In January of 2007 I received a phone call that my mother in-law was in the hospital.?

Question

In January of 2007 I received a phone call that my mother in-law was in the hospital. She was just going in to have Gall Bladder surgery. I notified my husband it was a simple easy surgery. My mother in-law came out of the surgery ok sick but ok. Two days later I receive another phone call saying she is bleeding out and needs emergency surgery. So I then sent another message to my husband letting him know. Naturally he was worried. So she came out ok and ended up having her spleen removed. I notified my husband once again that she was ok. One day later I received another call from the hospital that his mom was dieing and had to have another surgery to release pressure in her stomach. There was so much swelling that her heart, lungs was failing. So she ended up on life support. I sent my first Red Cross message for my husband to return home. Well he came home and mom got a little better, but then crashed again. We had so much to take care of for her. Her finances, medical bills, insurance, disability, social security and legal affairs were all needing to be taken care of. With only a short leave granted, and no will, or power of attorney there was little he could get accomplished. The hospital did give him all medical say so, because he was the only one his mom had and she had told her case worker that she wanted him to, in case something happened to her. When his leave was up he left to go back to Iraq without having time to take care of everything and with dealing with his mother telling him, “please don’t leave me son”. Once I was back home, and he was on his way back to Iraq the phone calls started coming in with her health going up and down, as well as the hospital needing him there to make decisions for her.. So I had to email him and do what I could to get him on the phone with the hospital. Then with the hospitals guidance, we sent another Red Cross message to get him home for his mom. The message was sent with all the proper info from Doctors and Administration. I could not make these decisions, or handle any of her affairs. No one would even talk to me about them. The Army then refused to send him home, just because he had been home prior to this for the same reason. As we all know it takes time to get things in order and done. So I went to his chain of command here in the states. They have been so helpful. They verified that all the information was true, and he really needed to be sent back to take care of his mother’s affairs, and to be with her. All I hear from the rear command is he will be leaving the next day, or soon they will have him on a flight. After three weeks and matters getting worse, he is still not home. From over in Iraq he is not being told nothing, and later finding out that it has been denied three times. I can not understand why his battalion will not release him to come back to take care of his mother. My husband is not the only solider this is happening to. I am hearing more and more of this kind of thing happening in this unit, I just wonder if it is an Army wide dilemma. The Army's Saying is, "Soldiers and Family Always," Where's that coming into play here. There's nobody that can make decisions on his mothers behalf but him. The Army is playing politics with me, and giving us the run around. They tell you what you want to hear. The command here at Division level has been more than helpful but why does the middle guy seem to have a problem with taking care of one of his soldiers and family, like he told us before my husband was sent over there. Well the battalion commander is mad at me because I over stepped him, and now my husband and his mom has to pay for it. Why does the Army let him get away with it? They still today are refusing to send him home and delaying everything that is being sent from Division. I have the 1st Cav Division here fighting to have him home and over in Iraq a Battalion Commander that is refusing to let him come home because I over stepped him, to take care of my family. If the shoe was on the other foot, I bet things would be different. Can somebody put a stop to the way our soldiers and when I say that I am meaning husbands, wives, sons, and daughters are being treated over seas by commands that say one thing but do another. This needs to end here and now! We need to wake up and realize that they are human and if they are worried about home and not the job at hand over there in Iraq then somebody is going to get hurt or killed because someone was not in the right state of mind. Then they will see that our soldiers are not robots. It should not take that for them to see they are human too. We all want them home, we know there is a war at hand and they are needed there, but we need them home too for family issues as well. PLEASE STOP AND LET THE PUBLIC KNOW HOW THEY ARE REALLY BEING TREATED SO OUR FUTURE SOLIDERS DO NOT GET THE SAME TREATMEANT.

Answer 1

Mission first. always. yes, there are lots of people currently deployed who have urgent matters to take care of at home.. and they can't, because they are needed where they are. it sucks, but it isn;t personal, and the Army isn't denying him deliberately.

YOU should have been the one named as Arbitor/Executor/go to person.

Answer 2

It is usually the Commander's descretion as to whether or not to allow the soldier to come home. If the unit is short handed, they need all hands on and can't afford to lose more than they have either to casualties or to R & R. Sometimes, units have more compassionate Commanders however that is not always the case.

Unfortunately, that is the way the military works.

Answer 3

i dont believe that was a question. and yes thats how it is over seas. it sucks but while you are over in iraq its mission first people always but really mission always people sometimes. ive been so, ya.

Answer 4

If you haven't already done so, you need to get your Congressman involved.

Answer 5

The answer to your question is you need a weblog instead of Y! Answers.

Answer 6

that's the army, a bunch of losers and nobody cares about it.
sorry to hear what happen to you and your family

Answer 7

War is hell! It will that way forever!