After being engaged for 4 years me and my girl broke up about 8 months ago. Since then she has gotten involved heavily in cocaine and a very bad crowd. It has caused her to scream for attention, and occasionally help. However, every time she makes a scream for help to me she goes back to her old ways within a week. I love this girl, so much i know I should let go but i still want to see her get better. Two days ago I got a desperate plea saying she wants to change her life and get off of everything for once and get back on a better track with and/or without myself. I am willing to help, but i told her i am fearful she will fall right back into her hole. I NEED HELP, WHAT SHOULD I DO?
2007-03-11 07:55:22 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I forgot to add we are going in two separate directions. Her drug problem caused her university to tell her she wasted 4 years. She also threw away great internships at places such as MTV and DejJam for a job as a manager at an Abercrombie & Fitch...it's upsetting someone would have so much promise, just to throw it all away for a powder processed in Chico's basement...
2007-03-11 08:13:35 · update #1
If she keeps falling back into her old ways then she truely doesn't want to accept your help. Nor does she respect it. Only she can change herself. Suggest a rehab center or two. Then wish her luck and move on. You don't want to become her personal therapist. It will only stress you out and hold you back from what you truely deserve.
2007-03-11 08:05:57 · answer #1 · answered by karl_2676 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you still love her and want to be with her (aside from the drugs and bad crowd) help her fix her life. Get her into rehab. Just remember, addiction is a lifelong problem. When and if she beats it, it will always be an issue for her. This will never go away and you will have to deal with it for the rest of your lives. If you don't want to get back with her, regardless of whether she changes her life, stay away. Your involvement in her life will only enable her to continue this cycle. She believes you will come running every time, and she will never change b/c she knows she doensn't have to. So, if you do not want to be with her, tell her your relationship is over and she needs help - help that you can't give her. Then let it go. She is not your responsibility and being involved will hurt you sooner or later. Cut ties with her. Don't respond to phone call, emails and don't open the door if she comes knocking. She chose this for herself and you shouldn't have to be the one to clean up her life. It must come from her. No amount of care from you (or anyone else) will help if she, herself, doesn't begin that journey back to life. My advice, let her go. If you can't do it, you are in for a very difficult life. Not that she will never get clean, but for an addict, it's a long hard road. Good luck!
2007-03-11 15:11:11 · answer #2 · answered by ejc_360 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am a recovering addict and played that game so many times its called minlebution, we are so good at it, i think you should call cocaine anonymous and they will have intervention,cuz they could tell if she is playing games and you are too close to her....that what my husband did they gave me an ultimatum rehab or jail its your call right now i went to rehab for 30 days been clean for 10 years,
2007-03-11 15:55:51 · answer #3 · answered by Dove4ever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a narcotics anonymous group for her to join. Helping one- on- one doesn't work even when professionals are called in. I work in a psychiatric facility and even there they use the power of the group.
2007-03-11 15:01:42 · answer #4 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋