Parents: if your daughter were to create a website, what would be your rules?

Question

In particular, I would be creating a website (with my own domain name/host) that would contain photos, bios, interviews, videos, and links regarding my friend's band who was just signed by Interscope Records.

I tried the whole myspace/xanga thing before, and yeah, that didn't exactly work. My parents knew about all of those cases involving child molesters and what not, so I am completely done with that.

But keeping in mind that that is where their concerns are coming from, what would be your rules as to what I could include/do with this website? Thus far, I have these rules, which were established as general internet rules after the myspace scenario:

Do not talk badly about your parents, family, or life
Do not swear
Do not post any thing obscene
Do not post any personal information
Do not post e-mail addresses or contact forms
Do not post about breaking the law or any rules

As a parent, what other concerns would you have?

What I want the website to include, thus far:

A photo gallery of the band, which might include middle fingers, and no-shirt photos (but nothing more).

A bio for each band member, including instruments, how they got involved in the band, age, status (single/in relationship), goals for group, etc

Bio on the band altogether; how did this band get started, and what happened along the way?

Links to band members' individual myspace pages (and these people DO have friends in their friends lists that completely break my rules)

A link to buy the CD

Link to Interscope Records

Possibly a videographed biography of the band that includes pictures and plays the best song of the group in the background.

And in the bottom corner of the head page, I would really like to put my first and last name, but nothing more, just:

"Created and Managed by "Jane Doe"

Oh yeah, and I cannot have a profile within the site

I would completely consider not even having a link to the webmaster's e-mail because my parents would probably say that that is giving out my e-mail address.


But thanks for all of the suggestions! Keep them coming!

On the same note, though, I would kind of like to have an e-mail link so that fans who visit the site can submitt photos and such. I want them to be a part of this too.

After everything that happened with myspace, I am unbelievably paranoid as to how to bring this up with my parents; thus far, I have like 15 pages typed up of FAQ/everything that will and won't be included on the site. I won't even be asking them about it for another 3 weeks (and what I mean by that is that I will have to iron out all of the details/possbile questions beforehand).

The purpose of the website would be to advertise. Before I came up with the notion, I e-mailed over 2,000 radio stations simply telling them about the band, but now, I'm thinking that maybe I can SHOW them.

and to the one that isn't a parent; thanks for the last name concern.

meesh: Actually, they're based out of Las Vegas, and I'm on the other side of the country.

In regards to what you're saying, the last thing that I want this website to be about is me. One thing that I have and will never do is post any kind of photo of myself on the internet. I've learned from my myspace/xanga experience that I cannot post a single thing about myself; my age, location, physical traits, personality, activities, school, home life, flaws, none of that.

[and I hope that you're right about them approving!]

Which of these photos would be innapropriate? I did not create this video, by the way:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPDl73z21Lk

Answer 1

I'm not a parent, but I'll be having a little girl in a few weeks.

On top of what you mentioned, I'd also want to make sure that there were no pictures of my daughter up there. No comments or allusions to the location - if it is a small, local band, that is just getting started, chances are they perform near your home right? I wouldn't want any hint of where you lived on there. No talking about your school, your activities, anything that could allow someone to find you. It's easy to put things together - a picture of you, a brief blurb that mentions where you live, and talking about your track team going to state means that someone could easily find you if they wanted to.

Also, no one should ever put their full name on the internet, child or adult. I'd consider your first name or maybe a false name, but not your full name.

If you want to have an email link, maybe you could set up an email address just for that purpose. One you didn't use for anything else. Use an anonymous name - [e-mail] - so that it's harder to find out who you are.

It sounds like you have this really planned out, and have considered your parents' concerns. I'd say you have a decent chance at getting your parents to sign off on this. They will appreciate the time you took to plan it and will definitely be impressed with the level of responsibility you have taken as far as their fears and your personal safety are concerned.

Answer 2

I'm not a parent here, but I have these additional tips for you:

Remember that whatever you put together will be viewable by anybody and everybody in the world. The internet is a lot more public a place than people realize. Consider the notion that somebody looking to hire you to work for them a few years down the road might do an internet search for your name and hobbies, and if something comes up that might look a little off about your personal doings from a few years ago, that could pose bad news for your character assessment and you might not get that job.

Also, as a parent, I would probably set a firm rule of "Avoid using your last name." though that would probably go under the "personal information" clause you already have there.

Also, there is hardly much point in putting together a web site if you aren't going to include some method by which your readers can get in touch with you. That said, I would definitely recommend the use of a form as it helps keep e-mail spammers at bay.

Different children may have their own safety concerns as well. If the web had been around when I was younger, under no circumstances would my mother have allowed me to post pictures of myself for very specific personal safety reasons that I won't go into here except to say that even as an adult, I don't have any unmodified pictures of myself on my personal web site for the same reasons.

The child shouldn't have an e-mail address (or IM address) if the child isn't prepared to treat every message as if it comes from a complete and total stranger. If you can't think about being safe, you're not likely to be safe.

Those are my thoughts. I hope they have been helpful.

Answer 3

My rule would be to let me monitor the site and if I find anything inappropriate, it needs to get removed immediately.
It's definatly hard because you never know what random psycho will look up your site and become obsessed with you. I would also monitor all the e-mail generated through the site to look for anything susupicious.
Otherwise, it sounds like you've got the basic rules down.

Answer 4

Well there's not going to be Internet in my husband's house so I don't have anything to worry about. Girls have no reason to be on the Internet in the first place. Too many dangers for them.

Answer 5

sounds like you guys have it covered. The only rule i WOULDN"T have that you and your parents have come up with is the first one. I want my daughters to be able to voice their frustrations, even if they are directed towards me or their life. Good luck with your site.

Answer 6

You pretty much answered your own question! You seem to be smart. You know what's right and wrong. Go with what your heart says.

Answer 7

That she does not strip to the webcam so I have to be embarassed at work again with my horny daughter taking it all off for the world to see.