A poem I wrote, what do U think?
The day's just beginning
You see the girl you love
You don't know what to do or say
You're friends
You talk to eachother everyday
On the phone, computer, etc
You're walking with her
Talking, laughing, having the time of your life
The sun hits ya, you smile at her she smiles at you
It's time to say goodbye
You hug and walk off
You're walking, past places where we played as kids
Later you talk to eachother
Time's ending
You say you'll see eachother tomorrow
You know what
You're in goddamn love
Is there anything else better in the world
2007-03-11 07:49:49 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think it's very romantic and cute!!
2007-03-11 07:55:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Though it doesn't follow normal rhyme scheme its from the heart and I like it a lot. I write 'em too so I feel ya.
2007-03-11 14:58:02 · answer #2 · answered by brandon_fargerson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its pretty good :)
"On the phone, computer, etc"-if you wrote something else than etc it would be better
"You're walking, past places where we played as kids" i think u made a mistake here where it says where we played shouldnt it be where you played?
2007-03-11 14:57:27 · answer #3 · answered by Jack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its cute. You only write such a poem when you,ve found someone you love. So goodluck, enjoy your love.
2007-03-11 14:58:02 · answer #4 · answered by lovely 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow... that seems like something i'm doing with a guy right now... except the "past places where we played as kids"
2007-03-11 14:56:06 · answer #5 · answered by freezie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I liked it! You should try writing song lyrics
2007-03-11 14:55:22 · answer #6 · answered by snapdragon747 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It pains me to say this, but it was actually better as prose.
2007-03-11 14:53:01 · answer #7 · answered by parrotsandgrog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh brother you need to get laid
2007-03-11 15:02:37 · answer #8 · answered by Ze'ev X 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
loved it!
2007-03-11 15:01:37 · answer #9 · answered by Dark~Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋