I absolutely love my guy. He means the world to me but I always get the feeling that it's a doomed relationship. He's such a great guy and I feel as if I don't deserve him and he'll realize it and find another girl.
I have expressed my concerns with him and now I feel as if I'm annoying him because he has to keep reassuring his feelings towards me. I don't know how to handle my pessimism because I'm afraid of getting hurt again and it's causing our relationship to suffer a little and the last thing I want is for that to happen.
What would you do to stop thinking so negatively about a relationship? Is it annoying to the significant other if you're vocal about your pessimism about the relationship?
2007-03-11 06:59:39 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You sound insecure. It's normal to want to avoid being emotionally hurt again. A huge part of relationships is TRUST. Trust him and trust yourself. He's getting tired of your insecurity. Have some self confidence and take your relationship day by day.
2007-03-11 07:05:34 · answer #1 · answered by Tellin' U Da Truth! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was once in a similar relationship and yes I was the pessimistic one. I always wanted to know that I was the only one he was dating and loved all the time. For some reason I just needed the reassurance. And yes he became tired of having to reassure me everyday that I was the one he cared for and loved. But still that wasn't enough for me. So learn from my stupidity because I doubted him for no reason and ended up losing a wonderful man. I have realized that my pessimism stemmed from lack of insecurity and trust on my part from past relationships gone wrong. Take his word for it. If he says he loves you and wants to be with you then believe it. Don't push him out of your life by continuing to be pessimistic about anything and everything in the relationship. You are going to drive him away with this attitude. No matter how much he cares for you eventually if you continue to be pessimistic in the relationship he will buckle and leave because he won't be able to handle it anymore. If there is nothing wrong in the relationship leave it along and be happy with what the two of you have together now. You don't want to look back and regret making a big mistake in losing him because of your pessimism. Take it one day at a time and learn to stop being so negative before you find yourself alone and wishing you hadn't been so pessimistic.
2007-03-11 14:15:46 · answer #2 · answered by Denese 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i can tell you that the last guy i dated was like you and he didn't think he deserved me.. but the problem was that He Didn't voice his opinions to me so i had no idea.. and then when he did he was breaking up with me for some other "uglier less-smart" girl.. because some guys (and girls in your case) are just like that.. it's called jealousy. and in these cases it can get out of control and ruin your relationship. because relationships are built on TRUST. if you don't trust him then it probably won't work out.. sorry. i understand what you are going through though, but you have to realize if You want to keep him you are going to have to Work At It and give it your all.. because i would never wish on you what happened to me. but some people just like to feel they have control in the relationship, because they don't have enough confidence and self-esteem in themselves.. like you don't. if your guy is reassuring you all the time that's a really good sign.. because he really cares about you and wants to make you realize this. but you have to Let him.. because if you just keep staying how you are and not even Attempting to change then that "little green monster" is going to break up your relationship. you need to realize that he IS with you now.. enjoy what you have for the moment! sure, relationships end.. but do you want to look back on this one with regrets knowing you didn't give it all you could and be able to be comfortable and experience all the joys a relationship can bring WHILE You have it. whatever happens later on happens later.. and it might Not even happen. but if it does and you break up and get hurt then break-ups happen and it wasn't meant to be. but for right now just ENJOY and LIVE THE MOMENT!!! you can't live by "what if's...." good luck and best wishes to you!!! and you DO deserve him.. he obviously thinks so or he wouldn't be with you! :) never forget your wonderful qualities!!! stay POSITIVE!!
2007-03-11 14:10:36 · answer #3 · answered by coolio 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to TRUST him! Really hear what he is saying, you already know that your pessimism is from hurt situations you have been involved in prior to him. But this is a new situation! Allow yourself to break conditioned patterns of thinking...Just because you have a thought does not mean it's a reality...Really hear what he has to say and then trust him. Let your paranoid, pessamistic thoughts fade. They will in time. You have to recondition your thinking and believe within yourself that you DO deserve a really great guy.
2007-03-11 14:06:14 · answer #4 · answered by leelee53 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋