My bf has received texts & emails from a "good friend" of his that said things like "I love you" & "you're my special someone". I asked him if he told her to stop & he said he dealt with it, but he still continued to get messages from her. I then found out he sent emails and texts to her saying things such as "I think about you everyday" & "I luv/love you" blah blah blah. He said he didn't mean those phrases in "that way" & he just says those to her cuz she has told him she feels lonely/forgotten a lot (she used to live here & had a lot of friends here) & he just wanted to make her feel better.
So yeah. Those messages kinda annoyed me. I told a friend about them & she said that's cheating. I mean, they really hurt me, but they're just texts.......What do you think?
Oh, & if it is considered cheating, should I feel justified in asking him to delete her off of messenger? Or not talking to her at all? I'm not interested in being a b*tch here... but still...?
2007-03-11 07:02:50 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
yes he's cheating, those are the things he should only be saying to you, they are not 'friendly' they are blatently flirting, and if the texts etc are going both ways I would be highly suspicious
you're worth more than that, i'd kick him into touch a.s.a.p
good luck xx
2007-03-11 07:06:36 · answer #1 · answered by Angelic Julie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you don't trust him now, you probably never will, and eventually he probably will cheat because he's been accused of it.
If, up until these messages, you have trusted him so far, I would suggest that you carry on trusting him for the moment.
What I would do is this; tell him you are ok with him having a good female friend, and that you think it would be nice if you could meet her. Maybe get him to ask her to bring a date along so you can all go out as a foursome somewhere.
Ultimately, if he refuses the idea, or she declines, there MIGHT have been something going on.
If they both agree, and you get to meet her, you will know by body language how close they have been in the past.
And if they were/are really just true good friends, you might even get to like her yourself, and she can tell you all the gossip about your boyfriends past too!
Good luck
2007-03-11 14:15:55 · answer #2 · answered by wonkyfella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like you thought this through pretty good.
So I guess what you're really asking is should you make it a possible issue between the two of you?
Yes. If not, when? It may be innocent. He may not be encouraging it. Still, it is not making you feel confident in your relationship with him. This is the point you need to make clear to him. Since your relationship is all about your feelings toward him right now, it is in the early stages. He may think it is farther along than you do.
So, there is only one thing to do. Pistol whip him. Naw.
The two of you must deal from a position of strength in the bond between the two of you. No accusations because you know better than to accuse with out documented facts able to withstand scrutiny. You need to explain that this is behavior you don't like and he needs to know that it hurts. Ask him what he wants to do to stop the hurt. Let him decide because it is his problem. If there is a next time, then it is your problem.
2007-03-11 14:22:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pull your head out of your %^& Hello are you the girlfriend or is she you need to think about that. Sounds like your boyfriend might not be just your boyfriend as excuses go read some of the other cheating questions and answers on this website these are universal bullcrap excuses for oh s$%t I just got busted. Guys don't say I love you unless they mean it and even then it's hard to get out of there mouth half the time.
2007-03-13 07:22:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have thr right to get mad and tell him to delete her number and from his email. I've been through that once with my boyfriend and i know the feeling when you read something like that. I felt like beating that girl`s a**. When a girl say i love you to your boyfriend that means she dont respect you or your relationship, and your boyfriend shouldnt be talking to her at all PERIOD! You should feel hurt by this because simple message can mean something...and sometimes even bigger meanings. Talk to your boyfriend as soon as possible about this and tell him how you really feel about that girl who's messaging him. Ask him if he told her that he has a girlfriend because its seems like they're acting like there single.
2007-03-11 14:10:37 · answer #5 · answered by honeyy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's cheating. He shouldnt be telling her that he "luv/loves" her because he's with you and he should be worried that she'll take it the wrong way. And she told him that he's her "special someone"? come on. a "good friend" doesnt say that to you. get rid of him... and maybe one day b4 you get rid of him, you text her and tell her that youre his gf and you dont appreciate the things that she says to him, and just see if she comes back with "but we're just good friends" I think she'll just as suprised to hear You're his g/f b/c she probably is too!!! So, i say get rid of this cheater. no woman deserves this. Good luck finding a better man, you wont need it though, there are Tons better than this cheatig scumbag...
2007-03-11 14:09:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're his GF not his wife. Yes, he's cheating it's pretty obvious, perhaps he has not done the deed yet but that seems just a matter of opportunity.
The text mssgs are completely inappropriate if you are his GF but sounds like his little head has taken over.
2007-03-11 14:12:12 · answer #7 · answered by huckleberry1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People can say I love you your friend but those messages everyday is not a good thing. Your my special someone can't be taken any other way besides a relationship so it does sound like it. He's your boyfriend so maybe you should talk to him.
2007-03-11 14:08:34 · answer #8 · answered by Je vous aime. ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yeah when me and my man got to together i went through the same thing, so what i did i started doing the same thing as he did, but i did not say i love u and all that i just text ex's and friends and talk to them then, and yeah they r very annoying i know, but after about a week of me doing the same thing he finally told her u got to stop this, i have a women, she keep it up for a while then she finally stop, and no your not trying to be a "b".
2007-03-11 14:08:03 · answer #9 · answered by nene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is not willing to respect the fact that its bothering you then he is just a looser. He is willing to consider her feelings over yours and that is just wrong. He needs to change his number and let it be a high an bye thing. If it continues you should just really break things off cause its only going to get worse and you are the one who is going to get hurt in this whole ordeal.
2007-03-11 14:07:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. You are like 12 years old!
Yes, it is inappropriate and if he's texting her he is likely doing more then that.
If I were you I would definately remove her from the messenger. Then I would study hard, grow up to be an adult and meet someone much better.
2007-03-11 14:07:39 · answer #11 · answered by iampatsajak 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋