What I mean is... was it a voluntary decision? Did you say to yourself "I will love this person" and then make it happen?
Can we choose the yearnings of our heart? Can you? Did you?
2007-03-11 08:43:18 · 31 answers · asked by ZER0 C00L ••AM••VT•• 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Hmm...at first it seemed to just happen,
but after a while, it seemed to be an act of decision.
There seems to be an ebb and flow to love,
from spontaneous right action to deliberate decision to spontaneous right action.
Can we expect love to be static?
I do know that love can begin with infatuation and grow by degrees into unconditional agape.
2007-03-11 09:10:26 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Um I did and I didn't. I love my girlfreind a lot but we got together because of luck. We lived next door to each other for a while then we moved apart but we still go to the same church. We liked eachother since preschool. Kinda weird huh? I didn't say I will love her and make it happen. I believe God put us together. We can choose the yearnings of our heart but it is't always best as I could atest to. Some people won't help you with your goals and some people will.
2007-03-11 15:49:14 · answer #2 · answered by Branden 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi there... My story is a little different... I fell in love with my husband after we were engaged.. My parents chose him and asked me my desicion. I agreed and thought that I will HAVE to love him.. And compromise a little.. But, when I got to know him after we got engaged.. I had to compromise nothing.. He was what I wanted... I didnt MAKE myself love him.. I just fell in love with him... It was unbelievable... but, its true... We have been together almost 5 years... three years while we were engaged and two years since our marriage.. and the spark is still there.. ever growing.. our love never ceases, but grows... There is never a day that goes by where we don't see something exciting to do together... The more the days pass, the more we are in love... I was lucky.. very lucky... But, in a subtle way, I think we can make our heart choose to love someone...
Hope I made sense...
Peace...
2007-03-11 15:57:22 · answer #3 · answered by Sunnydays_r_here_again 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it just happens. If you force love, it's not going to work for either of you. The sad thing is, many people mistake physical attraction for love, then they find out later that they were wrong. I didn't choose to fall in love with my boyfriend - it just happened. We clicked. And that had never happened with anyone before him, so I knew it was the real deal.
2007-03-11 15:50:46 · answer #4 · answered by ReeRee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At the beginning I fell in love with my husband but a few times over the years it was definitely something I had to choose :-)
2007-03-11 15:56:12 · answer #5 · answered by me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is tricky. I don't think we can choose who we are attracted to in the heat of the moment, but we can choose whether or not we act on or entertain the attraction.
It's difficult, but necessary at times, to change the sort of person we are attracted to. Take, for example, the person who is addicted/attracted to abusive types. It takes therapy, but it can be done.
I do believe that love is an action. Love is behavior. So, in that sense, of course we choose who we love. We choose who we are loving toward. And we can choose to love someone who is repulsive to us. Our emotions often follow our behaviors. We can "learn to love" people to whom we feel an aversion by loving behavior toward them.
I think it is possible (difficult, granted, but possible) to say to yourself, "I will love this person." and then make it happen.
2007-03-11 16:09:17 · answer #6 · answered by Contemplative Chanteuse IDK TIRH 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't believe it is voluntary. We can't choose who we love anymore than we can choose who not to love and quickly get over them.
2007-03-11 16:10:09 · answer #7 · answered by Gorgeoustxwoman2013 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it wasn't a voluntary decision at all. If I'd had a choice, I never would have loved him.
2007-03-11 16:19:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am completely in love with my husband. I prefer women, I would not have ever chosen to fall in love with him. Nor would I have been the person that he would have chosen. The heart or chemistry takes over.
2007-03-11 21:16:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i choose the yearning in my heart for my husband the very day i met him, 20 years ago, and its still there and growing
2007-03-11 16:19:04 · answer #10 · answered by dragonfly2dreams 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋