How do I know if I will ever want children?

Question

My partner doesn't ever want to father children and I'm not sure if I am trying to convince myself that I don't want them either just to keep our relationship going, or if I really don't want them.

How do I know if I will ever want children?
My partner doesn't ever want to father children and I'm not sure if I am trying to convince myself that I don't want them either just to keep our relationship going, or if I really don't want them.

I'm thinking about having a tubal ligation (getting my tubes tied), or asking my man to have a vasectomy.

Any comments welcome. Thank you.

Oh, and just a little f.y.i - I have four wonderful nieces that I love and cherish, but I think I like being their fun Auntie, rather than anything more maternal. I like children, but cannot imagine having any of my own.

Answer 1

I was in exactly the same position as you. I have never been maternal - get the odd broody moment but is soon passes. I have a wonderful parter of 7 years - we love each other deeply and are extremely compatible however, he doesn't want children. Personally, I was never that maternal, it is more important to me that I have a good relationship with a man that I love than to move on and have children with someone else that I may not love as much. If you really really want children, then you need to think carefully at your relationship because you may feel a bit bitter if later, you regret not having them. The key is making your decision and moving on from there. I will not have children, I am 40 and my life could not be happier - there are a lot of benefits to not having children and you don't NEED them to have a happy life. However, there is no doubt that me and my partner could quite possibly have missed out on some beautiful experiences if we had had children so, there are two sides to this! Decide what is really important to you. Your partner has been honest with you so it is unfair to try and change his mind on this - it is up to you to make your decision. Good luck. x

Answer 2

I was the most anti-children person you could ever have met then one day I woke up and just wanted a baby. You will just know.
I suppose the most important question is would your partner support you if you either changed your mind or fell accidentally and decided you wanted to keep the baby.

Answer 3

Keep your options open.

I was pretty 'meh' about the whole thing for years and years; now, well, I'm very happy I _did_ keep my options open. Look into IUDs; just don't do anything permanent.

Of course, nobody here can really answer this for you -- but it does seem to me to be a bit of one of those 'if you have to ask' questions... Don't try and convince yourself just because of the relationship you're in.

Answer 4

we've a sparkling puppy i'm attempting to lavatory prepare him, yet he's no longer the neatest of canines lol. My 2 365 days previous son is in many situations particularly stable approximately telling me the place a wee wee is or a pooppy.He gets particularly grossed out seeing one and has never touched them till now, yet this morning replaced right into slightly diverse, i replaced into getting my 6 month previous son out of his pyjamas and that i assumed my 2 365 days previous replaced into being slightly quiet, the fashion of quiet that shows he's doing something he shouldn't, i ended getting my toddler dressed and walked out into the front room room and there replaced into my 2 365 days previous counting little pooppy nuggets. i replaced into horrified, it replaced into so repulsive, i scrubbed his palms and he apologised plenty to me. and as quickly as I flushed the pooppy down the lavatory he waved see you later to it :P Ahh the flaws little ones do. particular i attempt to %. my own maximum suitable solutions, coz in any different case each so often people dont vote and an answer which you think of wasnt worth can win the ten factors.

Answer 5

You need to spend some time and really think about it. Be true to yourself because it is hard when you want children but can't.
Imagine the end of your life, will you want to look back and know that you have had your own family?
I wouldn't want to look back at my life knowing I've had no kids.

Answer 6

Not wanting kids and being undecided are two completely different mindsets. You are undecided. Be honest and tell him that. Maybe you can convince yourself that you really don't want children, and maybe you would be happy that way. But maybe not. Don't do anything permanent to your body while you are still undecided.

Answer 7

Wanting children is a difficult one. Some people want them all their life, and others have to feel when the time is right.

Its something within you, and I think that you'll know when the time is right for you to decide.

Take it easy, enjoy your relasionship, and wait, it'll come to you in time.

Answer 8

toss him out, u r probably convincing yourself that u dont want kids, but one day when your too old, its too late then, if my husband didnt want kids i would have gotten rid of him, and he would have done the same to me, even though i was 17 and he was 23 when we met, we talked about this, we wernt ready 4 kids then but we discussed the matter anyway, im 32 now and hes 37 and we have 4 kids, so it did happen and i would never change a thing, we are very happy and wouldnt b without our kids, u would b crazy to think u dont want any, they r beautiful,

Answer 9

If you did not want children then you would know it without doughting. You sound like you are a responsible person that would like a planed pregnacy someday with someone who felt the same way.

Answer 10

Neither of us wanted children. Then one day, we thought, we have a home, cars, good Jobs and great holidays, what next? We have 2 lovely kids now.