should i give her a good spank or not?

Question

my 5 yr old keeps on swearing spitting and hitting her sister she is always yelling and being sassy do i smack or not

is no then what else can i do?

we spend alot of quality time together and i do try to time her out when she does little things but it never works her sister is always good at home its only at school she has a problem and we try not to shout were possible but i think the swearing is being picked up from school or somthing but when i spoke to her teacher she said she hadn't heard any one other then maddie swearing and that 4 other parents had complained that there children ha used the word **** or called there mum a ***** and when asked were it came from they said maddie says it or maddie told them to say it so you can see why this is a hudge problem for me! But if her sister 14 swears i cant spank her or can i what do u think?

Answer 1

try time out and taking away privileges first. if it does no good, then spanking. Don't smack on the face if that is what you mean. I hate that. I think that is so demeaning.

Answer 2

What would happen if you smacked a person who is of legal age? You would get arrested probably right? That is because it is wrong to hit someone. I know swearing and bad behaviour is a real problem with children these days ( I have a 4 year old) But do you really want your 5 year old to think it is OK to smack someone, if they don't act the way they think is right? It just compounds another problem to your dilemma. Believe me some punishments run thin, and your temper get even thinner, but trust me smacking is not the answer. Just like a child the parent has to know as well when to reach out and ask for help.

Answer 3

Explain to her the impact that expetives have on other people and how bad they make others around her feel. And tell her, for every expletive she uses, you will take one toy away. Make sure you take away her favorite toys and tell her that toys are privelages and if she truly wants them- then she has to earn them back. That means when you feel as if she has grown responsable enough to have them while not using swear words or spitting, them you can give them back one by one. But be consistant and talk to her teachers as well.

And no matter how hard it may be- dont hit her. You will just be teaching her that hitting is an acceptable solution to a problem and it will just spark her anger even more.

Answer 4

Would you want her, or anybody for that matter, to hit you? No, because it's physical abuse, so please don't do it to her. She only came through you, she doesn't belong to you so you have no right. (If anyone else hurt her, you'd go mad right??)

You need to try to get her to explain why she's acting like this, but don't be confrontational, just bring it slowly into the conversation, be diplomatic & tactful but not patronising - is she having problems at school? Is she being bullied? Are there problems going on at home? Does she have a lot of close friends? Also consider whether her sister provokes her sometimes (though I don't know how old her sister is).
Try and think back to when she started being like this, what triggered it. Remember, no child is naughty. They don't do things out of spite, they react to and reflect what's happening around them. Maybe she could be jealous of her sister if you sometimes spend more time with one and not the other?
Just talk to her. She may only be 5 but kids are clever, you may be surprised

Answer 5

I dont think spanking is the long term answer. If you are trying to stop her being violent to her sister, it sends out a confusing message to her if you are hitting her.
Introduce 'time out', put her in a place where she has no toys and nothing to do. Even the laundry will do. Make her sit there until she is sorry and calmed down.
After a while even the threat of 'time out' is enough.

Answer 6

Yer you can spank a 14 year old she is old enough to know better. Your 5 yr old is just taking it off your teen sit her down and tell her she needs to stop talking like that or your going to have to discipline her. And ask Maddie if she knows what those words are and what they mean then tell her they are bad words and if she doesn't stop saying them your going to have to spank her, take her TV away, try whatever you think will work. But if you don't get her and her behavior under control NOW your going to have a bigger fight when she's a teen. It won't be worth it so do something about it now.

Answer 7

I would stick her in the Naughty Spot (ie Time out) for 1 minute for each year of age, so 5 minutes.
After 5 minutes is up in simple terms explain WHY she was put in the Naughty Spot (ex " you were put in the spot because you used bad words and hit your sister") Then ask for an apology, if she refuses, 5 more minutes in the spot, ask again. Typically a kid will apologize after the first time.

Answer 8

My kids are 6 and 15. I have spanked them ( a few swats on the tush only) They are not aggressive ! They are not angery children. But they stoped te behavior. Spanking doesnt scar a child, beatting a child does, big difference.

If you let your children run wild your doing them more harm them a spanking does . You can usually tell the kids that the parents dont believe in spanking. They act like asses in public

And please get off your high horses to the ones that said where are they getting the swear words from. Everyone loses their temper and slips...... and my daughter came home from church with " fuc*er.......... I was like OMG where did you hear that at. She said the kids all agreed the teacher in sunday school was one mommy. They hear it at the store, school, pre-school, everywhere you go.

Answer 9

hi hun, i understand your dilemma but what if the spank doesn't work? where will you go from there. personally i believe a child should earn their privileges, so for her being naughty take some away, for her good behaviour reward them back. she cant go without all her toys can she? nor can she go without all her friends. you've managed all the years without spanking so why start now? if you choose to spank i hope for your sake it works, ask yourself this, what if she laughs at you? what if she tries to retaliate? what if she takes her frustration out even more on her siblings? if you spank one child then you need to start spanking all of them! exclude her for bad behaviour, she's only small and the last thing she'll want is that. i wish you the best of luck with whatever you choose. i hope if you do choose to spank that you dont end up feeling worse than she does xxxx

Answer 10

where exactly is your 5 year old gettitng the swear words from???

that is who you need to deal with..the one she is getting the words from

kids do as they learn..so..she has learnt alot of swear words from somewhere..she was not born knowing them...lol...and she has learnt being angry and agressive from somewhere to..
what she needs is postive reinforcment...talk to her, as you want her to talk to the others..be a good role modle..make sure people around her are being postive..not always yelling at her.
If a child grows in house where there is lots of yelling..swearing..watchi8ng tv with violence and swearing etc..hmmm..it is no strange thing the child sees this is a way to handle things and get what she wants.
If she is angry for something..let her cool down somewhere..do not get all yelling at her..that will just show her to yell back..let her cool down..then go tlak to her of what is wrong. You might need to getnly remove her to a quite spot so she can do her yelling etc untl she calms down. let her know when she is ready..you will come to talk to her.
But leave out the yelling yourself..and being angry yourself..how will she ever learn how to control herself and how to deal with things toher than swearing etc..if she is not shown it herself?

Answer 11

A spanking once in a while can't hurt.
But instead try time out. If that doesn't work, she is old enough to understand that every time she's mean to her sister you'll take something away from her, her favorite doll, or no storytime, or she can't watch her favorite TV program, etc. And when she's good, she'll get the toy or whatever you took away back.
That works for my 2 boys.
Good luck and a lot of patience.