's the kind of guy that could produce some hardy kids, so I'd say he's a "keeper" and you should learn to live with it. You should teach him a lesson one of these days (eat a couple garlic cloves - that ought to do it).

Answer 5

Divorce

Answer 6

I by probability left the bread in the sunlight the former day. as quickly as I got here abode, i got here upon that it have been sweating profusely. Or condensation. Or something like that. besides, it become moist.

Answer 7

Lock yourself in another room or tell you boyfriend that when he wants to let off smelly woof woofs to put his bum outside

Out of respect lol

good luck to you with that

Answer 8

i know that feeling very well,have you tried a peg?
if that doesn't work maybe you could try a cork for his backside,but hey if all else fails you may want to try a new man.but then again that probably won't work either because
BOYS SMELL!!

Answer 9

leave the house and dont let him eat beans next time (or use an air freshener is simpler

Answer 10

Buy him some cologne or go get some air freshner and say,"Smell this new freshiner I got today," ...or you could just tell him straight up.