My excitement of being an aunty was short lived as my sister lost the baby last night. what can i say to her that she hasnt already heard. should i send her something to cheer her up? Any good advice will be appreciated and any idiots on here will be reported plain and simple.
2007-03-11 05:49:26 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I am in another province and can't make the trip (due to work) otherwise i would be there for her.
2007-03-11 05:55:16 · update #1
she has now requested for none of us to contact her at all. she will call us when she is ready. this was sent via email. so should i still send something or just respect her wishes?
2007-03-11 07:21:26 · update #2
Call her and check on her, she may need someone to talk to. Dont ever say that it was gods will or god needed an angel because this will upset her, dont say that maybe there was something wrong with the baby because this will make her feel like something is wrong with her too. Just show her love and support until she gets threw this. There are websites that you can go to that will have stuff you could buy her to cheer her up. Heres a few
https://host328.ipowerweb.com/~littlean/osCommerce/catalog/index.php?cPath=27&osCsid=8dc0527f3601dd39dcf8d92827ff1b5d
www.thecomfortcompany.net/
www.myforeverchild.com/
Like I said just be there for her, youll think of something to say but just listen to her if she needs someone to talk to.
2007-03-11 06:18:06 · answer #1 · answered by ladidadida 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
UPDATE SINCE THE MORE INFO
Just e-amail daily (ro call 2 -3 times a week) with a note something like - Thinking of you - love you... no mention of how are you or the like...
let her know you're there for when she needs you
FIRST REPLY
loosing a baby is a loss just like any other in the fact that no matter what anyone else says it really doesn't dull the pain you are feeling right at that moment. Having gone through it no gifts cheered me up, and the cards and warm heartfelt sympathy wishes ment something but didn't help much. What you do is just tell her you love her and will be here if she ever needs anything from you. nothing more. Words at times like these for both parties are difficult and sometimes just holding her hand or giving a hug is the best. Sisters have a way of letting each other know more with a look or a touch than a million words could ever convey. I know my sister and I do. we've both been through it - it sucks, but the loving support of a sister is like no other. And one more thing that may sound odd - sorry if it comes out wrong. Try not to look at her with pity and worry in you eyes, I hope you understand tha comment - when people would look at me that way it just - I don't know how to put it into words but just try to look at her with love and support not pity. Does that make and sense ? I hope so and I hope I've helped at least a bit.
Good luck to you and your sister.
2007-03-11 06:02:25 · answer #2 · answered by Mum of 6 - newest born 8-25-07 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have had four loses and I tell ya the ONLY thing to do is let her know you are there for her emotionally and if she needs anything to let you know. Hnestly, there isn't ANYTHING you can do that will help and the more people that keep bringing it up the worse she will feel. You don't want to "abandon" her but she'll talk about it when she is ready. It's a VERY tough thing to deal with. The emotions are all over the place. She will hate life and love it all at the same time as well as have a tremendous amount of gilt because women can't help but feel it was their fault when in fact it is NEVER the mom's fault. Just give her a hug and let her grieve in her own rights. Good Luck.. I'm so sorry for her loss.
2007-03-11 06:16:16 · answer #3 · answered by proud2btysmom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, let me first tell you what NOT to say. Sayings like "it wasn't God's plan for you" or "it wasn't your time" or "everything has a reason" or "there was probably something wrong with it" or "you can have another one" or "your baby is in heaven" or "you can try again" - all of those hurt way more than they can ever expect to help, and some of them are downright offensive to someone who has just had their hopes and dreams shattered.
Treat your sister as normally as possible. Send her a "thinking of you" card with an invitation to talk if she needs you. A gift certificate with an open-ended expiration date to the salon when she feels better, or a gift card to her favorite bookstore would be a nice gesture as well. The most important thing, though - make sure that she knows it's okay to express herself and to talk about her feelings, and that she doesn't have to pretend like it never happened. (Sadly, a lot of women are made to feel this way, and it's simply not right.)
2007-03-11 06:21:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether a miscarriage or if baby was born it will be hard for her to accept. Just let her know you are there to talk when she is ready. She may not feel ready until she has past the denial stage. If you think she may want to see anyone stop by with a hug and open ears. Let her cry with you.
You just added details, a card and maybe a trinket for her followed up by a phone call is ok to let her know you are thinking of her. She will not forget so something to look back and have a fond memory is comforting.
2007-03-11 05:55:43 · answer #5 · answered by krispeds 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send her some flowers and tell her she is the best sister in the world. This is a terrible thing to happen to anyone and there is not much comfort in saying "I'm sorry and you can always try again" Just let her know your thinking of her and tell her if she wants to talk your there for her. remind her of fun and funny things you did as kids and adults together. And keep it light. So sorry for your loss.
2007-03-11 06:37:50 · answer #6 · answered by Kellie R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try to comfort her and let her know that everything happens for a reason and that you love her and you are there for her. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss. Good luck and God bless.
2007-03-11 05:55:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
she may jus want time to be alone, losing a baby is a very hard thing to cope with. you should just let her know that u are there for her is she needs you but dont keep bringing up the fact that she lost the baby to her. it could make matters worse
2007-03-11 05:55:12 · answer #8 · answered by Juliace & Cheyenne's Mommy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am sorry for her loss and the position in which you now find yourself! All you can do is let her vent, know you love her and be consoling. However, do not let it interfere with your joy as you have a right to celebrate. God bless you both!
2007-03-11 06:01:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i guess you should tell her that you love her and reassure her that it is not her fault that maybe it just wasn't time yet...and not to worry because you are there for her i cant think of anything you could buy her to cheer her up but you being there will help although she will probably be sad for a while all you can do is be there
2007-03-11 05:57:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋