What is the best joke that you have ever heard?

Question

I've heard this joke. I thought it was funny!

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip.
During the night Sherlock Holmes wakes up Dr. Watson.

Sherlock Holmes: "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see".

Dr. Watson: "I see millions and millions of stars."

Sherlock Holmes: "And Watson, as London's finest doctor, what does that tell you?"

Dr. Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that space is infinite, that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Holmes, as England's finest detective, what does it tell you?"

Sherlock Holmes: "Watson, you idiot! Somebody stole our tent!"

What was the best joke you've ever heard?

Answer 1

There were 3 girls standing in front of a mirror and if they told a lie to the mirror the mirror would eat them. So, a fat Burnet came up to the mirror and said I think that I'm the thinnest person in the world. And then the mirror ate her. Next a ugly Red Head came up to the mirror and said I think I'm the prettiest person ever. And the mirror ate her too. So, Next a Blonde comes up and says I think... And then the mirror ate her!!

So, there was a red head and a blonde sitting at a bar and they were watching the news. And this guy was about to jump off of a building. So, the red head says to the blonde" I bet you $100 dollars that the man does jump off of the building." And the blonde says," I bet you $100 that he doesn't jump off of the building." They watch the news and of course the red head id right and he does jump off the building. The red head says," I saw the news earlier so I knew that he was going to jump off of the buildidng." And then the blonde says," Oh. I saw that one too. I just didn't think that he would jump off again!!!"

Answer 2

Eve's side of the story

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
"So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are
breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, I have just
one problem.
It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two
out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on
branches and snagging them on bushes. I do hate to complain but, they're a
real pain," reported Eve.
Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in
pairs, her limbs, eyes, ears, etc., she felt that having just two breasts
might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced." "That' s a fair point,"
replied God, "but it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals
six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that
you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the
bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, but for one oversight. "You see, all the
animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram, and the cow has her bull. All the
animals have a mate except me. Sometimes I feel so alone."
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could
I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a
man from a part of you.
Now let's see, where did I put that useless boob?"
Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that stuff about the rib?

Answer 3

My favorite joke is short and sweet.

A seal walks into a club.

Answer 4

the ones which i post about Egypt ..we the Egyptians r of the funniest nations in the world .. we learned how to laugh in grief and happy times!

Answer 5

I've just made one myself:

First Person: You are a lier.
Second Person: You are telling the truth.

Answer 6

I thought that was the most funiest joke!!lol!!

Answer 7

yo momma is so fat she has to wear a shirt that says "caution: wide turns"

Answer 8

lol that was a good one! hmmmmmm not sure.

Answer 9

ha ha ha