i am very shy?

Question

i am not sure whether it is because of my last boyfriend (my only boyfriend) or what. but when ever i like someone i freeze. im 16 yr old girl. and i see my two best friends in the perfect relationships and even when im with a guy who obviously likes me and i fancy the pants off. i still cannot seem to say anything in an awkward silence.

my last boyfriend was such a bleurgh. the words i usually use to describe him i cannot use on here.

i still see him but not in that way but he still is mean to me... i dont know... how do i over come my shyness. i always fanatasize on how my friends would go about situations but i cannot bring my self to do it!

to the man who said sex?

its not actually to do with sex it is to do with being alone with a guy and actually passing time... but is with both as well

also. the really annoying thing is i'll be able to talk to all his friends with amazing confidence. its only guys i like

Answer 1

Dont worry maybe you just think too much when your in that situation. First things get that other lad out of your life if hes being mean to you constantly... everyone has their own insecurities we dont need people like him adding to them. I know it'll be hard to distance yourself from people but you'll feel better, and maybe it will be a bruised ego for him that you dont have time for him anymore. Most people feel the need to be mean to make themselves feel better, dont forget that.

Ok about the shyness...i use to be very shy myself, id blush if a boy i fancied talked to me (I know how sad!). But everyone experiences shyness in different ways. I've come to realise that when i feel i cant talk around someone it generally means i do not have much in common with him. But in regards to being shy, i just realised that there is no point. The lad obviously likes something about you if he wants to be with you...what is a relationship??? Gettin to know someone better. Try not to think as much when your with a lad and jus say whatever you feel like sayin soon enough you'll feel more out going. O and if it does not work out, dont think what did you do wrong like all us girls do!! Instead say to yourself obviously we were not meant to be, too different, not compatiable....PLENTY MORE FISH IN THE SEA!!!

About sex...im 22 ive dated alot of lads but i have not slept with them all. Think that it is something worth waitin for, its better when your comfortable around a person. Also lads will respect you and your body alot more if you respect yourself. Any lad that trys to pressure you is not worth it.
Dont feel the need to be shy just show your true self and be happy with who you are. Smile and hold your head high...you'll feel alot more confident!!

Answer 2

I went through exactly the same thing at age 16. I was painfully shy with almost anyone I didn't know, but especially boys, but I was terrific at hiding it, so I actually came across as cold rather than shy.

The best thing you can possibly do is though it sounds awful, plan ahead. If you know you are likely to be in a situation where you don't know the people, or might talk to a cute boy, then make a list of things in your head for conversation topics, sport, family, movies, music are all excellent ones. They are easy and friendly, and even if you aren't flirting, they set the ground for flirting by showing you are interested. If you really can't hold a conversation, then ask a leading question, and smile and nod a lot as he talks which will encourage him. Everyone likes a good listener.

Perhaps a couple of jokes would be good as well, or something in the news.

Trust me (I turned 18 a bit of time ago) everything will change in the years to come. Don't worry about it, and I can guarantee that the guy probably feels jsut as nervous.

Good luck

Answer 3

The best advice that anyone, anywhere, ever, in the history of girlfriends and boyfriends, has given is...

Be yourself.

I'm also a naturally shy person and trust me it doesn't really matter. Because once you meet someone that you feel you have (or may have) a connection with the conversation just flows. It shouldn't feel awkward or forced. Sometimes when I talk to girls (and I'm 23) it's like a battle. Like being back in the playground. Sometimes this can be fun but after a while it gets boring.

Just be comfortable with who you are.

Friends and lovers come and go.

Answer 4

You are in a unique position being 16 - one you'll never be in again. Guys will come up to YOU in the vain hope of eventually getting laid - and the "if you don't someone else will" attitude is not true and we know it.
First, some relaxation exercises - scrunch all the muscles in your body as hard as you can (in private) while inhaling, then relax and exhail while you think "RELAX". Do this ten minutes a day, then you'll be able to scrunch up once and be relaxed after a few days of practice. After a few weeks you'll be able to just think "relax" and you will be - assuming you keep up the practice at home.
Then, if you like a guy, smile, bump into him seemingly accidentally and smile at him, see what he does, touch his arm - give signals that indicate you're interested - and if he's not, pretend nothing happened - because nothing has. In short - MAKE HIM COME TO YOU.
Start with that, and if you need more, write me. I travel alot, but I WILL get back to you eventually.

Answer 5

I'm the exact same, painfully shy. When i met my current boyfriend, there were so many awkward silences where i just didnt know what to say to him. I told him i was very shy, but that i like him very much and all i needed was time to get to know him before i could come out of my shell and be myself. He accepted this, and we've been together almost 2 months now. its much easier to talk to him now, and im starting to be myself and be confident in the relationship.
hope this helps, just be honest with who you want to date :)

Answer 6

just be urself always.! count your blessings and think of your shyness as a gift, it means you will take the time to make an intelligent decision instead of rushing into something you will regret later. Each person is a beautifully crafted work of art no two are alike!

Answer 7

Shyness is a fear. Face your fears and you will watch them vanish.

Also try this: be an actress. Dont play yourself in the next scene, play the person you want to play .. one who is not shy. Its not shy little you out there on the stage, it is just this actress playing a part.

This is what it means to say: "The world is your stage"


Zen

Answer 8

I found therapy helped with my confidence, i found out what was holding me back the most and went out and made a difference for that and now i have all the confidence in the world which i have never had before

Answer 9

next time u r with a guy tht u like an u wnt to tell him u like him have a friend with u tht way u have a confidence boost cos u know tht u r being supoted by sum1

Answer 10

You are so normal, everyone goes through this time and its so hard. You have to learn to try and be yourself and relax around everyone although I dont know of any quick fixes except slow your breathing down a little and asking them questions to get them to talk about themselves.