What do you guys think about prenup? Im still in school and my bf is already an engineer...?

Question

was insulted when he mentioned he wants prenup before we get married? Is it normal to have prenup?

Answer 1

why be insulted? If you love him, love him for him not what he has. If you belive in your love then you never have to worry about using the prenup, right? Love is so perfect and lasts for ever.

Answer 2

He's being a realist.

Marriages that go south often ensnare the man & most men do not marry because of this fact.
The institution is outdated and maladapted to today's times quite frankly. There should be marriage renewals every year, every 2 years, every 3 years. Where each party gets to see how things are going and opt out if the union is not a good one.
That would cut down on a lot of the divorce rates & it benefits both men AND women.

In ANY OTHER ENDEAVOR that affects your life so greatly a contract with multiple clauses & options is always offered.
You don't go into business with somebody based solely on their word or you'll be a fool. We put stuff down on paper just in case someone wants wiggle out of their part of the bargain. When a contract is reneged on you can take them to court & itemize the wrongdoing or fraud.
Marriages don't seem to have any real ability to penalize an errant partner. It's all arbitrated in the end by some judge regardless of who wronged who.

EVERYBODY men AND women should sign a prenup if they plan on taking up the ritual of marriage. That way certain rules & agreements can be made in consensus and all parties cannot be surprised at the outcome.
You would do no different in a business deal or any other "merger". Why would this be different?

Though men have been financially destroyed (not to mention emotionally destroyed by divorces) women TOO have been used, abused, disused in divorces destroying all the work and investment they've built up over their adult lives.

To think that marriage is about love is to be naïve. The divorce court judge isn't talking about love in that courtroom. That judge is talking about money. Assets. Properties.
Love needs no formal contract. It just is. A long-term relationship is essentially a marriage itself.
Those vows spoken before the church official/justice of the peace are just words. Without any penalties to back them up they can easily be broken. And people do this all the time.
Anybody can SAY anything. It's what you DO that matters.
Words are just specialized soundwaves on air.

People change over a lifetime. What one person is at this stage in life may be different than that person will be in 5 years, 10 year, 15 years, 20 years. And there's no way to prepare for it but those changes can affect the marriage to the point of dissolution.

To be idealistic, naïve, and delusionally optimistic is to think this won't happen. To be nihilistic, disbelieving, and delusionally pessimistic is to think this always happens.
Realism balances out the two poles.

It might just go well (that's why you want to marry in the first place) but there's a chance that things can go bad (which is the reason to protect oneself with a prenup).

You shouldn't be insulted. Your man is smart & a realistic thinker. Human beings have a reputation for falseness. They call us persons for a reason. 'Persona' means 'mask'. Sometimes you can be fooled by the guise. Human beings don't know everything so arrangements are made to protect themselves against another who MAY not have their best interests in mind.

He's an engineer and you're still in school with what I'm guessing are significant student loans. That's a gamble because how is he to be so sure that you won't marry him in order to divorce to pay off those giant loans? Lots of people get in trouble supporting a person who has no income. Since women are predominantly favored in the courts how can he not think he's setting himself up for a fall?
Big expensive weddings that put a couple in debt from the jump and he's just starting out in his field??

Read these links if you need to understand how marriage isn't a sure thing as many like to think it is. REGARDLESS of one individual's good intentions one person can pay dearly for the other's misdeeds.

*Marriage & Life Partnerships*
http://www.loveshack.org/forums/f6/

*Infidelity*
http://www.loveshack.org/forums/f35/

Answer 3

These days its is generally acceptable for more and more relationships to have a prenup. This is more common in rich people or people who stand to gain alot should someone in their family die.
I dislike them to be honest simply because you get together with someone for a reason, and if you have a prenup then its generally money.

Not saying thats why you two are together.

Answer 4

Is he asking for a prenup? If so you might as does he truly love you or is he more in love with his income from being an engineer?

Answer 5

prenup is okay..... i would sign a prenup if my bf ask me that before we get married... :o) After all, i will not marry him for anything but to be with him only!!!! And then again, i'm just happy my bf is not rich.... rich people freaks me out.. ahhahahaha..

Answer 6

First, they are very common today, especially for men. It is not because a man doesn't love a woman, but because it is impossible to say if love is enough to hold two people together forever. Prenuptial agreements are nothing to get upset about. It is just a precaution for the future. I even signed a prenuptial agreement that my wife's family wrote, and my yet I am the only breadwinner. My wife doesn't work and I bought our house and car.
I do not know what your boyfriend is like, but please don't judge him just because he asked for a prenuptial agreement. Unless of course there are other reasons to think that he is bad to ask for this, then you can consider it insulting.

P.S. I also answered your other question. As I said there, just write your own prenuptial agreement that says that anything you make, or he gives you, during the marriage is yours.

Answer 7

Its normal to have a prenup if one of you has a lot of assets, stands to inherit a lot of property, or has children from a previous relationship. Otherwise, it is unnecessary.

Answer 8

Prenups are for losers. If you don't expect the relationship to last, don't finalize it with marriage. He loves assets mor than he loves you. Marriages with prenups usually don't last. Run, Forest, Run

Answer 9

prenup basically means that he loves his money more than you. if you really love this person, get the prenup and become a doctor.

Answer 10

If it is not forever it is not worth it. A prenup is not worth the effort if you never break up.

If you are going to it makes sense though.