If life begins at conception, why don't we hold funerals for those who die from miscarriages?

Question

My wife and I have had many miscarriages. Many of our friends have had miscarriages. If life begins at conception, then shouldn't we mourn these losses the same way we mourn the loss of an infant?

Answer 1

Because the coffins would be so so so tiny.

Answer 2

Yes, you can definitely mourn or honor them the same way as a loss of an infant. Life is very precious indeed.
It's a matter of the prevailing cultural and religious beliefs and practices in your life though.
For example, in most Asian countries they actually count birthdates from conception. Like the Chinese that add about a year to their age when they go by the Chinese calendar. Subsequently, a miscarriage then is honored and mourned in the same way as an infant's passing since they are equally devastating.
Most Western cultures generally don't consider miscarriages on equal footing as loss of a child though so it is socialy acceptable not to mourn or honor miscarriages even when it is still emotionally devastating.
Relatively though, we can see how losing an infant would be perceived as harder felt since you were given the chance to actually see the product of your love and may have held and bonded with the infant and named the infant versus a miscarriage that is sight-unseen and is mainly anonymous in existence with no name to speak of and no bonding moment to remember.
I'm all for mourning and honoring miscarriages as well because I personally believe that life does begin at conception and life is precious in any form. If you don't subscribe to that belief though I would still recommend mourning and honring your loss since it is a good way to be able to have some closure and resolution for your loss so that you can move on with your life.

Answer 3

We do mourn them, and quite often a person's church will have a service for them.
The funeral as you are thinking of, is not for the dead, but for the living. So that family and friends can come together and honor the persons life, and comfort each other in the loss.
A baby who is still a little egg and who has not yet been born, had not the chance to be in the world where others got to know him, or where others had a chance to interact with him, etc. The child didn't get to come into the world where people could come together and speak of the experiences they had with them, etc.
Funerals are for the living, not the dead, is the short answer.

Answer 4

My Aunt had a miscarriage many years ago. They had a private funeral and the little grave is in the cemetery near my mom. She covers it with a "grave blanket" every winter - a flannel blanket with a wreath and baby toys attached. She removes the toys in the sping and makes them into Christmas tree ornaments.

I don't know what the "rules" are in the hospitals for miscarriages now. My Aunt got to hold that baby as it tried to breath but couldn't (this was many decades ago before they had so many life saving devices for premies), got to tell him of her love and cuddle and kiss him. She still gets teary-eyed when she thinks of him.

It's OK to morn a miscarried child. I would think it odd not to. It's the loss of a child you have planned for. Just because you didn't get to hold him/her or bring them home doesn't make them non-existant. If you want to have a funeral I think you should. I'm sorry for your losses. It's a very heart-wrenching experience and you shouldn't be made to think you can't morn the child.

(Other people might not be as emotional about it or understand your deep loss because they never got to hold or see the child or learn to love it like parents do before a baby is born.)

Answer 5

I am sorry for the loss you and your friends have experienced and I would not wish that on any person.

To answer your question: Actually, some states are moving towards recognizing later staged miscarriages as people and offering birth certificates to the grieving families. Although its less common, I have heard of parents holding funerals for their miscarried children.

Answer 6

Yes we should mourn these loses. I work for an OB doctor and according to Federal guidelines a baby isn't consider a baby until after 22 weeks gestation. I feel for you and your wife but Federal and State government govern these rules.

Answer 7

Because that wouldn't give us the opportunity we're after to bash people who don't believe what we do. It wouldn't serve the main purpose of all of the anti-abortion stuff, which is to promote one's own religious organizations.

If they can figure out a way to blame nonbelievers for miscarriages, you can bet they'll start holding those funerals.

Answer 8

because legally you NOT are a federally protected person until after you are born, not before you are born.
Some parents to have funerals for their still born children.

My wife has had several miscarriages. Two of them in our bathroom, and the remains were just blobs of tissue - not recognizable as humans. So they were flushed away down the toilet on the midwifes orders.

Answer 9

Don't you mourn these losses. Doesn't your wife mourn the loss of her child. I hope you do. The only reason there is not a funeral is because the doctor is so use to disposing babies that he has killed, that one more means nothing to him.

Answer 10

Some people do have memorial Masses and they say part of the healing process for people who have had an abortion is to name your baby that you aborted.

Answer 11

Excellent question. However, I do not believe that life begins at conception so I don't know the answer. I believe that until the child has its cord cut it is still a part of the mother rather than an individual human.