I've answered this question on quite a few occasions now -- the question girls ask: "Why don't guys just tell me how they feel?" And I always give them the same answer -- "Because when we tell you, you reject us." This doesn't ALWAYS hold true; I'm aware of that. I understand that EVERYONE reacts in a slightly different way, but in a general sense of things, girls are more inclined to reject when dealing with directly-expressed feelings or proposals. MY question now is, WHY?
More and more girls are developing that "if you like me, then just tell me" lifestyle, which I'm totally fine with. What I'm NOT fine with, is the fact that every time feelings ARE expressed, I can almost guarantee rejection. Is it just me, and the girls that I ask? What is so hard about saying "yes" every once in a while?
2007-03-11 03:25:36 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe it's the females you are dealing with. Most women (real women) love when I man is honest with his feelings, mainly because in real men it is hard to find. They probably are just not ready or able to handle that type of man yet. Which is understandable. you have to be mature emotionally to handle feelings like whatever your telling them. Even if its a simple, i care about you and i wanna hang out at some point. Most ppl see that as moving way to fast or as creepy. But then again that usually how women who are just into themselves feel.
2007-03-11 03:32:01 · answer #1 · answered by carolina gyrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If direct proposals or expressions of emotion are coming from left field or from someone inappropriate (or dare I say it, ugly) then a girl is inclined to turn it down hard so that the guy doesn't get the idea that she's playing hard to get and that she's serious about her proposal, that she's angry at the guy for disrupting her peace of mind, or insulted that he thought he could have a chance.
A guy should only deal with directly expressed emotions if he's fairly certain of the outcome, like don't make a marriage proposal if he's discussed marriage ad nauseum with the girl and is 99% certain that she's going to agree. Otherwise, guys should take the subtle approach, because they give the girl more wiggle room and everything if more comfortable and non-committal
2007-03-11 10:39:05 · answer #2 · answered by Cybele 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not just you. It is the girls that you ask. You see you have "old school girls" and you have "new school girls." Old school girls are still influenced by the idea of the guy being aggressive and unemotional. They still have some support for gender roles and they aren't attracted to guys who dont' "play the game." New school girls are the ones who will make the first move and who will realize that guys have feelings just like they do and that expressing them doesn't make you weak. My guess is that you are approach girls who expect guys to be "masculine" just because they are men. I mean does being born a man make you naturally masculine? Of course not. You can cry and be very emotional and you will still be just as much of a man as the "masculine" guy. But alot of people still haven't realized that.
2007-03-11 10:33:06 · answer #3 · answered by Vince R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is the girls you are asking. Personally, if a guy tells me he is interested, I give them an honest answer...Some girls like to be "hard to reach" thinking that makes them special...but in their hearts they would wish they said yes to you instead..I think you should try again if they refuse the first time..maybe they will surprise you. Stay away from the snots...You know who they are, everyone does...they are too good for anyone...or so they think until they get out in the REAL world and find they aren't so special after all...
2007-03-11 10:31:15 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Minnie Mouse♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They like things to be direct, and they hate secrets. If you don't want a guaranteed rejection, hang out with a few of her mates and ask them, or hint and see if she has a good impression of you. Better yet, be friends wiith them and they can help you to get things asked. Just makje sure they don't get the wrong message.
You must be able to stand rejection, that's good. Girls like everything splayed out in front of us. If you like them, say so, they want to know. They want to know everytthing, really. Leave no holes.
2007-03-11 10:32:53 · answer #5 · answered by Cara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you are telling girls who aren't interested in you. what signals are you getting before you tell them? are you confusing just being friendly with liking you? perhaps you need to be a little more aware of the difference. then too, what is you say when you express your feelings? could it be considered offensive in any way? maybe your turning girls off with how you express your feelings. think about it
2007-03-11 10:34:29 · answer #6 · answered by JEANNE B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its all part of the chase. if you flat out tell a girl you like her (right away, or just after a few dates) ... the girl knows she could get you. its no longer challenging.
instead of saying "i really like you".. say... i dig that you are into (whatever). you can compliment like crazy but don't let on too early that you are totally into a girl.
its crazy i know, but if a guy is totally into me, its not a turn on anymore. however... after i dated a few weeks, maybe a month or 2.. and things are starting to get serious... then it might be good to let her know how you feel. its all about timing.
2007-03-11 10:32:30 · answer #7 · answered by avita81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls are, and have always been, notorious for wanting what they cannot have. As long as they think you don't like them, they'll be crazy about you. Once you say they do, suddenly they aren't interested. It's about the chase. You have to play the game, even if you don't want to... Girls aren't telling you what they really want. They're telling you what they think they want.
2007-03-11 10:31:02 · answer #8 · answered by K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a girl myself some of us like the chase just as much as the guys does. it could just be the girl or your approach. why not just ask the girl, if you want me to tell you how i feel then why when i tell you do you reject me?
2007-03-12 21:22:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until the right girl says yes. The wrong ones are the ones that are telling you no.
2007-03-11 10:31:04 · answer #10 · answered by Solar Ball 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋