Help me with my 2 year old please?

Question

My son is 2 and is in daycare. Before daycare we never had this problem so I dont know if daycare has done this to him. The problem is when we are anywhere he SCREAMS so loud. I mean if he dont get his way he screams, if he is excited he screams. He wont stop. It is super high pitch. I've gave him timeout and told him he cant scream like that but it dont work. His daddy gives in so he dont have to hear it and I've told him that he is just hurting him in the long run. What do I do? I cant handle it, and I cant stand to take him to a public place. Like a few days ago we took him to the zoo and he would scream in the buildings and it would echo and I had people staring at me like take care of your son. I am trying so hard. What do I do?

ive tried spankings that makes the screaming intensify, even though I dont spank hard. I just give him a tap to let him know what he did was wrong.

Daycare says the only problem that they have with him is that he is too hyper. They say he has a hard time listening but he has had ear problems. Hes had major ear infections so he doesn't hear right, which has hindered his talking too. He can talk somewhat but still uses the "umm umm umm" approach and we are trying to get him to talk, if any ideas on that please help. Daycare has helped him to talk more but still not great. His daycare actually is a good daycare, its just the kids may scream and stuff and that may be where he picked it up.

Answer 1

Instead of punishing him after the fact, I would recomened doing everything you can to let him know what is expected. For example you could tell him that he needs to use an 'inside voice' or something. Tell him what you WANT him to do and not what you DON'T want him to do. Many children don't hear the 'don't' part of a command. for example 'don't scream' may be heard as 'scream'. Every behavior has a function...either to OBTAIN something or to get OUT of something. What do you think he is trying to get or get out of? Does he have language? He needs to be able to replace this behavior with one that will substitute for screaming. It won't just disapear unless he has something else to draw on or to use besdies screaming. I doubt daycare 'did' this to him. When he screams, try to figure out why...if he is screaming because he didn't get what he wants, first acknowledge his feeling "I know...you're really disapointed" and then remind him of the expectation ("use words" or "use an inside voice"). When he is excited, again, acknowledge the feeling "wow...you're really excited. You really like that" or something like that. Also, you may need to start some kind of reward system for appropriate behavior instead of punishing inappropriate behavior. Punishing is not working, right? I would really encrouage you to reward what you want, let him know the expectations, and acknowledge his feelings. Good luck, hope this helps.

edit: after reading about his limited language, you may want to consider an early intervention evaluation. Most states provide services for children birth to 3 who need some help with things like language. Call your local school district or dept of human services and ask who provides EI (Early Intervention) services in your area. It sounds like because of his limited language that he is using screaming as his way to communicate. A speech pathologist could probably really help with this.

Answer 2

If he does have ear problems than maybe his hearing problems got worse. That is why elderly people who forget to wear their hearing aids tend to scream when they talk. Because he doesnt have sufficient language to communicate what he is feeling he may tend to make those empty screams as a way of expressing his excitement or dismay. Suggest this theory to his ear specialist.

If this is not the case and he is just screaming to...scream, than tell him that there is a difference between an "inside voice" and an "outside voice" and that if he doesnt use his inside voice than he will have to suffer the consequence ...whether that be having a toy taken away or timeout in his room or whatever. But your husband needs to be on the same page. He is not helping you get to the root of the problem by giving in to your two year old's screams. He is teaching your son that he can get away with screaming and that is not right. You need to be consistant TOGETHER and if he wont be on the same page than you are not going to get anywhere with this problem.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

don't sound like a spanking situation, sounds like a do not give in, timeout situation. You are right, Dad is causing it to worsen. It very well could be the daycare. If he is getting away with it there, then he will try it with you too. You also have opened it up for him to learn this from other kids in the daycare which could happen with any setting. Spend the day at daycare and see what you think. Always check them out thoroughly.

Answer 4

If you tried talking to him, tried time outs, tried everything else, maybe it is time for a good 'ol fashioned spanking. I was disciplined this way as a child and I was very behaved. I knew that if I did something wrong, I would get a spanking, and this made me think before I did things. I don't see the sense in trying to reason with a child. You are the adult, and he must listen to you. All too much I see mothers in stores, with the same problem as you, trying to talk their kids out of doing things. Back when I was a child, if we acted up, misbehaved or sassed in public, or even at home, we knew what we had coming. I'm not saying beat your child, I am saying a few slaps on the behind to wake him up and let him know, hey this isn't ok for me to be doing. Many people will disagree with me on this, but those are the same people whose children act up in restaurants and tell their parents what they will and won't do.

Answer 5

That;s why they call them the terrible two....
They do pick things up for daycare... but you as a parent when they get home and see what they do is wrong, have to tell them off...
My son does the same thing... he came home one day and start screamming... His dad, smack him hard and everytime he scream he get the smack on his hands.... later on he knows that is wrong and stops it... now all I have to do is when he scream or talk loud is tell him off and he knows....
He knows he get a smack and go into his room if he does it... so keep doing the time out thing and keep hitting him...hard or soft is up to you but you also have to tell him is the wrong thing.... so he knows... do not give up as 2 years old know when they can get away with things... so keep doing it and by the long run, it will definetly help you!

Answer 6

It sounds like he is using screaming to get attention (or what he wants). Kids do not care if it is good attention or bad attention just as long as you are focusing on them. I think this way because he probably had one persons attention before he started daycare....now he has to share the caregivers attention with other kids. Trust me I know it is hard when you are in public but I learned to just walk away or tell your child if you do not stop we are leaving...if he doesn't stop pick him up and walk out of the store and go sit in the car. He will learn that his behavior will have undesirable reactions and stop. If this doesn't work talk to your pediatrician about his behavior...he/she might have some good ideas for you also.

Answer 7

First thing is get Dad on board. Second, speak with the daycare and see if they can help you pinpoint where this is coming from. My guess is he HAS to behave like this at daycare to be heard or maybe acknowledged. That may warrant looking inot other daycares. Maybe they aren't "present" and your son feels he needs to scream to get their attention. Once a child is used to doing that they often have a hard time turning it off. Start with the daycare. Also talk to him about it. Calmly ask him why he is screaming. Don't yell at him...as hard as that will be when he is screaming....ask him if he thinks mommy isn't listening. tell him it's hard to listen to him while he is yelling. Maybe he just has something to say and doesn't know how to convey it. Their brains are a mysterious world. My son, at about 2, would totally repeat himself if he thought I wasn't listening to him. He wanted me looking at him when he talked to me and that was from me telling him to look at me when he would get in trouble. I created that beast myself but it was easily fixed by letting him know mommy's listening. Good Luck-it's amazing what will happen if you talk to him.

Answer 8

my little boy(3) started screaming high pitched screams for no reason after starting day care, he still does it some but it has cut back. anytime he screams he has to go to the corner, spankings only made it worse. if we are in public he still goes to a corner. i have made him stand there at best buy walmart, sams, mcdonalds, the list could go forever. i know it takes more time but atleast it does help and he is usually better after that for a while, and the parents around you look at you with more respect.

Answer 9

1st thing you have to do is get on the same page with dad...whatever plan of action that you decide it has to be followed by both parents.......as for the screaming...just remove him from the situation....like at the zoo....just leave the zoo...period....don`t continue to walk around...explain to him that until, he learns to stop screaming like that you can`t stay and have fun...i know it may be an inconvenenience...but it won`t take long before he realizes there are consequences for his actions....and you are right he probably did get it from daycare....my son did

Answer 10

He has likely picked up this behavior from other kids. And being that he has had ear problems he may not be aware that he is screaming so loud.