am taking a semester off from college and my dad won't let me live at my apartment (we're paying the lease anyway) which is an hr away. He is very controlling-- he seldom lets me go out, makes up excuses for me not to see my boyfriend, and gives me stupid curfews even though I'm 21. He grounds me if I'm even 5 minutes late. He also takes his stress out on me by hitting me with the soft side of a golf club (enough to get a bruise) over stupid things like if I park my car in the wrong spot on our driveway. He and my mom used to fight a lot but they stopped when I left for college. Now that I'm home, our household is unsettling again. My mom used to intervene, but she's so scared of my dad that she now turns the other way when he loses his temper with me. She never yells at him, she yells at me because of making him angry or blames me for her non-terminal cancer, or blames me for screwing up everything. Why won't my dad let me live at my own apt? Why are my parents this way?
IDEAS??
2007-03-11 08:52:02 · 10 answers · asked by aMeNa_aCid* 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't understand how your father can stop you from living at your apartment unless he is paying for it. If he is paying for it, it's not your apartment, it's his. If he's not paying for it, when he comes over to physically ( i guess) remove you from your apartment call the police and press charges. Your 21 years old...start acting like it get a job, get student loans and pay for your own housing. If you keep acting like his child, he will continue to treat you like his child. He isn't going to change, and your mother has figured this out and decided to stay and put up with it. (dad has LOTS of money, doesn't he). Put up with it, or leave. Money really does buy anything, in this case he is buying the "privilege" to abuse you and your mother...I wouldn't be for sale.
2007-03-11 09:06:22 · answer #1 · answered by Mike M. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With you being 21, why are you letting your father control you? It is time to break the apron strings and take care of yourself. If you are taking a semester off, than you can get yourself a job and take care of all your own bills, and minimize your visits with the parents. Meaning if he starts his crap....leave and tell them that you will visit when he can control hisself like an adult. Stay in your own apartment! What exactly can he do about it? and the next time he tries to raise his hand to you (or a golf club) go straight to the police! Make sure to photograph your bruises also!
2007-03-11 08:58:57 · answer #2 · answered by MrsJ S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think before you act.
It doen't sound like you are telling the whole story and you are upset with the rules your parents set under there roof. Why are you taking a semester off from college? If the situation is so bad at home and you have an apartment at college, don't take off the semester and finish college.
"You won't have to live at home."
2007-03-11 09:49:18 · answer #3 · answered by Tina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your dad is not crazy, he was abused as a child, he shows classic signs of being an abuser and most abusers were abused as children themselves, they way you describe your mom tells me she most likely has been abused the entire relationship, and if he hits you he hits her. when he gets mad at you after he is done with you most likely blames her for your wrong doing, sounds like this has gone on for quite awhile, you need to get out and start your own life, your 21 and get grounded? that is weird, nothing sounds normal about your family, and nothing will change as long as your mom says noting, you need to get out and get your life started for yourself, and now that you have been exposed to this type of lifestyle there is a high chance that you will treat your kids the same way! again get out and get your head together and start your own life. hope you get help or make the move good luck!!
2007-03-11 10:08:27 · answer #4 · answered by Sir Hard & Thick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best advice you can get is to pay your own way thru life. Get employment and your own place. He can't hold paying your bills against you if you pay your own. College is mega expensive and no one can deny that, but apply for as many grants/scholarships, get financial aide, anything you can to decrease the amt of support you receive from him. It won't be easy to afford, but you'll be soooo much better off than having to deal with his abusive violent behavior. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-03-11 09:16:30 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you are old enough to leave home so you need to do so. Try and find a friend you can stay with until you find a new apartment.
2007-03-11 08:55:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is paying for e/thing, I expect he feels he has the right to have complete control over you. You are of legal age, and have the right to your independence. However, if you choose for him to pay for your independence, it will be difficult to use your wings freely.
2007-03-11 09:24:58 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go back to your apartment your dad can not stop you and next time he hits you with anything please call the cops on him. You should not be treated like that it's just not fair. Run girl!!!!
2007-03-11 08:58:25 · answer #8 · answered by chunkysmom3502 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run girl. Stay with a friend.
2007-03-11 09:09:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're grown, decide for yourself.
2007-03-11 09:17:21 · answer #10 · answered by Chrishonda Alston 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋