How do I treat a Bipolar person?

Question

I have a new friend that is bipolar, she told me herself and I know she takes medication for it. I've seen her mood swings and they're Extreme, when she's upset by something she usually takes it on her husband or children. How can I help her? What can I do in those frantic moments? so far I've managed to avoid being her target but I'd really like to find a way to sooth her down in those moments.

Answer 1

You can't "help" her, but you can be supportive. She is responsible to help herself, and if she isn't in treatment, she is neglecting herself.

I have bipolar disorder, just so you know.

Yes, it comes with mood swings, but just because we have mood swings doesn't mean we don't have the ability to develop coping skills..

We have NO RIGHT to mistreat others (as in yelling, screaming, causing upset). Unless your friend is delusional or psychotic, she has the ability to find good ways to cope with bad situations. whether she puts an effort forth to work on changing her behaviors best she can, i don't know?

I normally know when i am not doing well -- depressed, or agitated, or feeling more energetic than usual.

If you want to be supportive of your friend, and she is experiencing "extremes" quite often, gently let her know that you are aware she seems agitated or upset -- and listen to her.

You might tell her it's very important to take care of HER needs, too... so if she needs a "break" perhaps take a nice bubble bath, go shopping for something she'd like to have, work on a project, or whatever she's "into".... something to help her relax.... she really needs personal "down time" (just like everyone else).

you could suggest she asks her husband or another close, family member to help her when she doesn't feel as if she can handle things. it's ok to ask others for assistance...even with the little things.

you can let her know it's OK to tell her husband and kids she is feeling upset, depressed or unwell on any given day, so they know how she's feeling (they can't read her mind, and if she lets them know, they might find ways to be helpful to her, or make the day a little easier)...

you might ask her if she's considered talking to her doctor about her medications? sometimes we need the doses "adjusted" or even new medications all together. bipolar disorder is manageable through medical care.

Is your friend in therapy? If not, she probably needs to go, and be HONEST with the therapist about her feelings, actions and reactions to life situations so the therapist can figure out the best ways to help and guide her toward a better life. You could suggest it?

if your friend drinks alcohol or takes drugs other than her meds, she needs to quit NOW.... alcohol distorts thinking, is a depressant and can enhance an agitated or depressed mood. even one drink!

there are also a lot of self-help resources on the internet, for which she could do a search. ....and on line "communities" where those with bipolar disorder can come together and post in forums, or even chat (i have listed one of these below).

while i understand it's stressful raising a family, we all have to take responsibilities for ourselves, too... as much as we can.

i don't know the severity of your friend's symptoms -- everyone has a different set of symptoms and issues.

You seem to be a great friend -- i can see that from your question... YOU can find information on line, as well....and i'm sure many of the websites regarding bipolar disorder will give advice to family and friends...

all the best! **hugz to you and your friend!**

p.s. i'm the administrator of an online mental health community, and if you want to email me for more information, please do. thanks.

Answer 2

The first thing you need to do is to learn more about this disorder. It's great that you want to help her. So many people just cross people with BP off their friends list! It's very important that she adhere to her medication regimen, and if she's having these drastic ups and downs, she may need to have her medication adjusted. Sometimes it takes awhile to get the right dosage and/or combination.

You have to have a lot of patience, but you shouldn't have to walk on egg shells with her. Let her know that you are someone that she can talk to, and encourage her to talk about her feelings, but don't let her take advantage of your friendship. That will do neither of you any good in the long run.

Again, learn all you can about the disease. There's a lot of good info on the net. The best book I've read is Bipolar Disorder by Mondimore. Good luck to you and your friend.

Answer 3

When she is in a calm state, ask her how she would like to be treated when she's manic.

I have a friend who is bipolar. He told me frankly that if he ever lashes out angrily, he would hope I would stay calm and say "Let's talk some other time when you're not so wound up." He said that he tries to treat people the way he would like to be treated, even though it's very hard when the manic stage takes hold. He says (and I agree) that being bipolar is no excuse for treating people badly.

He doesn't take his anger out on me. Sometimes I just ask him if there's anything I can do. There usually isn't, but he appreciates it anyway.

Answer 4

Yes, this is a terrible problem. through many years with this in my own family I finally had my daughter hospitalized to save her from herself. She was at the bottom of the heap with drugs and booze along with her medicine and she had spent three years in the pen,We decided we would let her stay with us till she was well,It did not work out and we had to send her on her way because we had reached the end of our rope,nothing seemed to work.she is over 50 years old and is now one of the infamous street people.We my wife and I are 70 years old and just could not handle it any longer,We have to love her from a distance now and all we can do to save our own sanity is pray for her.No matter how much you want to help your friend,It will take a lot of professional help and a lot of money.Good luck,we feel we have done our daughter wrong but the dr,s have told us that this was the best thing we could have done.She was even threatening that she was going to hurt us.You must get help for your friend or else the problems will only grow larger.Sorry that I cant offer you anything but advice.

Answer 5

bipolar is simply an extreme case of manic depression. If her meds are correct then she should not be cycling very often.. maybe 1 - 2 times a year.. if that. some of the newer drugs that they have found useful for this disorder are actually seizure meds...

lamictal, topamax.. great ones.... if she's cycling more often than this, she needs to have her meds reviewed.. there are still a lot of docs that think Lithium is best....not true!!!!!!

Answer 6

seek for a councilor. in case you relatively are bipolar there are meds that help soooo lots. i'm bipolar, and that i take 150 mg lamactil and 25 mg zoloft. that is helped me get my existence jointly, to boot as helped my relationships with acquaintances and kin.

Answer 7

The best you can do is to stay calm, especially when she is in her manic phase. You can try to reason wth her but it will be difficult. The main thing is to BE THERE for her. Don't run away from her. She will be difficult, there is no doubt about it, but in the good times she will probably be a very good friend to you.

Answer 8

I agree with Michael, care, compassion, learn what the illness is about so you can cope as a friend. Be a friend but dont get burned. Good luck.

Answer 9

it doesnt matter how you treat it she will see things the way she wants to see them. i lived with a bipolar man once and it was the hardest part of my life ever. He would walk up to you and hit you for no reason, If you tried to make him laugh he thought you was laughing at him. I say be there for her but be carefull

Answer 10

Treat her like a person!