Is this infatuation?

Question

Infatuation
Meanings: (1) temporary love of an adolescent, puppy love (2) foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiration
Ok, so here's my situation: I like a guy, and he knows. I know that he likes someone else, too, but I'm not sure if he likes me back, even the tiniest bit. Anyway, I feel that he's leading me on and using me. Sometimes, he does things like fight for me as a partner, or say I really like you!, but I sometimes sense a fakeness underneath it. (They always say that a woman's sense of things is pretty strong.) Then, later the same day, not even an hour later, he would put his arms around the girl he likes and hug her. This would always happen when I'm standing behind her. It just breaks my heart, shatters it like glass. That hurts more, when first he flatters you, then the next second dumps you. Also, he bugs me for homework help, which is basically asking me to tell him the answers. I really hate this routine, him leading me on and using me.

See, he's my first crush, I guess you can say, and I feel that I like him more each year, so this has been ongoing for several years. I know I should hate him for doing all this to me, and I do. Sometimes. I can't hate his guts because... well, you can't exactly ate someone whom you've liked for so many years, right? I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place sometimes, it's so hard for me. I feel very sad at times, because of this torture. It probably is infatuation, but any constructive comments or answers will be very much appreciated. Thanks.

Yes, I know this is probably another cycle of an adolescent's life, but it's just so hard to let go. Sometimes, I think I have fallen into a depression. I feel that I can never be free, I am always held back, and the worst part is, I know I'm doing this to myself, always being confined from being happy. I just can't bear to let go, I guess life in general.

Thanks for the great answers. Truth to be told, I really want to hate him. For letting me waste all those years. I think he is a player, but he sometimes snags me at moments, it feel slike he's actually paying attention to me, but I know it's fake. I try to think about his bad qualities, and he has a lot, but I'm just not willing to let go, for some crazy reason. It's so weird. Made me waste almost ten years.

Answer 1

It is infatuation, and it's unrequited. That is to say you like him, and he's using you.
Wants you to give him answers? Don't. Tell him you want to talk about more fun things than homework and see if he sticks around. My bet is he won't.
(As a teacher I always say, half-joking--don't give your answers away. Sell them. Charge money. Your effort and time are worth at least that.)
Hugs other girls in front of you? That's just cruel. Tell him you don't like that, and if he doesn't stop then he doesn't care enough about you.
Yeah it will be hard to throw him off, but if he doesn't treat you well you don't need him. If he just takes takes takes and doesn't give you what you want, hold out for better. Because he's screaming adorable now as bad boys often are, but he may only be laying on the charm to get what he wants. Find out if that's the case, and if it is, dump him.

Answer 2

yes, i have the exact same problem as you right now. and yes i know its messssedd up, it feels like its in the way of being happy cauz you know you'll never be happy unless your with him. but the truth is, you can be happy without him because i thought the same thing but i am happy right now, basically because i keep busy with my life and when i thnik about him i think its okay that im thinking about him cauz i can't fight it(im not sure if that makes sense) but hopefully you get my point. The way you feel about this guy is very hard to fight, and people say just try to get over him, time will do the trick, but their wrong(depends how much you like the person). To sum all of this up, basically what you have to do is keep busy busy busy and do the things that you enjoy doing until one day you realize that your happy without him, yet you may still like him, but you will have to wait until the day you meet a guy that you like better than him.

Answer 3

It's infatuation. Love has to be both ways.

Sounds like this guy is high maintenance and a player. My first impulse would be to dump his behind and find somebody who is worthier of your love.

Don't cast your pearls before pigs or swine. Meaning don't settle for any less. You are more than that and you should never be second...unless it's absolutely necessary..like standing in line at the grocery checkout.

Answer 4

i felt that too about that one guy, my very first crush, like i just got hooked, like i know its really not love, with all the evidences and all and still i think about him and i get depressed
yes, that is infatuation, its not love, and if you can do and forget him as early as now and not let him take control over your life and emotions you would not be too shattered as i am now.if only i woke up and just faced the fact that he is no good for me,if that was love you should be interested with life, you should be happy ,you should feel confident and trusted and sure of yourself, no man has the right to make you feel less than what you are, i dare say he has no right, youre right we have womens intuition and even scientist say that following your intuition is very helpful, you sense the fakeness. dont fall into that trap all over again,stay away from him, get to know other people, dont let this refrain you from having meaningful relationship with others, it would be very destructive for you in the long run to still think of him, do all you can to take him out of your head and life.its for the best, believe me im suffering until now, dont do this to yourself

Answer 5

The best thing to do is to let this guy go because he is really not worth fighting for.He is making you feel not appreciable you can do better with out him in your life.He is using you and dint give him the satisfaction.Be strong this might take a long time for you .

Answer 6

ooo, i felt like i had that problem a while back, only not so intense. anyways, u just need to focus on something other than this guy. u cant depend on him for ur happiness, because nomatter what, he will let u down, even if he doesnt mean to. so be ur own, complete, and content person. then start looking for a guy. its ok to want a guy, but its not good to feel like he is the reason ur alive.

Answer 7

Maybe you like playing the games too. It makes for a lot of hills and valleys in a relationship. Like a roller coaster.

Answer 8

no, you arent infatuated.
if you were, youd pretty much stalk him.
or hit on him profusley.
you're just stuck in a routine that you need to cut loose.
move on and behave differently.
see how he reacts.
sound like this guy is too immature for you.
id say, find somebody who gives and receives,
instead of just receives!