At what age should my son find out about sex?

Question

He's 6 now and he's very perceptive. He knows it takes a mommy and a daddy to makes a baby, but he doesn't understand how. He knows the word sex from our wonderful new TV shows. I don't think he knows what the word means. I'm thinking 10 would be the prime age for a kid to start getting a real education about it. Is that too early?

Answer 1

I think the best way to handle this is to keep the lines of communication open, as in, make sure he always feels comfortable asking you things. Then, simply answer any questions he has as they come up. He will actually remember the conversation and what you teach him about sex if you're telling him because of his own curiosity. There is no perfect time to tell a kid because a lot of factors are involved. One of the main factors to consider is the maturity level of the child. So.. just let him set his own pace. I'd be careful with the TV shows that he has access to because that could make him curious about adult issues that he is not mature enough to really grasp yet.

Answer 2

Well, if he is already asking about it, then this is the perfect time for you as a parent to start educating him about it! HE has already chosen the "right time." This is your cue! You need to speak with him now about the perverbial "birds and the bees." Just be honest with him and use the real words for the body parts and explain things on a level that 6 year olds can understand. Like boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. When you get older and get married, you will fall in love with a girl and get married. After you married, you will cuddle and sleep in the same bed like mommies and daddies, etc. You don't have to go into the graphic details and nature of intercourse yet, he is too small to grasp it and will probably traumatize him. There are many books at the library nowadays that can help you explain it to him for his age group! They are a wonderful resource as you can read them together and he'll then have other question too. I'm sure once you explain things now for his level, he'll be satisified with the answers you give him and you can wait for "the big talk" until he is much older! Hope this helps and good luck!

Answer 3

I would think 10 is a good time also....you hear of 11 and 12 year olds being sexually active so the sooner you explain the facts of life to him, the better he can make decisions that will effect him.
In the meantime, if he asks any questions, no matter what they are, answer him honestly and use the proper names for body parts etc.
You can influence his choices according to your set of morals. If you believe he should wait for marriage....say so, but tell him a lot of people don't and put themselves out there in a world where they can get diseases that cannot be cured, one of which will eventually kill them, or that he could end up having to become a father at an age he should be having fun, going to movies with friends etc.
I think one of the best things they invented for kids in grades 7 & 8 are the dolls that are programmed to act as babies....cry through the night, need to be fed, diapers changed, get colic....the works. Both boys and girls take them home for just one weekend and it usually makes them decide to hold off having sex.....having a baby just ain't what it's cracked up to be.....at least when you're a baby yourself.
So plan to sit him down at 10 but in the meantime, be honest and answer all questions. They know when they are ready to ask and can tell if they can talk to you by how you respond (nervous etc). Good luck

Answer 4

I think that it really depends on the child..
And.. subjects like that at 6 years old, are only as big as YOU make them.. if you act all weird, and sketchy when he brings it up, he's going to know something is making you uncomfortable. Just be honest.
Sex is sex. Most of us do it, and it's a natural thing.
But it takes maturity and responsibility.
Those are the points you need to stress to him... though maybe not QUITE at 6 years old.
Id say.. if he starts asking, then just start answering. No need for details.. but be honest-

"What is sex?"...
"Well, sex is something that adults do when they care about eachother"
Vague, but simple honest answers I believe are appropriate for a 6 year old.

Im sure you'll find that the lesser of a deal you make it, the better- for NOW.
I think I would save the SERIOUS talk for when you start seeing him going thru puberty... or 10.. 10 seems like a good age for a more indepth talk about sex too :)

Answer 5

10 .. is not too early. the fact he's asking at six .. means he's paying attention. now .. your job should be watch how much he's paying attention.

I see many answer come from a 'straight point of view' .. granted .. the 'mommy and daddy to make a baby' .. but adhere to this thought .. if he's questioning, then just give him answers which will satisfy his curiosity. think of answers that won't further confuse him .. like .. because mommy and daddy sharing love .. and sharing love can be rewarded with the special gift of a child .. like him .. that would more than likely satisfy any need to expand on the knowledge for now.

hey .. it's being truthful .. and still .. keeping his curiosity at bay ..

later on his years .. he'll answer his queries with experimentation .. hopefully you would like him to maintain a straight lifestyle .. but have you given thought how to respond when he suggest to you his desire for another boy ? .. just a question .. not a 'ill-thought' remark. no offense intended.

good luck

bga

Answer 6

I have had a talk with my son at age 6 about this issue, upon his questioning. As i told him then, "you must learn to curb your curiosity about things like this, nature will provide you with all you need to know when the time comes for you, it's OK to learn about how human reproduction works, which school will teach you, but in matters regarding your interests in sex, many other things must come first and this will happen for you naturally, and you will be glad you waited!" We live in a time where the mysteries of nature are prematurely experienced, but with discipline, love and trust in your parents, all things will be known in their proper time!" He is 13 now and has never asked again, and plans to graduate high school, go to college and establish a career before he seriously seeks a soul-mate, but has considered dating until then for friendship!

That which you do not teach or provide a structure for self discipline will be learned on the street!

Answer 7

There is no set age. When he asks a question, answer it. Don't go into so much detail that you confuse him.
My daughter is 10 and has a book called Lets Talk About Sex. I have answered her questions and given her the book. She finds it all interesting but a bit yuk.

Answer 8

The way things are now, 10 is a perfect age to start telling him about sex. I have two more years before my son is 10 and I'm already getting ready for that conversation. :)

Answer 9

Knowledge is power! I would talk with him about it around age 8. now you have to keep in mind it has been reported that boys as young as 10 years old have fathered babies and the Pregnancy rate of girls still in elementary is on the rise!! If you teach your children about sex before there peers do chances are they will be smarter about it.Always keep them informed with honest clear answers encourage them to ask questions and reassure them they can talk to you about anything.

Answer 10

Unfortunately, just having the tv in the house creates the possibility that he will find out more than you want sooner than you would want. Be ready to talk about it sooner than later.