Mother in law problem?

Question

My MIL forgot my 8 yr. old daughter's b-day and now I'm upset.. How do I ask her why did she forget without startng a big problem?

Someone please help me!!!
Thanks..

Answer 1

One forgotten card causes M-i-L problems?????
Birthdays......those little one a year days that come & go so fast yet cause at times so much misery & feelings of being un-loved....I hope you didn't make a big thing out of this to your little girl, because that could make her day a lot worse than a forgotten card or pressie from her grandmother. Some people make a big fuss out of birthdays as though if a card fails to arrive from a certain person it's proof that they don't love you anymore.

I was wondering what's your M-i-L normally like to your children....does she show love & affection...does she normally help out or has she in the past? I'm guessing that maybe she has as you seem so hurt about this oversight, if she normally forgot you'd be used to it by now & wouldn't have thought too much. Are you really going to get yourself so upset over this.... reading it as a bad sign.....are there not other times throughout the year that your M-i-L shows her love for you all....does it all depend on a birthday card or present that is afterall given out of tradition....I brought my children up without the absolute need to rely on birthday pressie’s or the like as proof of someone’s love for them.

Many I know hang onto traditions as though they're the make or break of every bit of affection. I have 11 grandchildren & have forgotten at times to get a card or even a pressie, yet they all know they're loved as much as each other. I don't get presents so much at birthdays, I tend to get them throughout the year when my own love dictates I will & neither of my grandchildren...or children for that matter...know when I'll give them a present. They actually get more out of me this way than being tied down to certain days, days that inevitably fall very close to one another whereby if stuck to would mean each would get less, as money can only be shared to a minimum in any given time period….when my now grown up children have a birthday they don’t hold each other down to whether they received a card or present, sometimes they’ll give the other a present or card sometimes they won’t…they still all care about one another & certainly wouldn’t fall out over such a thing, neither do they have the attitude…”I got him a present last birthday but he didn’t get me one this year” it’s worked out far better in the way they all view one another too…..plus they know when something’s bought it’s done out of love & out of being thought of……

I’m not having a go honey I’m just trying to say what a shame that something such as this….a man made tradition….would be so upsetting to you due to what I’m sure is a little oversight. I’ve had friends that have fallen out with their own mothers because a birthday card didn’t arrive in the post, because they read into the lack of the postman knocking with a present as a sign of love somehow being not there, as though their mother had somehow done it to cause pain & hurt, out of sheer spite….all this despite the fact that their mother’s had babysat, helped out in many many other ways, been there in a shot if she was needed…..all done out of love & because they wanted to, everything their mothers had done throughout the year had suddenly faded out into the background just because of a lack of a card or present when they felt it should be given….my friends just couldn’t or wouldn’t see reason & suddenly large problems appeared, one of my friends has never spoken to her mother since causing the whole family to feel resentment that should never have been & a lot of un-happiness to boot.

Obviously you know your M-i-L better than any of us here & if she’s normally a spiteful cow to your children then fair enough I can understand you being pissed off with her but if she’s normally a loving kind & helpful grandma then maybe you’re focusing on something that isn’t an indication of her love or lack of it in any way. Maybe it’s you that’s needing to re-think your attitude to focusing the whole meaning of love being pinned down to just one day out of 365
Sorry if you think I’ve been having a go at you, I haven’t meant to, just trying to help you all feel much better about it & keep your family together with real love not something because you think you have to…I wouldn’t even mention it to her if I were you….it proves nothing……

Answer 2

quote "My MIL forgot my 8 yr. old daughter's b-day and now I'M upset" unquote.
YOU'RE upset, not your little girl. your behaviour will be what causes any hostility towards your little girl & her grandmother. Your little girl would hate the thought that her grandmother doesn't love her yet you seem to be trying to cause that to belief to come about.
Looking at some of the answers here, I'm not surprised some of you have m-i-l problems. what is it about wives & m-i-l's that some of them just will not get along. not over the lack of a birthday card I hope. how stupid is that? & your a mother of 3 too. wait til you become a m-i-l & realise how hard it becomes to try some juggling act in order to keep everyone happy, how attempts of helping are seen as interfering. you'll see it all from a very different point of view then. your acting like a spoiled child. you need to grow up a bit & look at the whole picture. cut her some slack lady.
p-o

Answer 3

Listen to the song 'Mother of mine' first along with your MIL and tell your 8 yr old dotty to give a long kissiiiiiiiiii on the cheek of ur MIL and say "ur r cute Grannyyyyyyyy, I love U soooooo Much" and then ur turn. This will give ur Dotty also a nice way to forgive. Learning 'forgiveness' at this tender age will make her a charming lady in the long run.

Mother of mine, you gave to me / All of my life, to do as I please / I owe everything, I have to you / Mother, sweet mother of mine.
Mother of mine, when I was young/ You showed me the way, things have to be done / Without your love, where would I be / Mother, sweet mother of mine.
Mother, you gave me happiness / Much more than words can say / I pray the Lord that He may bless you / Every night and every day.
Mother of mine, now I have grown / And can walk straight, all of my own / I'd like to give you what you gave to me / Mother, sweet mother of mine.

So my favourite quote is: Equate Mother Earth with your Mother and serve both with equal honesty. It is also your MIL.
You are also a demanding mother, is not it?
Forgive her for your solace.

Answer 4

learn and interest the two mutually good could desire to be very tiring and then looking after the abode. Following advice could help. a million. that's greater effective you hire somebody to guard your mom in regulation. 2. You cant replace your mom in regulation so adjust to the area. circulate out commonly for dates along with your hubby and enjoy existence. Watch action picture do issues that make you happy. 3 save your self busy at abode, merely forget approximately bitter words and circulate on, all people has perfect to speech. mom in regulations are particular supply her some care, purchase her some attire, take her out too and spot the version. perfect of success

Answer 5

Brain fade?????

Let it go..... Ther are so many more ways a MIL could irritate you. save a good pissed off for one of those. the next time your over.. Just make a point of showing her something absolutely "dahhhhlingg" that your daughter got for her birthday....
hehehehehehehehe


But.. don't make a mountain. One of these days you're going to have to climb it.

Answer 6

Maybe it was an oversight on her part, but lets face it maybe she is just stupid! How does a grandmother forget her granddaughters birthday? Just ask her and if she gets upset you tell her she has no right to be upset, she's the one that messed up, not you. I wish you luck, I also have MIL problems!!!! Wish your daughter a HAPPY BIRTHDAY for me.

Answer 7

I just know that with my own MIL the best thing to do would be to just let it go. I would like to think that she didn't do it intentionally.

Answer 8

Honestly, I would just let it go, and not make a big deal out of it. it will hurt your child to know that your upset and your child is number one. I'm sure it wasn't intentional and if it was it is her loss. Be the grown up, let it go...and hug your child...

God bless
Cinderella

Answer 9

Let her know that your daughter asked why she forgot, that way you put her in the spot. (MIL)

Answer 10

I would ignore it and realize that everyone isn't perfect.
If it continues your daughter will grow up and realize it on her own.

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, maybe something came up....and things got busy...

You might need that "Pass Go" card one day.....

Best wishes