My father thinks that anyone who is below his standards for normal is 'retarded'. This has always bothered me because I don't have as high of expectations of others as he does. In the past 6 months I have found out the reason I'm so different is due to being AS. Now I don't know how to tell my father that I'm what he considers 'retarded'. We met when I was 17 and have only recently (10 years later) gotten to really know each other. I am confident about who I am yet, at the same time, don't want my father to reject me or be disappointed in who I am. Please give me your advice. Thanks.
2007-03-11 05:54:39 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Asperger's are very intelligent people. They just process life differently. It is my metaphysical belief that those noted as retarded or schizophrenic are actually tuning in on a higher frequency than the average human. Because you are gifted/different you think that you are the subnormal as defined by the the general populace.
I guess to get back to your question, it depends how important your father's opinion is to you. Given your history, he has not been a part of your life for long. You say you want him to not reject you. Sounds like he has already. Why would you tell him? Do you have to explain something?
Maybe you should just relax, be yourself & let the relationship evolve naturally.
2007-03-11 06:08:10 · answer #1 · answered by ♣Hey jude♣ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with your father. Tell your father that you are no different from anyone else. Let him know that you still want him in your life. If he can't accept that fact that you have A.S. then he isn't worth wasting time on. You shouldn't be afraid to tell your father. He is your father and should love you no matter what. I hate the fact that people use the word retarded. I've been working with special needs children for 6 years now, and I just hate that word. Good Luck.
2007-03-11 06:18:46 · answer #2 · answered by Jaime A 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe youre not seeing it rightly. when some people think or say something is retarded, they mean it loosely. it is just a slang word, even though it shouldnt be. so maybe he is okay with differences, but like most people gets frustrated sometimes and then happens to use a word he probably shouldnt but that is somewhat acceptable and then calls it retarded. i have a feeling this is it. and he will probably be okay.
actually one of the things about aspergers is that a person with it might not be able to recognize that he is using the term loosely. they might take the term very seriously. i might be wrong, but i am wondering if this is the case. any human with a heart would accept their daughter with aspergers. it is not the worse issue to have actually. you should tell your dad. im sure he will stop saying the word retarded automatically. take care.
2007-03-11 06:04:40 · answer #3 · answered by wcarolinew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, it's good to be confident in who you are. Second, if he's really going to be your "Dad", you should tell him. You cannot control how he reacts. You can only try to have a good relationship with him based on truth and honesty. If he loves you and is interested in your well being, that's GREAT! If not, do you want to know now or 10 years from now, after you've invested alot of time and energy in someone who doesn't care about you? You are whom you are. Ask him to sit down and print this out and show him. I'll bet he's supportive of you.
Good luck and best wishes!
2007-03-11 06:03:06 · answer #4 · answered by Partisanshipsux 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a doctor do it. If it's just you doing it he will likely be convinced that you are either doing it to get attention or just making excuses for being a "retard"
2007-03-11 05:57:54 · answer #5 · answered by alwaysmoose 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look if it was me I just wouldnt tell him. He should be judging you on yourself not on a disease you have that you cant help. You are a grown woman you dont need to tell Dad everything anymore and obviously he wasnt there for you when you were young. If he ever finds out just tell him you thought he knew.
2007-03-11 06:01:34 · answer #6 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he sees you as a son/daughterm then he will understand. If he rejects you, he was never a good enough of a father to begin with. "Accept me for who I am."
2007-03-11 05:58:12 · answer #7 · answered by mrhuangsta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having AS is a medical condiiton and nothing to be ashamed of. Just tell him. Hopefully, he is mature enough to handle this information and want to help you any way he can.
2007-03-11 05:57:55 · answer #8 · answered by ra63 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to worry. You will find that when he knows you are not what he expected his opinions will change dramatically. He will not want to lose face.
2007-03-11 05:59:52 · answer #9 · answered by Tony A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
part of being a father is accepting your kids for who they are if he doesnt tell him how that makes you feel
2007-03-11 05:57:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋