10 yr old with autism hits my fiance, whenever he comes in the room.?

Question

10 yr old with autism hits my fiance, whenever he comes in the room. what to do? help!

Answer 1

I have worked with autistic children for years, and they are all so different. It would be hard to say definitely do this, but... it sounds like your fiance needs to find something that your 10 yr old likes and just be in the room with him (not near him at first) and do that puzzle or color a picture that your child likes. No eye contact. Just be there in the room with him (enter the room without saying hello and making eye contact - if the child comes at him to hit him he should try to avoid the child and go to the far side of the room or maybe start meeting out doors at a playground). When the child sees your fiance doing something they want to do - they may sit down and start doing it with him - no eye contact and remember to have a special snack or treat handy for a reward when they do start to do the puzzle and don't hit. You can also bring this up with your child's teacher and social worker and get help from them. Not sure if this is at all helpful - you have probably already tried parallel play, but - Good luck and blessings to you and your family.

Answer 2

Wow - a lot of the people who have answered this question don't seem to know anything about kids with autism. People with autism are like dogs? Are you kidding me? Please pick and choose what you listen to here, and anytime you ask for advice on your child. It's your child, you ultimately know best.

I'm not going to pretend to know your child, but often a change in their normal life can upset a child with autism. How long have you been engaged? Have you moved in with your fiance recently? Has he started coming by more or at different times? Getting married is hard on any kid. The huge change that this is going to cause, along with the stress of planning a wedding, may be upsetting your child. If you think this may be the cause, trying to keep to a routine may help, especially where your fiance is concerned.

I also liked the idea another poster had about parallel play. IF your child associates your fiance with something positive, the hitting may decrease or stop.

You may also want to discuss this with your child's teacher. Besides you, they probably know the child better than anyone, and may have some insight into the situation.

Answer 3

My almost 9 year old daughter has autism, and I'm appalled by the ignorant and insensitive comments posted here...No one asks to have a retarded or handicapped child, and you better hope good that you're not the one it happens to someday...That said, we have a very hard time with my daughter..Autistics are not known for knowing or following boundaries, my daughter has almost none at all no matter how much work we do with her...she does go to a special ed school year round and they work with her too, but it just seems like a non-stop fight...No boundaries mean she hits anyone anytime, steals food from other people's plates, throws her own food, drops to the ground and screams in public and at home...other than saying no that's not nice and trying to re-direct her,what more can you really do...it's not like a normal kid that you can take priviliges away from, or ground them if they aren't behaving...You and you fiancee please take heart and know that this special child was given for a reason, and if you would ever like to chat feel free to email me, as I'm living it too...Also please do a search for this BEAUTIFUL poem, "Heavens' Very Special Child", author Edna Massimilla (sp?).

Answer 4

If you know anything about autisim you should understand that they don't take well to changes in their lives. Your fiance is a MAJOR change. I am assuming (yeah I know what it makes one) that your son goes to some type of therapy? Well since he is your fiance then he should join in and learn a bit more about what he is about to embark upon. Maybe that way the child can become used to him being a part of his world. It's going to take time. YOU and your fiance are going to have to be patient....if your fiance isn't a patient man then maybe he isn't the one for you or your son to begin with.

Answer 5

Talkor go to an autism support group and find out how your fiance should properly handle approaching your son/daughter.

Answer 6

Autistic or not you need to set your son down and explain to him what he is doing is wrong and maybe set him down in a quiet spot everytime he does this or take away one of his favorite toys, or games for a day or two, and then give it back to him and tell him if he hits him again, the toy will be gone again. . He will learn. It may be a struggle at first , but you have to be consistent with telling him its wrong and putting him on a sort of time out. My son has hugh functioning autism and although some things may be difficult to deal with, he still has to learn right from wrong.

Answer 7

OK.. you are probably not going to want to hear this... I would be sure there is nothing going on that you don't know about... any sort of abuse... ANY child don't just show aggression... Not even autistic kids. You HAVE to protect your child. I am not saying for sure anything is going on as I don't know your fiancee... but being an outsider, that was the first thing that came to mind.. Depending on the level of autism, I would talk to your son, (If he is able to explain why he does it.) Otherwise I would suggest family counseling before the wedding, so that you will have peace in your house! They have wonderful autism counseling.. and family support! Good luck!

Good luck

Answer 8

I am very sorry for ur son.

I think u need to take him to like a psychiatrist so he can talk about his feelings.

Maybe he just doesn't like the feanci, and doesn't trust him much. What happend to his father. Maybe he still misses his dad, and isn't ready to let in someone else.

I wish u all good luck, and I will pray for u

-Brooke
a.k.a the pink one

Answer 9

Please know that most of the people that answered this question are probably 14 years old with no maturity whatsoever. Most have no experience with autistic children. I think it's terrible that some of them gave such ignorant answers. I agree with the person who said speak to a specialist because most people don't have experience with children with your son's condition. I am sure you are doing the best that you can.

Answer 10

He can be corrected. But have your fiance be the one to do this so the child knows that it is not approved. You will have to make a point that it hurts and he should not do this. He is 10 and you know that he can understand. Has your fiance hit him before? or played rough with him.. if so this may be why he does it everytime he sees him. Good luck.