Don't you hate it when people borrow things and don't return them?

Question

I seem to have this issue where friends, coworkers have a tendency to borrow things like money, magazines, etc. but then forget to pay me back, or return them in good condition if they do. It really is irritating that I have to make the effort to get things back when I'm the one who did them the favor to begin with. I'll hear things like "it was only 5 or ten bucks-lighten up." But when they needed the dough it sure seemed like a big deal. I know they always say be prepared to not see it again when you lend something of yours out, but then the person should also ask with the disclaimer that they want to keep the item not 'borrow' it. It's small enough where I'm not gonna end the friendship over it but I just find it inconsiderate that instead of apologizing over the oversight they usually get upset that you asked for it back or in the same condition. Now I tend to be less trusting but only other option is to say no all people all the time which is unfair to them. Any suggestions?

Plus, with the friends issue, I notice they pay other friends back but not me so it irritates me even more that they're considerate with other's stuff just not mine. If they were consistently inconsiderate I could accept it more as that's just the way they are. I've been told I'm too passive in asking for money or items back but I didn't realize the rude approach was the way to go. I mean I always return my borrowed items promptly the next day so I guess I expect the same consideration. I've even had bosses and superiors do it and forget too which irks me more as they make more money than u and still need to borrow from u. Of course I've learned my lesson, but whenever you meet someone new I tend not to judge them by the actions of others.'

Answer 1

Your experiences should tell you that there are certain people who never return things to others. Ben Franklin had it right. Neither a lender nor borrower be.
If someone asks to borrow something, simply tell them that you would like to discuss it later, as you have some other task that needs to be done right now. Emphasis on "right now" and walk away. Then...just forget about it.

Answer 2

Definitely. Some people are easy to take
advantage and it's a hard habit to break.
You have to ask for the thing back, and
if the person doesn't give it back to you,
the thing you SHOULD do is be assertive
and tell the person that they are thoughtless,
inconsiderate, and should return things.
That's what you should do, not scratch their
car, or harass them anonymously, or take
revenge. Lots of the time, the person will
try to make you yourself feel guilty about
wanting the item back and it's amazing how
often this button tactic works. As far as that
bigtime user paying other people back and
not you, that person figures you are softhearted,
or like a shoplifter thinks, well this store has all
this stuff, why shouldn't I just steal it? Not
paying a debt is just like stealing unless a
person is experiencing real hardship.

Answer 3

I thought about this alot a while back ago, and with Pop Culture the way it is...... I have come up with a great TV show, so here is my pitch:

This show will be called, I need my stuff back now.

People will submit letter and videos to the show asking them to retrive a certain item for a friend. They have to provide proof of legal ownership.

When all that is said and done, a group of highly trained ex-Military or SWAT will develop a plan to invade the home or intecept the person in possetion of said item and retrive it via tacticts used by them. It will include using flash bang granades, zip ties and burlap bags so at the end everyone in the room or location will be "tagged and bagged".

The item will be return to its original owner. I just think this will be funny as hell, and get ready for the law suits LOL.

Answer 4

I hate to admit it but based off of what you wrote, you come off as a bit of a push-over. Stop loaning things out and letting people borrow things. If you really feel compelled to loan something out you need to state your terms up front. If that person doesn't follow them, never loan anything to them again. I have many friends but there are only 3 that I will let borrow things or loan money to and if it's a large amount I put it in writing. When someone tells you don't worry about it it's only 5 or 10 dollars..tell them 'I'm glad you don't think that's much so you should have no problem giving it to me now" Stand up for yourself, apparently everyone knows your a push-over about things.

Answer 5

I know what you mean. I work in the fashion industry so I have a ton of clothes. My friends would always come over and "shop" in my closet. It got to the point that I can only let one of my friends do this because other people took very expensive items and then later claimed to have never borrowed them, so obviously I never saw those items again. Unfortunately this is a way that you learn who you can really trust and perhaps who your true friends are.

Answer 6

properly,she must be a Munafiq i.e. hypocrite. Rasulullah observed mentioned, “There are 3 indications of “Munafiq”; whilst he speaks he Lies, whilst he can provide he breaks those can provide and whilst he's entrusted(given something to maintain effectively), he embezzles(use it for himself or made himself as this is proprietor).” (Hadith Bukhari and Muslim). If i may well be there-- and if she become Muslim..i might bear in concepts her the above Hadith...cuz,she's starting to be to be Munafiq in the past she's able to attain it...and this is my accountability to try this.. If non Muslim...i might say her"omit,i in my opinion choose that element badly.Will you please returned me that element or I gotta purchase new...??She'll say,"Gonna return it quickly..""i might say,"omit,you in lots of cases say that.yet,unluckily!In my existence time,that nvr became real,sheesh!(warning:would not say this if she's Hitar kinda lady!yet,i might use next sentence..and if she's favourite i might use the two lines..) How might you experience if somebody borrows your issues and you don't get it in time once you're so rattling in choose of that element..?" OR i might visit lady and ask for some money(that's equals to my that merchandise)...shop it with me till she returns my element returned!

Answer 7

If it bothers you then you are setting yourself up for frustration every time you do it. So stop! Make an excuse if you want, you don't owe them anything.

Answer 8

Make it a personal rule and tell them you don't lend things or money, period.

Answer 9

YES