Ok, so...
my boyfriend and i have been dating for a while now. i dont approve of some things that he does, when he askes me what's bothering me i tell him and he doesnt care! like he smokes, and goes off with this girl who is one of his ex-girlfriends. when i tell him that this upsets me he just blows me off and says "get over yourself". i really like him and i'm willing to work things out. we have already broken up once, we started back up about a week or 2 ago. i'm trying to make it work but he isnt putting forth the effort. when there is a chance to hang out he doesnt, when there is a chance to go see a movie or dinner he goes out with his friends, or goes for a lil while and then leaves. i have no clue where he's going....what should i do??
2007-03-11 05:56:38 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Break up with him. If he really did care about you, he would be scared of losing you and would do Anything to keep you. It's like he's just using you.
2007-03-11 05:59:25 · answer #1 · answered by vexen431 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember that in a relationship, a person's actions speak much louder than their words. A person who doesn't seem to want to spend time with you, no matter what they say, are probably not very interested in the relationship. There are always factors to be taken into account like job and family responsibilities but if their free time is spent more somewhere else rather than with you, they are probably not too interested in the relationship. The most likely pitfall in considering these things is your own desires. If you want it to work, you will likely be influenced by your desire for it to work and ignore the obvious signs which almost always turns out to be a negative towards your own happiness. One person cannot work out everything in a relationship, it must be an effort on both peoples part and if one person isn't seemingly willing to work on it, then the best thing may be to walk away even if you don't really want to. There are other people out there and there is a good chance that you would be happier with one of them...
2007-03-11 13:14:29 · answer #2 · answered by C W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To tell the blunt truth, I do not think this guy is really into you.
You should go ahead break up, get over him and move on.
Unless you have really, really low self-esteem and think you can't live without the jerk, and you love his abuse. If you can accept the way things are then put up and shut-up.
But...
I think you are better then this. Think more highly of yourself and do you. Look for a guy that has the same interests as you, who loves his health and yours and does not want to jeopardize it with smoking. Who likes hanging out with you, not exgirfriends, and buddies. But you have to let a guy hang with his buds sometime, like you may want to hang with your girls.
Drop the loser already, get real, and find a REAL MAN.
But if you are just a teenager, don't worry yourself, guys are going to come and go. You have many experiences ahead.
2007-03-11 13:11:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are all about compromise. No relationship is perfect, so you have to learn to get along with eachother and deal with some things you really don't want too. But, he should be willing to do the same. Don't sell yourself short for this guy. If smoking and parties from this guy is not what you want and he isn't willing to give them up, then this relationship is not going to work. Sorry. :(
2007-03-11 13:02:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry hun but u really need to ask yourself if your happy. It sounds like your not and your just putting yourself in a situation to get hurt. I would advise breaking up with him agian and even if he wants to get back together u need to give him some time to realize how valuble u r and that he doesnt have to be perfect but he needs to make some effort.
2007-03-11 13:02:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ah i think its time for you to break up with him. your being too passive about the whole thing when the answers are right there in your face.. he goes out and chills with his girlfriend?? that right there should of pissed you off enough to say goodbye. if he rather hangs out with his friends than with you, what does that tell you?? he doesn't value or respect you that much. your dealing with bullsh*t that you don't have to and he sees that. thats why he continues to blow you off because he knows he can. you need to break yourself from him and maybe he will start to appreciate you and start to make some changes.
2007-03-11 13:02:35 · answer #6 · answered by Blake 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. He doesn't respect you if he say's get over yourself.
2. Ask yourself this one question "can I live with him and all of his issues for the rest of my life?"
If the answer is no, then pack up and leave and find someone else. If the answer is yes, then try communicating your needs to him, seek counseling, etc.
good luck. I'm sure you have a good head on your shoulders - use it!
2007-03-11 13:01:48 · answer #7 · answered by Falina T. Rayon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet baby girl think of yourself better than that when someone takes you for granted who knows better you or him he feels that he can say and to do because yoooouuuu let him find out what makes yooooouuu happy enjoy what life has to offer and not what makes him happy if he was into you he would show you if i were you i would have bounced him out of my life along time ago you can do much better sweety.
2007-03-11 13:10:25 · answer #8 · answered by kimberly T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I think that if he doesnt care on what bothers you and that he doesnt listen to you then its best that you get over him because I think that you should deserve to be with someone who truly cares about you and would do anything to make you happy no matter what it is. So if you want to be with him then go ahead its your decision if you wanna be in a relationship like that.
2007-03-11 13:20:06 · answer #9 · answered by Ash 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finish with him. He is clearly an arrogant pig who does not have any thought for you your needs from the relationship or respect for what you feelings. There are many more guys out there who are going to be better for you. The longer you put up with his selfish behaviour the lower your self esteem will become and the harder it will be to move on. Please end it now.
2007-03-11 13:02:06 · answer #10 · answered by Skyblue Princess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
every one needs their space that shouldnt be a big deal so he goes out with friends maybe you guys should have certain days you guys hang out and days where he hangs out wiht his friends or maybe you could hang out with him and his friends, if you have to push this guy to hang out with you maybe you should find someone who appreciates your company but talk to him first and tell him how you feel if he doesnt try to fix things why should you there are plenty of hott men out there that are waiting for a girl like you so do what you do just make sure you do whats best for you
2007-03-11 13:06:20 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋