Is there anyone else like me? Read on...?

Question

About four years ago my dad went to hospital as he was diagnosed with liver failure. Not from abuse but just a natural defect. Anyway. He went a little bit crazy from all the toxins and some things were said that tore my whole family in two. Well more like the whole of my dads family against my mum. and vice versa. For a while i wasnt even allowed to talk to my cousin who i view like he's my brother. We are really close. I have just started talking to my dads family again but i feel like my mum resents me for it. She keeps looking over my shoulder at who i'm talking to what i'm doing etc. And goes ape if i talk about my family anything positive. She denys anything and everything like i'm the dumb bad guy. I'm just wondering is it normal for her to behave like i'm the enemy for respecting my family? I know she's been cast out but she wont say sorry for the things she's done. The other side are quite willing to. But she wont budge is there anything i can do????

Answer 1

Firstly, understand where your Mom is coming from. Her husband is sick, and his family are all against her. She probably is really sad inside, but also too proud to admit it. Seeing that you are ready to forgive and move on is a good sign for her. You might not see it yet, but your Mom will eventually warm up to your Dad's family again. She just needs time to cool things off. Just maintain contact with your Dad's family, but also be supportive of your Mom, be more patient with her. Try not to worsen the gap between her and your Dad's folks by supressing bad comments from either side. Instead, continue telling your Mom that your aunts/uncles are willing to reconciliate. Pray for your harmony in your family.

Answer 2

No, that's not normal. But you can talk to your family.

Killer Identified

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Answer 3

Don't let her do this to you. If she wants to keep a life-long grudge, then so be it. But you should keep your respect for your mum too, not just the other side of the family. Don't let her make your life miserable. Don't take sides. Try to go on like nothing ever happened. Be extra nice to her. She must feel so awful. She might start to soften if you keep on loving her and respecting her, as well.

Answer 4

You probably don't need to be the one patching the family up... let it die down for a while and do your work at a later point.

Keep in mind while this might be your blood relatives, "in-laws" are not much more than neighbors. Everyone expects your loyalty on their side. It's better not to be loyal to either side and let them work it out for themselves (which may never happen).

Only at a point where you feel you can do some good is it worth getting involved and getting yourself damaged in return.

Answer 5

There's nothing you can do that you aren't already doing. You can't control anybody's actions or attitudes but your own. Just try to remain neutral.

Answer 6

why should you have to suffer for their mistakes? she made her bed let her lie in it