I'm intolerant and self centered.?

Question

I think I've figured out the reason I don't have a girl friend.
I'm very intolerant of others (I go crazy over something that isn't a big deal) and I'm really self centered (all I think about is my goals, what I want, what I don't have, and I try to hurt others because of it) all that and I don't let anyone in because I just judge them not worthy before I know them.

How can I fix these problems?

Answer 1

Sorry, but the symptoms you mention sound clear cut sociopath...Seek Counseling....

Answer 2

At least you recognize them. Congratulations. there are over 6 billion people with the same problem and no idea they have it.

You may be able to cut down the aggravation by looking at what control you have over what is happening. If some other goof off gets your goat ask yourself how much of its stupidity was your fault. If you are not involved then just make yourself ignore the problem. Unfortunately, Yahoo Answers is full of people asking exactly the kind of question that can set you off. I know because I have the same reaction to some of the ignorant questions.

Being focused on your goals is a good thing but you also, unfortunately, have to live with the rest of the planet and we may not share your goals. Try to get there without hurting people. It's difficult because some of us are very thin-skinned but you can do it.

All of these changes are very time consuming so don't expect overnight miracles. To help you cope with other people try getting a pet, cat or dog, that you can look after. It might help. Good luck.

Answer 3

You're doing better than most of us when you see your own faults so clearly.

If you can see what your problem is - that is half the battle, isn't it?

Perhaps you don't have quite as many faults as you think?

Also be careful to 'shop' for people that share your goals in life! Diametrically opposed life philosophies create B A D long term relationships.

In a lot of things couples complement each other - one has qualities the other doesn't. This is very good and desirable when it concerns positive things.

However, neatness, careful spending habits, not lazy - these detailes are important.

How does the person treat his/her family members? That is how you'll most likely be treated once the 'honey moon' is past.

Be careful not to be too blinded by the 'falling in love syndrome to see the other person for what he/she really is.'

Answer 4

You might find a counsellor or therapist - somebody who you can pay to motivate you to fix these problems.

Essentially, the key to fixing these problems is to:
(1) recognize them as problems (which you have done - congratulations - most guys don't even get to this stage!)
(2) determine that you want to fix them - this is a hard one - many guys realize they have a problem but can't be bothered as they are alright. But they are NOT! They have an additional problem! They are either too ignorant or too chickensh*t to address their issues. It's gonna be a long and hard road to fix personal habits that have taken a decade or two to be deeply ingrained. I don't know if you can handle it. Can you handle it?
(3) take positive steps towards the solution - here is where the therapy or counselling comes in. Look in the phone book, talk with your doctor or local health center to help you locate a satisfactory therapist/counsellor. Try to find one that is on your level - maybe one you have a bit of respect for.
(4) constant review

Answer 5

Congratulations on your self reflection and honesty. Now that you know what you dont like about yourself the path to change should be much easier than if you didn't. You need to make conscious efforts to be the opposite of what you are, this will take time but with practice the new behaviours that you want to develop will become the norm and the old habits that you want to change will reduce and then go.... its all about breaking the cycles...it may be that you will have to force yourself at first but again the more you practice the easier it will become; ask questions of people you meet, accept answers at face value, avoid making 'I' statements upfront...it may help to do some volunteer/charity work maybe you need to realise that for many people in our community they dont have choices and that life is down to what can I eat and where can I sleep...goodluck and best wishes in your journey.

Answer 6

You are too hard on yourself. Being a perfectionist is not all that bad if you keep the peaks and valleys in check. Your goals should be your priority so there's nothing wrong there. Just figure out the wanting to hurt others and judgemental parts and that should come with maturing. Have a little patience both in yourself and others and life will be much more fun

Answer 7

Well it's the first step [ and hardest step ] to realize what you're doing wrong. Congratz for that. Try to catch yourself doing something intolerant or thinking about yourself. When you do, take a step back and start over again. Maybe you should talk to some people you remotely like, let them know you a little better, and get to know them a little better.

Answer 8

You can fix them by realizing that we're all in this world together. Those deemed unworthy are here, and since you ARE worthy, it's your job to help the less fortunate. Figure out your criteria for unworthiness for each person, and in some unobtrusive way, help raise them a step at a time. Remember to apply your criteria to yourself whenever you fail because that means you weren't as worthy as you thought either.

Answer 9

I really don't know how to fix them; I'm that way myself and it's the big reason I'm alone. Fortunately for me, I don't mind being alone. You ( if you really want to change) have to learn to compromise your standards to make the other person happy. You have to be more flexible about your ideas of who is "worthy." It's very hard to do, changing. So far, I haven't found anyone I'm willing to change that much for.
One difference, with me, I try never to hurt anyone for any reason. Good luck, I hope you find what you're looking for.

Answer 10

Wow. i do not understand. Why do labor supporters unfairly and disgustingly generalise Liberal voters? And by technique of work supporters, I advise you. could you sink any decrease? heavily, that is an theory, boost up. What are you, like, 12? only because you do not believe others political beliefs would not advise you are able to insult them. it truly is no longer doing you any favours. So, until eventually you've something particularly worth affirming, close the hell up. What garbage.

Answer 11

Believe it or not, by acknowledging these issues and admitting them, you already took a big step in correcting them.
In order to stop it would be advisable for you to visit a psychologist who can give you tips about how to prevent these behaviors and what to do when you realize you're doing them.
Have some support, tell your friends about your problem and ask them to tell you if you do any of those things at a given time with any person.