Husband has cancer and I can't get any help.See details?

Question

If you've read any of my comments you know my husband has stage 4 non small cell lung cancer. It is now in his brain. I'm tired. I take care of him, work, take care of the house and kids and try to manage financially. I want help but those who said call me if you need anything are not available. I've tried organizations but we have too much money to qualify even though that's by just a few dollars and we are broke by the time bills get paid. I have a few family members near but they don't even call. If I ask them to help me they can't or say call an organization. I'm really tired and getting angry. Misplaced anger I guess. How does someone get help like a respite? I just need a break.

He gets disability. Thats what gives us too much income. We have no savings or other assets. I also work but make very little.

Answer 1

I work at the hospital and find funding for people in the same situations. Metastasis cancer can be hard and let me just say I am very sorry you must deal with this. Just don't loose hope.

As for funding, when you say a few dollars you'd have to be more specific (a hundred of literally a few dollars). In Medicaid there is the share of cost (SOC) program if your financial difficulties stem from lack of insurance or his costs left over after their coverage. Also if his cancer has gone metastasis and his has become unable to work you may wish to call the social security office. Applying for SSD and SSI (you may make too much for the second) could be an option to look into if you have not already done so. If he has gotten approved the Medicare has about 24 monthes before it is switched on. If he has gotten turned down don't give up. Do an appeal right away because much of the time the case will get approved on the second go. This would help get the Medicaid (you should be eligible since you have children). Another thing to look into is applying for a community hospital based program. I know the Shands hospital have them in Florida. You may want to speak with your case manager when you are in-house. The funding is usually done by the state.
I have also found that churches are wonderful at helping families in hard times. We had one gentleman who had no family. The local ladies group in the church set up a way for him to have a home cooked dinner each night and ride for his doctors visits. This may help less on the financial side and more on your stress level.
Lastly I think you would benefit from a support group. In larger communities they have groups for the spouses with illness. This would really help your state of mind more so than just a one on one therapist.

Good luck. I really hope this helps and i am sorry if it does not.


You may need to limit your income. He has no control over his check but you do over how much you make!!! If you are that close to the line then it may be worth it.

Answer 2

I'm sorry I do not know what stage 4 means.. Is he eligible for Hospice. Is his life expectincy going to be more than six months? I ask these things because if you register with Hospice you receive all the help you could possibly need. It is a wonderful organization that has several support groups that work for just your case. They also have respite care. If do you not qualify for that contact a social worker at the hospital near you and ask your questions to her and perhaps she can direct you to the right organization. Hospice dosen't care how much money you have.. it is the need that counts.

Answer 3

Having a family member go through what your husband is going through does put strain on others around them. I can fully understand your position, I lost my mother almost four years ago, also through stage 4 gastro-cancer. From what you have written I don't know where you are from or what your household income is like. I am writing from Australia, here we have medicare which, depending on your income, can assist with certain medical bills. I suggest looking up a similar organisation in your area. Another alternative is if you are from a low income family, perhaps there are government organisations like social assistance programs that assist low income families meeting medical costs.

As hard as it is you just have to hang in there and soldier-on, if family members don't help out then you just have to be he leader and take it on the chin, make sacrifices and make the best of the situation as you can. If there's no one else, then there's no one else.

Although I can not assist you financially I do hope what I have written here will give you some sort of solace and hope that all will workout for the better.

Answer 4

There is an organization online called Cancer Care. They have medical social workers who will talk to you over the phone for free. They may have some ideas to help you cope better with what is going on in your life.

CancerCare
http://www.cancercare.org/

CancerCare is a national nonprofit organization that provides free, professional support services for anyone affected by cancer.

Call 1-800-813-HOPE or email [e-mail].

Your local chapter of the American Cancer Society may also be able to provide assistance.

Local churches and service clubs should also be notified about your situation. Perhaps you should ask a friend to contact them on your behalf.

You might want to join an online support group whose members are going through the same thing you are:

The CAREGIVERS Online Support Group
http://listserv.acor.org/archives/caregivers.html

I understand what you are going through. It is not easy to stand alone. Be strong. Try to find some local support.

Peace to you.

Answer 5

Did you try calling the American Cancer Society? You should. They can tell you if there is anything that can be done for you.

Sorry to hear of your difficulties. I understand what it's like to be the "working poor"...you're caught between a rock and a hard place...no money, but too much equity to qualify for any assistance.

And you really learn who your friends are at times like this too don't you. I'm sure there must be some help out there for you. Hope you find something. Sorry about all your family is going through.

Answer 6

contact Cancer Centers of America

there are times when they will pay for your cancer treatments and pay for you to get to their facilities.

Churches may help.

The American Cancer Society has programs. Call the local chapter in your area.

Ask at the doctors office or hospital if there are any programs that could aid in his treatment........and to help out.

Local Hospice programs offer a certified nurse to come out and sit with your husband so that you can have a few hours to rest.

I am sorry that your family is going through a hard time.

I am the Captain of a Relay for Life Team in SC and THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I AM DOING THIS> To help families in your situation.......... The money that is raised goes to the Amercian Cancer Society. That is why I say, CONTACT your LOCAL ORGANIZATION........money is available to help!

contact the board of disabilities and ask if he qualifies for Respit Care. If he needs someone to stay with him (such as a babysitter) even if one of your children are old enough to watch him.........there are programs where the state would PAY for someone to watch your spouse. You could use that money to go towards home expenses.

GOOD LUCK>>>>> There are programs out there. Sorry that your family has turned their backs on you at your lowest time ever.

Answer 7

You are entitled to some anger, but you need a support group yourself, as a caregiver. Check out the hospitals for such groups.

Organisations are there to assist if you qualify. At this time, perhaps you could visit a church and seek help. If they turn you away, or set too many conditions on your salvation, just take it they're one of those churches that arent' spiritually equipped to handle crisis. There are other churches that will give whatever they have to give, sometimes, prayer is helpful. You and your husband need all the help you can find, whether it's spiritual, financial, emotional.

I wish you well....

Answer 8

I really feel for you and it must be a hard situation to be in. I take it that you are in America so I don't know how the system works over there but in UK we have Macmillan nurses who can help with day to day stuff and they also work at care centres when the patient can stay for upto 2 wks and get full time care so that the carer can get a break and I think this is free as funded but our NHS. Can you doctor not help or do you have a Citizens advice bureau that can help? Feel free to email me which you can do if you go to my profile if just talking can help thinking of you x

Answer 9

Have you tried talking with a social worker at the hospital you use? Because your husband already gets disability than he may also be eligible for Medicaid.

My son received both while undergoing treatment. The Medicaid worked great as a secondary insurance and did help cover what our primary insurance did not.

Answer 10

Cancers are greater properly matched with virgos. Leo are headstrong and opinionated and surely ticked off. Cancers are soft and withdrawn. those 2 do no longer mesh properly, yet regardless of each thing that's merely astrology.